Not invited

[Wants]

AIBU to be a bit upset and hurt that I wasn't invited to a work colleagues baby shower ( baby arrived early so it was more of a meet and greet!) I've just seen pictures of everyone else from work there. I had seen several of them in the last few weeks( term time job) including new mum and nobody said anything about it to me😟
This was after seeing photos last week of a new colleague ( been there 6 mths) round another colleague's house. I've worked with her 10 years and never been invited! Do I sound bitter or am I just not likeable?

That sounds a bit crap, yes.

Does sound harsh, but saved you getting a present

I'd already given a gift when baby was born!

I haven't been invited to three baby showers for work colleagues over recent years, despite others in my team being invited ... I've decided that they consider me not baby shower material Life's too short to start worrying whether I'm liked or not.

That sounds shit. I had a similar thing this week with lots of people from work going to a colleague's wedding and me only finding out afterwards when everyone was discussing how great it was. I hadn't been bothered at not being invited until I started finding out about the others and realised it was just me not asked. I feel childish and petty for even thinking this way but I'm a little hurt and worrying that people don't like me when I thought they did...

That's how I feel, am I really that unlikable? I'm seeing one of the girls who was there tomorrow but I won't say anything! I sent a message to the mum today about maybe getting together, surely she could have said something about me not being there? Anyway I've had a little cry and I'm moving on now.

Does sound a bit shitty but these things are often organised by one of the colleagues, not the mum herself. Maybe this one was organised by someone you're not that close to?

I think you can get on well and be liked for teamworking purposes at work without necessarily making it into a particular friendship/socialising outside work group. Chin up!

I'd second colaaddict - it was probably organised by someone else.
And whilst it's never nice to realise that we're not top choice for other people, try not to include everyone in this net. And I'm sure it's not personal.

I was meeting work colleagues in a pub before an evening reception once. We all mentioned meeting up verbally at some point. I was being a bit lazy (as heavily pregnant so also not looking forward to meeting in a pub and then going to an evening reception ).
Got a message on the day with suggested time and place. Replied yes. When we arrived at the pub it became apparent that one person was left out of this meet up- he was slightly more senior than others.
He noticed we all arrived together, was awkward for a minute. But it wasn't personal I don't think.

A friend from work asked me once if she could stay at my house after our colleague's housewarming party. I desperately tried to pretend I hadn't be decided whether to go yet and would let her know (having not had an invite and having no clue said party was taking place). Two days later I was added to a Facebook event page and an apologetic message went to everyone saying 'I'm so sorry, it seems some people didn't get the invite; no idea how that happened'. It could have been genuine, but I can't help wondering if my friend had seen through my attempts to brazen it out and had tipped the wink to the host.

I'm sorry this happened to you, it does feel crap and hurtful

I get this a lot, I see on Facebook work social events that I've not been invited to or conversations where friends have been somewhere I wasn't even aware of. I rack my brains to think why I'm not included but I end up thinking that I'm boring company or horrible to be around. It really sucks but I've got used to it now. I dont have any advice, I just wanted to say that I know how you feel.

Is it just you who is term-time, or everybody? Just wondering if they left you out as an oversight because you weren't at work?

There are only 8 of us and we have all worked together for a long time. I am one of the senior staff and the other 3 were there. There was a lady who had left last year to have a baby and didn't return, she was there! I had seen one senior member of staff 3 times last week( our children did the same dance workshop), again, nothing mentioned

I was wondering if you were one of the older staff members and only young ones were invited. But your last post clears that up. Its very hard but l definitely would say nothing as only putting yourself in an awkward situation.

Just spent the day with a member of staff, planned last week, and she didn't say anything about yesterday at all which would imply she needed to keep quiet. Ah well. I'm just going to try and forget about it now. Thanks everyone for your support 💕