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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To relocate the herd 200 miles for a wee family catch up?

21 replies

SpaceCorpDirective349 · 06/08/2017 21:15

So DH is keen for us to visit DSIL in her first shiny new home for a weekend (or 1 night) in September. She lives in a 2 bed terraced house about 200 miles from us.

When I say "us" I mean 3 DCs (4yrs, 18mo and 3mo) and 2 dogs. And of course all the paraphernalia required e.g. travel cot, buggy etc etc etc.

Just wondered how other MN folk manage in these situations? AIBU to say that whilst DCs are so young such a trip is a logistical nightmare? DH has other siblings that live even further away and we sadly haven't visited them since DC2 was born (they don't have any DCs so usually come to us or PILs) but DH thinks we need to keep things fair and make sure we visit them too.

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 06/08/2017 21:18

Why do the dogs come?

It doesn't sound that far. Only you will know how your kids cope with travel etc.

Glumglowworm · 06/08/2017 21:21

I would check the dogs into kennels or preferably a dog sitter

ineedamoreadultieradult · 06/08/2017 21:24

It doesn't sound too horrific. Put dogs in kennels. You hardly need any clothes etc for yourselves. 3 month old is only on milk so just nappies, clothes and formula/bottles or your boobs. 18 month old will need clothes and nappies and presumably can eat mostly the same as the 4 yr old. 4 yr old just needs clothes and a few toys. It's only 200miles and it's only for one night I'm sure you will cope.

DumbledoresApprentice · 06/08/2017 21:26

Does SIL actually want to try and squeeze two extra adults, two toddlers, two dogs and a baby into her shiny new 2 bed terrace? I live in a relatively spacious 2 bedroomed terrace (neither shiny nor new though) and whilst I would invite a couple to stay or even a couple with one smallish child I wouldn't want to have a family of five and two dogs to stay. It'd be bedlam. Have you actually been invited or is your DP suggesting this, if the latter then you're doing SIL a favour by saying no.

shakemysilliesout · 06/08/2017 21:34

Just send dh with the 4 yr old

stella23 · 06/08/2017 21:37

You can make it work if you want to, would you feel the same if it was your sister?

Dh wants to keep in touch with his family, that's not wrong.

BackforGood · 06/08/2017 21:51

I think it is understandable he wants to see his sister's new home It's understandable to wants to 'go home'. It's understandable his sister wants to invite you. It's not going to be fun, but it's part and parcel of living a long way from your partner's home.
However, I'd leave the dogs at home.

SpaceCorpDirective349 · 06/08/2017 22:20

Thanks for replies.

Of course DH wants to see his family and I do too - we are all close and get on well and see them regularly. We spent the weekend with them all last week, but at PILs house in the next town.

The date has been agreed and so looks like we're going ahead, just need to get my head around it. It was nice of SIL to invite us, but she's a free spirit, a bit happy-go-lucky and wont have considered how chaotic it will be. And of course I don't want to leave any damage in her lovely new home!

DH not keen on leaving the dogs in kennels. They might be able to go to my mums but she lives 100 miles in the other direction...

OP posts:
stella23 · 06/08/2017 23:43

Can you pils have the dogs?

HeddaGarbled · 06/08/2017 23:59

Your H needs to take his share of the logistics, especially since it's him who wants to go and him who doesn't want to use kennels.

3boys3dogshelp · 07/08/2017 00:08

YABU - it's really not a big deal once you get used to doing it. The only way to get used to it is to go. We have family 4 hours away in three different directions so often make similar length journeys and have since our dc were tiny (5/6 weeks old).
I would recommend staying for 2 nights rather than 1 so you actually get a full day there though, otherwise the drive is too tiring to be worth going.
I assume you have a pushchair in the car already. You just need a well stocked changing bag for the journey, books/toys/screen for four year old in the car. Travel cot. Nappies and wipes. Clothes. Plan to set off when you lo would have a nap and they will probably sleep for longer than usual on a motorway drive.

3boys3dogshelp · 07/08/2017 00:11

Dogs will make your life very hard work. E.g. If you need to stop at the services to feed and change children where are the dogs going to go? Can't come inside. Can't leave in a car full of toddler snacks and definitely can't sit in car if it's warm. We have dogs but used to get a house sitter to mind them. Now the kids are older we can take them again but it's still a pita.

eyebrowsonfleek · 07/08/2017 00:11

I'd send dh and the older 2. When my kids were 3 months old, they screamed in car seats so it was super stressful. I'd get dh to FaceTime from SIL house.

ReinettePompadour · 07/08/2017 00:11

I thought you meant a herd of cattle and was going to say YABU but thats clearly not the case. What everyone else said Grin

Mrscropley · 07/08/2017 00:14

Tent in the back garden for dh, ddogs and oldest dc. .
You and other dc all warm and cosy inside!

SpaceCorpDirective349 · 07/08/2017 08:58

3boys yes those were my thoughts about the dogs and the journey, and also staying more than one night - I almost want to stay a week! The journey will take about 4-5 hours taking into account breaks for feeding baby, letting the dogs out and traffic on the m25. We're used to travelling a lot, we regularly stay with mine and the pils but this just feels like the epic of all epic trips - once we get there and unpacked it will be time for bed.

mrscropley I like the idea of DH and I camping in the garden Grin I'm not sure DSIL has much space though, it might just be a courtyard need to check. Also, if 18mo gets up in the night with no stairgates etc might be better if we're in the house.

OP posts:
anon333222111 · 07/08/2017 09:06

200 miles is not far!! We regularly visit DH's family in Scotland! (we r in south of England!)

I'd suggest leaving the dogs with friends/in a kennel/at home with a dog sitter! Then head on your journey! Stay in a hotel near your sil if u want to make everything a bit less stressful! (£29 premier inn room for whole family!)

Turn this into a fun trip away! If the 200 miles seems to far to do in one go with the little one, find a soft play coffee shop or something en pure, to stop at as you go!

Go and enjoy it!

anon333222111 · 07/08/2017 09:06

En route not 'en pure' !!

Crunchymum · 07/08/2017 09:22

Urm is this all for 1 night ? Or was that a typo?

Crunchymum · 07/08/2017 09:22

Even for a weekend it would be pushing it for me. Can DH not just take the older DC?

SpaceCorpDirective349 · 07/08/2017 09:33

Yes crunchy 1 night!

I've asked DH to talk to DSIL about making it 2 nights.

OP posts:
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