To ask how I best support this friend who is marrying a functioning alcoholic who makes her miserable?

[BasinHaircut]

Just that really. I can't say 'what the fuck are you doing, this is a mistake' and I struggle to get excited about the wedding because I don't think it's what is right for her. I also struggle to get on with her fiancé because of the things she tells me (how he treats her).

I think if I am honest it's a psychologically/emotionally abusive relationship but I think that it's unintentional IYSWIM because it's because of alcohol.

I don't know what I'm trying to say really but I'm struggling with this because I need to be there for her but hate it.

Not sure if this is even making sense

Having read the updates, I'd use pp advice to get her to answer questions and I'd be focussing on your possibly very logical idea that she thinks marriage and babies will change his behaviour.

Ask her to look at past history and why she thinks he will suddenly change?

Ask her if the relationship is strong enough to stand the biggest test of having a newborn?

Then more practical - would he stop drinking for the 4-8 weeks before - / after due date until birth to make sure he's available to her??

Would he stop drinking so he can help with night feeds / early mornings?

Would he come home straight from work to relieve her after a day from hell with screaming baby?? Or would he pop in 'just for one'