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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Haven't dated in 16 years since I was 21..37 and single,Aibu to think my life has slipped by?

24 replies

Lindsay28xxxx · 07/08/2017 22:14

I got my heart broken when I was 21 and haven't dated/kisses/slept with or even messaged another man since.
I'm now 37 and single,no kids.
All my friends are married etc and I'm on my own.
I've been a total fool haven't I?

OP posts:

nicelyneurotic · 07/08/2017 22:19

You sound like a lovely person who has been deeply hurt. It's not too late to meet new people and possibly have children too if that's what you want.
Are you happy? How would you like your life to be?

Original poster

Lindsay28xxxx · 07/08/2017 22:20

I'm not happy no,I would love to meet someone nice and kids etc but doubt it's going to happen.

OP posts:

Purplepicnic · 07/08/2017 22:20

Do you mean you have rejected any advances or you haven't had any?

Either way, it's never too late

nicelyneurotic · 07/08/2017 22:22

What are you doing to meet someone? 37 isn't old at all.

MartinJD · 07/08/2017 22:25

You are still young and have the rest of your life to begin courting. Have you thought about joining a book club, or sailing club?

Best,
M.JD

Ragusa · 07/08/2017 22:30

It's never too late to meet someone. Are you truly open to someone?? If you are still deeply affected by your previous relationship and haven't already, then maybe some form of counselling would be beneficial?

brightlightceiling · 07/08/2017 22:32

Great that you realise that. It's not to late, go have some fun!

Original poster

Lindsay28xxxx · 07/08/2017 22:33

I've just never bothered to meet people,go anywhere I could meet people.
I'm not doing anything to meet anyone I don't even know where to start.
My last ex hurt me and I've never got over him

OP posts:

Ragusa · 07/08/2017 22:34

Sailing M.JA? A little random OP I'don't pick something a little less niche, unless sailing is literally your first love .... my strong advice would be this:

Think what you are really passionate about and join loads of related clubs. You will likely meet a kindred spirit.
If that's sailing all well and good :)

LondonNicki · 07/08/2017 22:38

I'm almost 10 years older than you and still looking! You are so young. Do try a dating app like hppn or match as it's really hard to meet anyone by doing the day to day routine. You still have time and if you put your mind to it you could change your circumstances in a couple of years.
If you want it - go for it. There is lovely man out there thinking the same thing so you just need to meet him but sitting at home sadly won't make it happen.

LondonNicki · 07/08/2017 22:50

Martin stop signing off. It's annoying.

ManyManyShoes · 07/08/2017 23:55

My boss is 40 and he's single. It's not too late!

MiniTheMinx · 07/08/2017 23:58

It's never too late.

Pombearsandnaiceham · 08/08/2017 00:02

Definitely never too late OP :)

hmmwhatatodo · 08/08/2017 00:10

Surely most people are in sailing clubs already, aren't they?

Marryoneorbecomeone · 08/08/2017 00:14

There was a really interesting book called "how to meet and marry after 35" or something similar. You can do it, but YOU have to make it happen.

Marryoneorbecomeone · 08/08/2017 00:16

Ta dah!

you can do it

Aquamarine1029 · 08/08/2017 02:53

Don't be ridiculous. Your life has just begun. Trust me.

Helbelle75 · 08/08/2017 03:08

I spent 10 years in a relationship which was going nowgete. I left him at 37.
I met my lovely dh at 38, we got married when I was 40 and out dd was born 4 months ago. I'm 42 now.
Never too late and often worth waiting for.

Unacceptable · 08/08/2017 03:31

Do you still live at 'home' and socialize predominantly with your parents?
Because if you do, stop doing that. It's not attractive to a potential partner

Original poster

Lindsay28xxxx · 08/08/2017 17:21

No I've got my own place.
Have my own friends etc

OP posts:

Mollie85 · 08/08/2017 19:16

I'm pretty much the same as you OP. I was in a DV relationship at 24, ltb when I was 26 and then when i was 27 discovered I was infertile. After that I didn't bother.

Was at a wedding last week and met a man. We are going for coffee next Sunday... I'm not saying "this is it, call off the search" but it's a step in the right direction... I'm 36 btw

Agree with dating apps though - a few of my friends have met people this way. You do have to sort through the ones only after one thing (not judging that, it just sounds like you want more)

Hope all works out for you

Unacceptable · 08/08/2017 20:57

Ah, sorry Lindsay. I was projecting a friend's situation onto you. She's fab and desperate for a partner bit literally spends all her time with parents and has no intentions of ever leaving home.

In your case I'd say 16 years is a very long time to hang onto heartbreak.
Your ex broke your heart. That's shit but in the past.
Put yourself out there. Mingle. Be happy. It'll happen

John4703 · 08/08/2017 21:32

I got married when I was 25, we stayed married for 26 years but then things fell apart as every time I came home from work she had her male friend there. We divorced.
I met a few people then met the person who is now my DW. We were both 55 years old. We fell in love and are now very happy together. My DW had never been married and has no children but I am sure she would say we are happy.
OP you can be happy.

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