to tell him where to shove his breadsticks? *lighthearted*

[Teatowelfairy]

Not done the food shop today as planned so fuck all in. Did have eggs but used them for the DC tea which left DH and I with a choice of whatever's lurking in the bottom of the chest freezer, breadsticks or super noodles.

DH had to go out for a couple of hrs this evening but suggested he nips into tesco on way home and grab us some nice treats!

9.45pm, he finally returns and proudly reveals what he's bought especially for me.

Pigs in blankets, onion rings, and TeX mex dips to go with the fucking breadsticks!

WIBU to tell him where he can shove the breadsticks?

I see you have two choices

Poke the breadsticks up his nose

OR

Ltb

Treats? Your man clearly doesn't know what a treat food is

I've been fancying a picky dinner for ages so sorry, I think that sounds great!

Pink you've convinced me, I should definitely LTB! stick the breadsticks up his nose as a parting gift

I'm all for picky dinners violicorn but I was expecting treats.

Pigs in blankets are a treat! Oh I need some now. Send them to me?

It would be my pleasure! Would you like breadsticks with them? There's plenty to go around so it's no trouble.

Hmm no. Breadsticks are a bit shit... you keep them for your dips

Fuck the breadsticks I found a tub of Ben and Jerry's hidden in the freezer. Scoffed the lot! Better get my fat arse down the gym tomorrow....still it'll give me plenty of time to imagine creative scenarios with DH and breadsticks

My DP is similar, strangely he is never allowed to shop alone for occasions like Christmas etc. as I'd kill him with the bread sticks.

I would have been quite content with the super noodles

Only a man would consider a pig wrapped in more pig to be a treat

YABVU - wtf did you think would happen - you sent a man to the shops wthout a list? What's wrong with you head tilt

How very dare you green!!

Did he think he'd done a great job?

I don't think I would've survived dinner of that caliber without Ben & Jerry's to follow!

Of course he thinks he's bloody wonderful at shopping. He puffed his chest out with pride and preened at what a great job he'd done, fully expecting to be bombarded with adoration and gratitude.

Only to be met with, 'what bloody time do you call this?' and 'are you having a laugh?' followed by a swift exit in search of two incredible men, Ben and Jerry!

Wow Clandestine that's some amazing CFN work, but how the fuck did you install a nanny cam in my house?

Speaking from experience! Thanks for the giggle!

To be fair to DP, his parents were very pleased with their Christmas dinner- roast Turkey (dry as fuck), coleslaw (bought), potato salad (bought)... That's the sort of thing we have when I can't be arsed to cook.

The only solution is to send him to the shop again, but demand he actually buys, you know, treats.
Or takeaway.

What fresh hell is this? Potato salad and coleslaw for Christmas dinner? Surely not!

I stupidly didn't think I needed to specify treats but he does have form for returning with bags full of shit. He once returned with something for dinner....a packet of stuffed peppers, packet of samosas, and a bag full of various ice cream, sweets, chocolate etc and fuck all for the DC. He said he had forgotten what he was sent for "Well pick up the bloody phone you cockwomble!"

Teatowelfairy

You are totally failing as a wife here - it is your job and indeed your duty to train this man! He may need additional classes if you are unable to get him properly house trained

DH took a long time but now exceeds in the treat department (example DD14 request for chocolate produce 4 different bars and a large family bar)
He is also able to remember short shopping lists independently - bread milk -
He can at a push randomly surprise everyone with some delight, last night was trifle on special offer

There's hope but you need to put in a lot more effort