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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can someone please help me make a decision about a new job?!

18 replies

BlueNeighbourhood · 07/08/2017 13:42

Hello,

So, last Thursday I went for a job interview. They were so impressed that they offered me a second telephone interview on Friday and by Saturday I was offered the job. And I should be over the moon, but I'm so conflicted!

I work at the moment in a job I dread, as I really dread. Reasons listed below

Sales, I'm not a good salesperson
Work from 8am-5pm. I'm regularly in at 7.30am but frowned upon if I leave anytime before 5.30pm

-Management structure is bad, directors are doing my job. Feel like a child restricted to a strict timetable of what I do and when. Regularly undermined and spoken to like a junior despite being in a Senior role. There is literally no respect there.

On paper I should leave for this new role. It's 9-5 with time back in lieu, flexible working, more money following my probation which is fab. However I feel super bad about accepting. The reason for feeling so bad is kind of because I feel like I have a debt to the managers here for being good and helping me, and for offering me the role in the first place - I just don't think I'm cut out for this type of job. Which in turn makes me think I duped my current employers into offering me this role.

I know this is all gibberish or sounds this way typing it out. All my family are telling me to take the new job, DP says to do whatever makes me happy. But I just feel bad for leaving so soon (8 months) after starting, it's affecting my thinking and thought process. If I didn't have to hand my notice in and face them I could do it, but the thought of doing it terrifies me so much I want to stay to avoid it!

OP posts:

TheEmojiMovieLooksShite · 07/08/2017 13:44

I feel like I have a debt to the managers here for being good and helping me, and for offering me the role in the first place - I just don't think I'm cut out for this type of job. Which in turn makes me think I duped my current employers into offering me this role

^ Work from 8am-5pm. I'm regularly in at 7.30am but frowned upon if I leave anytime before 5.30pm
-Management structure is bad, directors are doing my job. Feel like a child restricted to a strict timetable of what I do and when. Regularly undermined and spoken to like a junior despite being in a Senior role. There is literally no respect there^

Doesn't sound like you have much to feel grateful for

TheEmojiMovieLooksShite · 07/08/2017 13:45

Italic fail!

It's a very basic question, OP. Will you be happier in your new job than your current one?

If the answer is yes then take it
If the answer is no then don't

There is nothing else to it

andintothefire · 07/08/2017 13:47

Definitely take the new job. You are not doing anybody any favours by staying somewhere you are unhappy and where you don't feel cut out for the role. Let them recruit somebody who will put up with their management style or see it as an opportunity.

Congratulations on the job offer! In a few months' time you won't even be thinking about your previous role and they will have recruited somebody to replace you.

Moanyoldcow · 07/08/2017 13:47

They didn't do you a favour by hiring you - you fulfilled a requirement. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

You dread going to your current job - that means time to leave was a while ago.

Get your formal offer and then hand in your notice positively and happily. You're moving on to better things which is entirely your right.

CoughLaughFart · 07/08/2017 13:47

If you're being treated badly in your current job, do you really owe them anything? Also, if you genuinely feel you're not cut out for that type of work, you're doing them no favours by staying out of gratitude.

saveforthat · 07/08/2017 13:48

Sorry but that's ridiculous. How are you in their debt for being good and helping you. Surely that's there job. Are they the same people who frown if you leave at 5? Take the new job life's too short to be miserable at work

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood · 07/08/2017 13:49

I think you're all totally right. I just want to make sure I do it properly as they have been good to me and offered me an opportunity I wanted. It's just at the time I should've sought out the type of role my new role is offering rather than what I was doing previously.

Thank you. Three replies and my decision is made, I really just hope they understand.

OP posts:

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/08/2017 13:50

It sounds as though you have a bit of low self-esteem to be honest. You earn your wages, you do not owe them anything other than working hard, which it sounds like you do.

We are all responsible for our own careers. So you can stay somewhere that isn't making you happy - your own words are you dread it - or move to the new role.

Nothing to feel guilty about!

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood · 07/08/2017 13:50

I was pulled up by a manager for leaving at 5:10 each day - so I just started staying back. Problem was, I did my work during the day so didn't ever need more time unless it was something urgent. Otherwise I'd have stayed back anyway!

OP posts:

Cath2907 · 07/08/2017 13:51

You owe them nothing and believe me they would get rid of you without a second thought if the business needed to restructure or downsize. I worked for my previous employer for 12 years and was always a model employee going above and beyond. They decided to downsize and I was asked to re-apply for my own job same as everyone else.

The world of work is not about loyalty. The employer does what is best for the company and you do what is best for you.

TAKE THE JOB

WhichJob · 07/08/2017 13:52

This is not a difficult decision at all! I kept waiting for the twist. Hand your notice in and skip on over to your lovely new job!

It doesn't matter if they understand or not, all companies will put their own interests above those of their employees - as shown by the long hours culture at your place - and that means you need to put yourself first as they certainly won't.

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood · 07/08/2017 13:52

Oh I do dread it, I'm on holiday today and I couldn't be happier to be sat with my parents watching cricket!

The difference is amazing, in my role before this one I barely ever took holidays as I loved it so much - I just left to go to this job for genuine progression

OP posts:

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/08/2017 13:53

PS: Forgot to say congrats on the new role! Take the job and be happy!

Original poster

BlueNeighbourhood · 07/08/2017 13:54

Oh I know. It's just I'm that afraid of conflict that I'd rather sometimes stay and be unhappy rather than leave and do myself a favour. I think (and as much as I shouldn't really say this) it's more of a culture in my place of work that men do the job I do, and women do reception and accounts and the like. There's only me from eight who is female and does my job - there is zero respect there from the managers for this. They promoted someone who wasn't ready for it or had management experience who is very much a 40 year old still reliving his years as a club rep, which is the driving factor behind me leaving. I just don't fit in at all as to what everyone else is like there.

OP posts:

TheEmojiMovieLooksShite · 07/08/2017 14:01

I really just hope they understand

There's nothing for them to understand. As long as you follow the correct notice process then it doesn't matter if they are completely baffled and furious to the point of explosion. You are doing what's right for you in your career. Fuck them. As PP has said, they hired you to do a job, not out of the kindness of their hearts.

Why the fuck did you stay back? You should've made it clear that your contract states your working hours are 8am-5pm and you wouldn't be staying a minute later than your were contractually obliged to.

CoughLaughFart · 07/08/2017 14:05

If there is a culture of women not advancing in your workplace, this could also hold you back in the future if you want to progress further.

While they could probably do with hearing how long hours and lack of respect are affecting their staff, if you're already feeling anxious at the thought of resigning, keep it simple and tell them you're grateful for the opportunity, but that the new role suits your circumstances better.

ChildlessMum · 14/08/2017 13:36

I think you have done well to get a new job!!!!!! I think sales is a very, very taxing hard job. You were trained well by people but those people are not exactly helping now. It was part of their job to train you- and you succeeded in passing their expectations. If you are worried about the probation period on new job- leave it coz you have no safety. But if you think you can tackle it- go for new organisation.....one always feels loyalty to those one was managed by and learned from- but there is none, not a second of it. I once was hired in a difficult customer service role, out of retail into headquarters by an amazing director- I was there three months and she moved to a competitor- a blazing competitor- and she had been with the company for yonks.

GO FOR THE OPPORTUNITY if you can handle it.
Also the sheer fact they don't respect your early start is a big red flag and don't respect some flexi hours- hope this helps

Iluvthe80s · 14/08/2017 13:41

Congrats on being offered the job.

Accept the new job
Resign professionally from your current position-you never know who you might bump into in the future and its good to leave somewhere in a positive way
Then look forward to the next step in your career. well done you!

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