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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that she's controlling not old?

7 replies

getonthearkunicorn · 06/08/2017 20:17

Currently staying with my DGM (I'm hoping that's the acronym for Grandma) and both my mum, uncle and stepdad have used the excuse of 'she's just old she likes to have her way'
I have 2 boys and they are lovely. She has a great relationship with the eldest and honestly hasn't really bothered to try with DS2 (he's nearly 9 months)
I haven't been out since DS2 was born and I made a plan before we arrived with DGM that she would watch DC whilst I met up with some friends late afternoon. I had been gone 20 minutes when she phoned me to tell me that DS2 wasn't playing ball and I should come back (absolutely fine.) when I came back I found that rather than giving him the food I had left out for him, she was trying to feed him purée which he was refusing to eat and pushing away. She told me that she wasn't going to 'feed the rubbish I had left for him' (it was salmon, rice, veg)
She was feeding him jarred chicken dinner something, we are pescatarian.
I had another plan for lunch mid week which I have cancelled as I don't want to have to ask her to have to babysit DS2 again but she is really nit picking at me, I took them to the park this afternoon and she had the hump because getting back at 5.30pm was far too late for two small children Hmm
I'm also not allowed to get into pyjamas until I am just about to get into bed.
When I discipline DS1 (he behaves appallingly towards me in front of her) she tells me to 'shh' and tells me to not be horrible. She will scoop him up or offer him a mint.
We used to have the best relationship and I really saw her as a close friend and when I expressed how her behaviour was making me feel DM, DU and others they have said 'she's just old, she likes things done her way' AIBU to think this is a really lame excuse?!

OP posts:
Moanyoldcow · 06/08/2017 20:20

Are you my cousin? Mine is identical and it's terrible because I can't talk to her without it sending me into a rage.

No advice but I feel your pain OP.

acapellagirl · 06/08/2017 20:31

YADNBU.

In my experience many older women family or not think they can dominate younger women because they think they won't be told where to get off

Az123 · 06/08/2017 20:34

Oh this could be me, I'm living with mine with my kids, NIGHTMARE! Everything you said and more! I can't do anything right, yanbu x feel your pain 😵 I'm fed up with the same excuse as well x

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 06/08/2017 20:39

time you found somewhere else to live!

Can't the DCs dad look after them if you want to go out? Obviously I don't know how old your grandma is but I wouldn't leave my DC with someone of my grandmas age!

EllieMentry · 06/08/2017 20:39

It has nothing to do with her age! And everything to do with her bad behaviour.

getonthearkunicorn · 06/08/2017 21:41

@PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon luckily we aren't living here just staying here for 2 weeks! We lives a hundred miles away usually.

DC's dad is no longer around sadly so that isn't an option but she's younger than most grandma's! Smile

OP posts:
Catinthecorner · 06/08/2017 22:00

Is it a holiday? Because if it is they are meant to be fun. They next time she does something similar pop your stuff in the car and head home

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