Mumsnet Logo
My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to want to skewer dh with a red hot poker?

16 replies

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 20:10

he went out this pm to 'buy the lottery'. now the dead giveaway was that he walked. he NEVER walks. plus he didn't want to take one or other of the kids with him.

so i knew he was going to end up in the pub. i knew it was his intention when he left, and was mildly annoyed that he was trying to be sneaky. ffs he's a grown man! if he wants to go to the pub he shuold just say M2PW, i'm off down the pub.

anyway, he phoned me. "i was dangerously close to the pub hurhurhur, so i thought i'd phone you. that's better than just going and not phoning isn't it"

so i told him thanks but i already knew when he left where he was going to end up.

he tells me he is going to have 'one pint' and see me shortly. 5pm.

anyway, time comes to put the kids to bed (half an hour ago) of course he's not back, but i knew he wouldn't be. problem is, ds2 has pulled the curtains down and ds1 is in full meltdown about it. FULL meltdown.

you can't reason with him, can't stop or distract him, can't do anything in fact but ride it out (those with autistic kids with know what i mean)

i can't put them back up and in despairation i ring dh to ask - nay, beg him to pop home and put the curtains up - bear in mind pub is at the bottom of the street!

he says no.

so i am left with a child in meltdown when he could have popped back home and put the curtains back and been back in the pub behind his pint in 10 minutes.

was it really that much to ask?

ds1 is still off on one, i have had to go and rescue ds2 and leave ds1 going at it. he'll be like this for hours now. and

oh and i ended the call with dh by saying "oh thanks, thanks a lot" and bashing the receiver down repeatedly against the base before replacing it

and theres a casserole in the oven for him that might find itself with one or two bonus ingredients.

OP posts:
Report

Nikki76 · 28/03/2007 20:12

Oh poor you!! Get the cat or dog to piss in a pint glass and when he comes back home, welcome him and say honey, I thought you may like a night cap after your busy night at the pub...

On a serious note - he's being way unreasonable! Espec if one of the kids is having a melt down - you need support!

Report

TheArmadillo · 28/03/2007 20:13

I'd be furious too.

Its one thing sneaking off to the pub, but anoter thing completely not to come home when needed, even just for a few minutes.

Is this typical behaviour or a one-off?

Report

moondog · 28/03/2007 20:13

Ah let him enjoy his pint in peace and make a mental note to swan off yourself one of these evenings.

Report

frumpygrumpy · 28/03/2007 20:18

sweetheart, sounds like hell in a handcart xxxx. Have been not there but similar, many, many moons ago and before DP or I had children so not that similar really . Could he be struggling with the day to day demands and trying to ease the pressure? If so, then he needs reminded that you are too and you didn't walk out the door as the ship got rocky. I hope you can settle your children, eat some of your delicious food and tuck yourself into bed with telly/book/trash mag.

Try not to talk to him tonight, you'll be too mad. Love to you x.

Report

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 20:21

yeah, i am hopping mad but to be fair he's a good man who does a lot and doesn't (any more) get out much - still more than me though!

i don't like it when i don't get my own way. and that he should have come home and sorted it out. erm. because i told him to.

i'm still mad though.

OP posts:
Report

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 20:23

ooh, i make myself laugh sometimes! i've read it all back and i ask you, what am i on!! i just answered my question i think.

OP posts:
Report

GooseyLoosey · 28/03/2007 20:25

Totally and utterly reasonable - selfish b*d

Lol at the bonus ingredients in the casserole! If it was my dh, it migh find itself in the garden.

On the curtain front, I have actually selotaped curtains to ds's window when we moved in to our current house and didn't have any curtain poles - would this work?

Report

frumpygrumpy · 28/03/2007 20:31

You actually have every right to be mad. You are in this together and you don't sound like the sort of woman who would do this back ........

However, if he is normally worth his salt, then let him have this one (within reason) and you keep it logged .

Report

bubblicious · 28/03/2007 20:35

send him to the doghouse with mine!

Poor you, Bloody men what really makes them tick!

Report

UnquietDad · 28/03/2007 20:45

Sloping off to the pub is hardly a skewerable offence. It's not as if he's run off with the nanny. I agree, some more notice might have been useful, but as others say, it means you re now owed one, so just let him enjoy his pint and arrange your own socialising for next week.

Report

frumpygrumpy · 28/03/2007 20:46

maybe so unquietdad, but that was 3 hours ago

Report

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 20:49

oh, it wasn't going to the pub so much (well a bit, but mostly cos he was sneaky about it), more that he's only at the bottom of the road and i really really needed him to pop back for just a minute to solve a problem that would have helped ds1! and meant i hadn't sat here for an hour listening to screams and banging and crashing!

OP posts:
Report

elasticbandstand · 28/03/2007 20:49

i am going to slope off to the pub.... not

Report

mummytosteven · 28/03/2007 20:52

yes, I think a red hot poker is too kind, it should have spikes on too

seriously - if he's usually helpful etc, then he MASSIVELY owes you a grovelling apology, and a break for you one night.

Report

Roskva70percentcocoa · 28/03/2007 21:08

I sympathise - my dh is not great on the providing support and second pair of hands front, even if he is not usually known to slope off down the pub! If I were you, I would have switched the oven off - if he's expecting to come home to hot food, then he deserves it emptied over his head as he creeps through the door. Or if you have a dog, "you're dinner's in the dog" is quite a good one - my mum did that to my dad once , and the dog thought she was in heaven...

Report

TheCranberriess · 15/01/2023 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?