To skip nieces birthday party

[IntelligentPutty]

Hi

So my sister is married into a family where there are about 8 -10 nieces and nephews. My ds is only child (so far) and at last party earlier this year. Ds was really withdrawn and quiet ( not like him at all). I think that it was the gaff that whenever he tried to play with my niece. His cousin. The other children from other side would just swipe her away (or distract back to their attention) and so the he never actually fit to play with cousin (only person he knew there).
My other nephews party is coming up in a few weeks.
Dh doesn't want us to take ds as he was so withdrawn after last party. And priority is hus wellbeing /happiness.
I do t mind and completely agree. But are we being too sensitive.
And what excuse. Shall we tell the truth. Or some white lie.
I don't wave to be ridiculous but I don't want my ds to be upset like that.
The kids on other side range from 3 to 12 so should know better or at least not exclude like they did.
WWYD?

Just have a chat with your sister and explain that it upset him last time and hopefully she will have a word with your niece and ask her to make sure he's included.

How old is your son?

Maybe catch up another time to play? parties arent always the best, especially if its not your ds cup of tea.

I'd still take him and bring it up with parents if their children are excluding him.

How old is your DS?
My DD1 wouldn't be great in a party situation where she only knows one child. Whereas my DD2 would quickly join in and make new friends.
But I'd never keep DD1 away from parties - otherwise how would she ever become more sociable?
I would take him.

they are your sister's nieces and nephews by marriage but i don't think they are yours?

so it seems to me a bit much to expect all and sundry to come to these parties. I think you are fine to bow out.

Are are the children your sister's children? I'm confused.

Yes. It's a bit confusing!
My ds
My sister has a ds and dd (both my blood relations)
Her husband (and so she) has loads of nieces and nephews.
The party is for my niece.

They are all toddlers. (Mine and my sisters little ones).
My boy is a very sociable little thing and so hence why I was so surprised at the reaction at last party.
I don't want to say anything and make it into something big....
I wonder if I'll just say can't go and let him decide what he wants to do in future years when older.
I think the problem is that the other half are soooo cliquey that they actively exclude others (and probably don't even know they are doing it).

I think you should go and supervise your ds a bit. If the other side try to take your neice off, then interject and tell them firmly that she's already playing with her cousin and to either join in or come back later.

If your son is only a toddler I think you are being a bit mad. Presumably you will be there too so can entertain him if the older kids don't include him. Not really surprising that a toddler might not be included in older children's games. It might be a completely different situation this time anyway.

On the other hand if you've no interest in keeping in with that side of the family you could just arrange to see your sister's kids another time - but to decide on that purely because a toddler didn't enjoy a party last time seems odd.

It's hard because it doesn't sound like they were excluding him on purpose. And if they are all related and grew up together then they want to see and talk to the birthday girl as much as they can and probably will be the same for the nephew's birthday. I can't imagine children older than toddler age interested in socialising with a toddler that they don't know (unless maybe 16ish+) I think you should go. But if it will make your son truly upset then just explain the situation and why, there's no point in lying.

Were they actually saying he couldn't play? If not then why not encourage your ds to play with all of the children?

Thanks all. Seen some good sense from you lovely ladies.
Will decide what to do tomorrow I think.