Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want a good nights sleep

22 replies

Mrsfloss · 06/08/2017 20:07

Really would appreciate some mumsnet wisdom.
I just can sleep in the same room as my husband anymore. He snores, farts, thrashes about. I have always accepted it but I can't carry on. It has been intermittently bad in the past but the last two weeks has me considering divorce.

We have a 2 bed house with our ds (11) we have been taking turns sleeping in bunks with him or on the couch. Both of us sleep better alone in our own bed.

I just don't know what to do, moving or extending not an option.

Has anyone got any solutions, a proper bed I can hide somewhere!

Anyone else got through this without divorce!!

Be gentle I'm exhausted and tearful

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsfloss · 06/08/2017 21:28

Anyone (begs)

OP posts:
Brittbugs80 · 06/08/2017 21:30

Could you have single beds in the same room or is the snoring too loud?

Bed settee in the living room?

Electric blow up bed thingy, they can be really comfy

Has he been the Dr's about snoring?

WLmum · 06/08/2017 21:33

Huge sympathy from me - I have had this very same problem. It is quite a bit better now - look at his diet - is he overweight? Does he like a drink? Is he fit? Improving these things has made a big difference to my dh. Snore strips on his nose have helped too.
For years dh didn't really acknowledge it as a problem and was of the opinion he couldn't help it, but after I was on the verge of killing/divorcing him, he has taken steps to sort it out.
I was also quite brutal in kicking/jabbing him in the night to turn over when he woke me up!
Good luck!

Janika · 06/08/2017 21:35

Yes isn't it lovely to have the bed to yourself! What a treat. It doesn't happen very often here unless I sneak upstairs to bed and leave him sleeping on the sofa. Feel for you but don't know what to suggest.

Daisy17 · 06/08/2017 21:35

Me or DP often sleep in DS1's bottom bunk or the sofa bed downstairs so we both get a good night's sleep. We are both light sleepers and he snores.....is there any reason why you can't just keep doing one or the other?

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 06/08/2017 21:38

Would you have the finances to do a loft conversion and add an extra bedroom?

Original poster
Mrsfloss · 06/08/2017 21:44

No finances. I just think it's disruptive for my son and I just want my own bed.
Like it's really weird to be sleeping on an air bed
I feel like a freak for even thinking like this but I can't take anymore

OP posts:
Daisy17 · 06/08/2017 21:48

Twin beds and earplugs? Boots wax ones are really effective.

Daisy17 · 06/08/2017 21:49

We have also just bought a new memory foam mattress and we disturb each other far less in terms of the wriggling about issues.

Writerwannabe83 · 06/08/2017 21:49

Me and DH used to have separate bedrooms for this exact reason. However, we are now sharing again as we have baby number 2 on the way and need the spare room for the nursery.

We have had to spend many nights apart due to his snoring and we have done the following:

  1. Me sleeping on the floor in DS's bedroom (this is when he had a toddler bed).

  2. DH sleeping on the sofa

  3. Me sleeping on the sofa

  4. Me sleeping on sofa cushions in the playroom.

  5. Me sleeping in DS's toddler bed in the nursery once he'd been moved into a typical single bed.

If DH keeps me up with his snoring now I always just go and hop into DS's bed and spend the night there. He's only three so there's plenty of room for me to squeeze in with him Smile

You have my sympathies OP because sharing a bedroom with a snored is HELL!

outabout · 06/08/2017 21:53

Change the couch to a 'sofa bed' of suitable quality for regular use (many seem to be lousy).
Get the snoring investigated properly.

soupmaker · 06/08/2017 21:56

I threatened to divorce my snoring DH. After DC2 was born he was evicted to the spare room so me and DC2 could sleep between feeds. After refusing to let him back in he went an actually saw his GP and within less than 2 months had his tonsils out. Hey presto no more snoring.

Angeldt · 06/08/2017 22:08

Having a snorer as a bed partner can be bloody exasperating ! My oh is one and I have to use silicone earplugs to block ( as much as it can - not completely 😞) the noise. Also to zonk me out the occasional piriton !

featheryfancy · 06/08/2017 22:32

Is your DH doing anything to tackle the snoring? Unless he's willing to explore all options starting with the GP, weight loss, smoking, drinking ect then it's incredibly selfish behaviour.
I personally couldn't live with someone who was willing to disrupt my sleep every night. The resentment would be overwhelming. Not projecting about selfish bastard ex at all Blush Flowers For you, its incredibly hard.

AsleepAtMyDesk · 06/08/2017 22:37

I have ear plugs in with Bose noise cancelling headphones over the top that are playing white noise from an app. Takes some getting used to but it works.

PosiePootlePerkins · 06/08/2017 22:43

I haven't slept in the same bed as my husband for years due to his snoring! I love him dearly but I need my sleep and I have grown to love the peace and solitude of my own bed. I'm not sure what the solution is in your situation with only two bedrooms, but for heavens sake don't feel guilty about it, it doesn't mean anything about your relationship.

PosiePootlePerkins · 06/08/2017 22:45

Yes to Pps idea of a decent sofa bed in the living room, could that work?

TroysMammy · 06/08/2017 22:51

My OH rolls onto his back and promptly snores. He isn't overweight, doesn't drink or smoke. I only have to tap his shoulder and he goes onto his side and peace resumes. I've told him when we get a cat I'm going to train it in shoulder tapping.

I can't use earplugs because I have hearing loss and wouldn't hear my alarm.

I get my own back with my restless legs and as he works away for 2 full weeks once a month I get the bed to myself, bliss.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 06/08/2017 23:06

I went to a high street audiologist and for £100 he made me a pair of specially moulded and fitted for me ear plugs, like the type musicians wear. They are very comfortable indeed because they are custom made and I can honestly say that they block out EVERYTHING. There could be a man in my bedroom using a pneumatic drill and I wouldn't hear him.

At least try this before making a large purchase.

ilovechocolates · 06/08/2017 23:06

DH snores. Had tonsils out- was better for years. Then it got really bad again. Sent him to GP as I'd diagnosed he had sleep apnoea.
Referred to local hospital. Got CPAP machine. Sounds like when NDN hoovering but I can sleep thru that noise. Can't sleep thru snoring.
Does ur DH have sleep apnoea? Might be worth a trip to the GP.
Feel for u, it's awful

DonaldStott · 06/08/2017 23:13

Yep. I am you Grin

Funny how these things don't bother you when you first get together, but as time goes on, you grow to DETEST it.

My dd sleeps with me. Dh sleeps in her double bed. Also, just got use of a spare room, which was dd's 'computer room', but now she is getting older, we need to reclaim it. She isn't going to want to sleep with me much longer.

I honestly believe, we would be divorced by now if we never changed our sleeping arrangements and to be honest, I can't get my head round the thing of if you marry someone, you HAVE to sleep in the same bed as them every night for the rest of your life. It's weird.

outabout · 06/08/2017 23:27

Not helpful to OP's position but snoring, farting and wriggling. I did the snore, she did the farts and wriggles, 2 rooms has it!
Actually divorce and 2 separate houses is even better.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread