AIBU to struggle with mentally ill parent?

[Chronicilly]

Hi,

I'm new to Mumsnet! I'm 27 and I moved home nearly 2 years ago from another part of the country, where I had a great career/life, due to a worsening of my chronic illness. It's not life-threatening but it is life-limiting & causes pain/fatigue/muscle weakness. I moved home because I was no longer well enough to live independently away from any family, work fulltime and look after everything myself.

My mum has a mental illness but has been very stable for 6 years now. When I moved home it was agreed that I would contribute financially (my mum doesn't work) from my parttime job and in exchange she would take care of household stuff.

I'm aware that I can be a selfish person. Having been ill my entire life I've often had to put myself first to avoid doing damage to my body or causing pain. I think this has made it difficult for me to prioritise others' needs.

My mum's MH has taken a dive this year, to the point she was hospitalised for most of July. She's out now but clearly struggling. I'm helping as much as I can but I'm so burnt out from managing everything in her absence (we also have a very energetic 7 month old puppy) that I'm really struggling as well.

AIBU here? I feel like I'm trying as hard as I can and it's just not enough. My mum often needs someone to keep her company which I struggle with when I'm in pain (pratically and emotionally) and I feel really bad about this.

Hi chronic
Aw this must be miserable for both of you :-(
You mentioned that your mum had been stable previously so I'd prob bear in mind that "nothing lasts forever"
Does she have friends that could sit with her for a bit ?? Xx

Hi Jen thanks for replying!

I am trying to keep that in mind! Sadly we're in a bit of a sad situation where outside help is concerned. I have 2 siblings but one is away for the whole of August & one is a 2hr train away and cannot take time off atm. I'd taken this week off unpaid but had pushed my luck a bit with that (and honestly not sure I can afford more!)

My boyfriend also helps but he does shift work and his shifts are difficult this week. Most of her friends don't live in the area, one is very unsympathetic, one also does shift work and one has bad MH herself and I feel it's a bit unfair to ask her!

Meant to add - her CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) came today and is coming tomorrow. She's seeing her Psychiatrist Weds. They're trying to put a Home Support Team in place but I don't know how long it will take.

We're at the point of confiscating and hiding medication. Since her discharge she has gone downhill again v. quickly which is what happened pre-admittance too (I was away that week and she wasn't too bad before I left and needing hospital when I got back)

:-( this sounds hurrendous. Brilliant that you've put things in place for in home help though.
Would you say she needed to actually be back in hospital ? That may help with speeding up the wrap around care so to speak.
My nan was similar and I just used to put an audio book on and sit by her, she didn't mind or care as it was the physical company she needed, not interaction as such. At baseline is she aggressive ? Talkative? Could you engage her in a DVD for example ? Xx