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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pnd...

21 replies

PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 07/08/2017 16:09

When did you or someone close to you (family member/health visitor/midwife) etc realise?
Im on day 15 and midwife has just made me book a doctor appointment and to be honest im so glad she has because I know I'm really really not ok.
It's my third baby and partner is saying baby is only two weeks old it could just be low mood/baby blues etc
I hope so.
When/what day (if that early?) did you know?

OP posts:
JenNtonic · 07/08/2017 16:16

Sorry you're feeling shitty xx and congratulations on your new baby :-)
I had baby blues about 3 weeks after, lasting for about a month :-/
Gp is ALWAYS a good idea :-) xx

ButtMuncher · 07/08/2017 16:21

I probably had it from before I'd even had my DS, as I was not coping and dissociated a lot (loss of reality). I think I knew by week 2 though that I hadn't the foggiest how to manage my emotions (specifically anxiety). I was just constantly on edge.

Hormones will effect how you see things but at the end of the day if YOU don't feel you are coping it's entirely your right to seek help, and don't let anybody else persuade you otherwise. Common myths that some people seem to believe is 'admitting' you have PND causes social services to get involved and I found that my partner tried to convince me that all was well because he was scared of the repercussions - social services never got involved and I just had a brilliant MH team that looked after me until I felt able to discharge myself 6 months later.

Wishing you all the best Flowers

Original poster
PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 07/08/2017 16:39

Is it normal to feel scared that this is just how it is now and i will feel this hopeless forever?

OP posts:
ButtMuncher · 07/08/2017 19:42

It's completely normal my love. And although it genuinely feels hopeless right now (and tbh, I think those first few months are a bit baptism by fire, even when you've had kids before they are all so different) it DOES improve. It's ever so scary, all of it, and I wish more was done or said to make women (and men) aware of this post natally rather than the emphasis being on how perfect and wonderful the whole experience is. It very often isnt.

Would you like to talk about how you feel - do you have any specific anxieties you feel writing down may help us debunk or unpack for you best we can? I'm listening Flowers

mellongoose · 07/08/2017 19:52

I lost it when I was alone in a car park. She was 8.5 months old. I sat in the driver's seat and I couldn't stop crying. All I wanted was to have an accident - nothing too bad, but something that would put me out of action for a bit so someone else could take the lead and let me rest. Confused I didn't dare admit that to anyone.

Then the penny dropped. I was diagnosed the next day.

Please be kind to yourself. Ask for help from family and friends so that you can get some good chunks of sleep Flowers Wishing you love and energy.

AIMGA · 07/08/2017 19:53

I have definitely suffered pre natal and post natal depression with DC3...not sure when exactly I realised.

I think 'baby blues' is a tricky concept - I said for about three months "oh it's just baby blues'"

I'm following this thread with interest as DS is 9 months and I still have days of feeling desperately unhappy.. although they are getting less and less frequent now.

Flowers Op..I'm glad your midwife has been supportive. Be kind to yourself Smile

ButtMuncher · 07/08/2017 19:54

Sorry on a side note I was convinced I'd never ever move on from how disappointed I was - I failed with BF, I didn't bond, I had a traumatic birth and experience (section itself was peaceful but aftercare was not great) and I was so upset that I'd taken this massive leap of faith with something as important as having a child and I loathed it. I loved my son but I loathed being a mum to begin with as I was so disorientated by it all.

AIMGA · 07/08/2017 19:56

Yes Mellon I'm due an op in the next few months and was properly disappointed that I was going to be discharged on the same day. I would just like a break from my life.....

Louiselouie0890 · 07/08/2017 22:07

About day 6 OH dragged me to the doctors.

Original poster
PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 07/08/2017 22:58

Thankyou all for replying.
buttmuncher im finding it hard to pin point it at the moment its mostly overwhelming feeling of sleep deprivation/ stress/anxiety/guilt/responsibility etc
Just generally feel so so anxious like a tonne of bricks are crushing my chest and like hopelessness that it will never be ok or happy again and that i will have to pretend forever to be happy and enjoying life.
I feel numb to any joy.

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 07/08/2017 22:59

So sorry I must sound like a real doom and gloom

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 07/08/2017 23:43

With dc1 it was when he was 8 weeks old. I asked the HV when baby blues was supposed to go away because I still had it. With dc2 and dc3 I got help much earlier, at about 3 weeks after the birth. With dc4 I phoned the gp when he was 2 weeks old and with dc5 the midwives called the obstetric registrar while we were still in hospital because I was crying all the time.

Spuddington · 07/08/2017 23:44

You sound like you have PND but it won't be forever.

I knew something was wrong but my midwife dismissed it as baby blues. I wanted to kill myself and DH called my health visitor. She dismissed me at first.

In the end it was MN who realised when I posted.

You will get through this.

AIMGA · 08/08/2017 12:57

I felt exactly the same pumpernickel .... You will get through it and feel normal again FlowersCakeSmile

Original poster
PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 08/08/2017 19:31

Im seriously struggling with sleep deprivation and a naughty toddler...i am getting no rest or sleep...i cant do this for much longer. What do i do?

OP posts:
AIMGA · 08/08/2017 20:31

You can do this op!! Have you been to GP?

You must look after yourself. Read this post -lulastic.co.uk/parenting/60-everyday-acts-self-care-busy-parents/

Go to bed when your kids do and ask DP to do the evening tidy up so you can wake up to a fresh start tomorrow.

Big hugs, this too shall pass!

Rachie1986 · 08/08/2017 20:40

ellie were you not too scared to have more children when you had pnd? It's put me off having more than 1 and she's 3.5 now!

Dickwad12 · 08/08/2017 23:38

I think I might have PND with my second, 6 months old. I just feel so unmotivated & tired all the time but not sure why. I feel like I'm just existing. I'm not keen on antidepressants, will the GP give me other options?

elliejjtiny · 09/08/2017 20:04

Rachie, I was hoping I wouldn't get it again. With dc2 the midwife and gp told me it would be better than with dc1 if I did get it because I would be monitored closely and not fobbed off with being told it's normal and just baby blues. My youngest is 3 and I'm still taking 150mg sertraline

Rachie1986 · 09/08/2017 20:08

Thanks Ellie

AIMGA · 15/08/2017 09:38

Hope that you are doing okay op

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