To ask her to say 'pardon me' ?

[ineedagasmask]

I have a friend of 20plus years. We are good friends but not mega close and she's 15 years older than me. She lives abroad and is over here on holiday staying with me for 2 weeks. She is a bit stuck in her ways which is fine but the biggest problem is she keeps farting (passing wind)...not just a wee 'poof' but full blown mega farts. She does it when we are sitting watching films, she even kind of sits up a bit off the seat as if to prepare herself for it. She never ever says 'oops sorry' or 'excuse me' she just lets rip! Worst was other night she did it when my other friends were in and it was really uncomfortable but she was oblivious. I know she has had bowel probs in past but as far as I'm aware all ok now and I know everyone farts! It's just the way she just sits and forces mega ones out without batting an eyelid. How do I say to her...for gods sake have manners or go and try and do a poo or whatever..she even did it in the restaurant other night ...how do I I approach it without sounding horrible? I was going to try make a jok of it but she's very old fashioned and I don't think she'd find it funny...help I have another 10 days of this!

I have a friend who burps really loudly and just acts like it's nothing. Not a little noise but like Barney off the Simpsons. It's weird as she's really very glam, and works in a high powered job, which is very people skill focused, so it doesn't match other parts of her 'image'. People are strange!
I've never mentioned it to my friend, I just act like it didn't happen. I suppose it's worse for you because of the smell factor. It's hard to mention it when you've ignored it to date. Best of luck!

She is a bit stuck in her ways which is fine but the biggest problem is she keeps farting (passing wind)

Thanks for the clarification on what farting means there.

Try giving each fart a mark out of 10, with extra points for smell, until she starts getting annoyed or embarrassed with you bringing attention to it.

ineedagasmask Tue 08-Aug-17 08:30:25
Thanks Maddhugger maybe when she farts I should message her one if those to her phone

we made a mock gas mask. give it a go

YANBU. I enjoy a good fart as much as the next person, but wouldn't do it purposely in front of someone I hardly know!

Runny Tue 08-Aug-17 09:40:57
YANBU. I enjoy a good fart as much as the next person, but wouldn't do it purposely in front of someone I hardly know!

funny given you name

.

I'm giggling because I'm immature or whatever but seriously, I would tell her to do whatever it takes for her to stop inflicting you and everyone else with her disgusting anti-social behaviour (maybe some OTC flatulence meds would help? Or just simply go outside to pass her gas) or cut her visit short.

Cut all the white carbs out of the food you're serving her, that should lessen and even stop the problem in a few days.

No bread, potatoes, rice, biscuits, pastry, pasta.
Use sweet potatoes, cauliflower for rice, courgette spirals for pasta.

Then once she's got over the shock of not being a gas-generator, she may realise how offensive she's been and try to stop..

Blankface - cauliflower?? Wouldn't that make it much worse??

Please don't think saying 'Pardon me 'is in anyway acceptable. It's about as common as you can get. Much, much more so than farting.

You are such a wannabe.

Put a prim Victorian face on and say "Must be foggy on the river tonight."

@Harsh - cauliflower?? Wouldn't that make it much worse??

It didn't seem to. I cut out all the carbs as above from the family's diet and within a very short time we all noticed the lack of gassy wind. It's by no means guaranteed, but I've heard a lot of low carb dieters say the same thing.

That's foul.

Next time, you just get up and say 'I'm sorry but I really can't take this any more. Do you realise how foul it is to have to smell your poo pretty much all the time? Everyone has to fart but it's basic good manners to leave the room to do it rather than to stink out all and sundry. Please, could you do this in future? I'll be in the kitchen until this clears, see you in a minute.'

"Tell her that her farting makes you sick.".

I suppose you're one of them, who's never farted. Well when you do. It'll be a cracker.

Mind you I guess there's farting and letting rip. Just letting one go and not saying excuse me. Isn't very lady like

It's revolting. People have sphincter muscles so they can hold it in.
Pasta is correct - little flecks of faeces are blown into the air around you and she expects you to breathe this in.

I would start retching - really over the top retching. Imagine an actual turd tickling the back of your throat. As you retch, say to her that she is disgusting and go into the garden for a while. Get all the windows open and keep retching. She knows she's doing it and it's beyond grim.

Crying at even the dog leaving the room.

Does she do it at work too? If not, she can clearly hold it in. If she does, god help them.