To think you don't watch videos on your phone when you've got a sleeping child in the same room!

[RedStripeHoliday]

Staying over at a siblings house so me, dd and my Dm in the same room. Dd has been a cheeky arse ALL EVENING and finnaly goes to bed at 9pm with me cuddling her to sleep. I'm knackered and fall asleep too. About an hour later dm gets into bed a plays a phone video of another grandchild laughing and babbleing at top volume . I think, ok it's probably an accident and she can't switch it off. She then plays the same video again at top volume . I did a passive aggressive strop and got out of bed to go and sit in the kitchen for a while because I was so frazzled by the whole evening I was almost in tears. Stupid I know.

Dm is so loving and considerate that I just couldn't actually say anything to her face but it's weird behaviour isn't it?

I would just say, "Mum, can you turn that down, please?". Obviously, you were at the end of your rope after a stressful day and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. In future though, it isn't unreasonable to just ask her to turn it down.

It's not unreasonable for her to want to play it, but it IS unreasonable to have the volume up loud enough to wake anyone else up.
Room sharing sucks but everyone should at least try to be considerate of others.

"Children need to get used to sleeping through noise"

Do they? Why?

Plenty of adults I know are light sleepers. It's not because they weren't trained to sleep through noise. It is simply the way they are.

I think that your mum was pretty rude OP. What sort of apology did you get?

it would piss me off too. adults know when you are sharing a bedroom with someone else and they are sleeping you don't play music/turn on tv/loud phone.

cant believe everyone here is saying it is okay to be woken up by someones else messing about on their phone? if dh turned on a video on his phone and woke me up id be raging.

YANBU to be pissed off, but YABU not to have just told her to turn it off as it was keeping you awake.

It would be ok with the screen turned down, on night and using headphones on low volume. Otherwise, no.

You should have just asked her to turn it down. To be honest I think it's weird behaviour that you couldn't just ask something so simple.

'Could you turn that down a bit please, Mum?'

How hard is that?

Hang on - so it didn't actually wake your DD?

YABU.

I agree with you, OP. Everyone in our house uses earphones when they're watching vids or listening to music on their own devices. That way no one else gets disturbed.

Oh dear, when my grandson has a sleepover here I nearly always watch videos on my phone while he is getting to, and then is, sleep. Didn't know this was a no no. Whoops!

Why didn't you just nicely ask her to turn the volume down as you were worried it would wake your child?
Surely by flouncing out in a strop you ran the risk of her carrying on watching with the sound up and your daughter waking anyway?

Because I was tried and stressed out and irrational.

It's horrible for anyone to be suddenly jarringly noisy when someone else has finally collapsed into exhausted sleep.

Watching quiet videos while child falls asleep beside you is very obviously a different thing.

"Hang on - so it didn't actually wake your DD?

YABU."

It woke the OP though. And she has the right to be annoyed about that.

The headline of her post is misleading, that's all.

I think you are being daft. Children need to get used to sleeping through noise

And that was the right time to start was it?

For goodness sake!

I think it is quite weird - If I go into a room where people are sleeping, I would be as quiet as possible - basic courtesy surely ? If I needed something to help me wind down to get to sleep.
I'd quietly read a book.
Playing something loudly when two tired people are sleeping and one has had a difficult time getting the child off to sleep = rude and bizarre.

If your Mum is normally lovely, - I'm guessing she just had a brain fog and forgot she was sharing and not in her own house. Still annoying though.

kurri that's what it is. She said herself she's got too used to living alone. I'm sure it was a brain fog but I would have thought after playing the vid once she'd get the picture.

If DP got into bed and played a video loud enough to wake me I would be pissed off. I'd be even more annoyed if I'd had a stressful night getting the DC to sleep.
Yanbu OP.

YANBU to be pissed off that you were woken by your DM's thoughtlessness, but YABU not have said anything and expect your DM to 'get the picture' . Stomping out and leaving DM still playing the video was going to make it even more likely that DC would wake surely?

Why was she playing a video in bed, even more so when she's sharing a bedroom? Why couldn't she watch noisy stuff downstairs? I think the child's age is irrelevant. If I had gone to bed in a shared bedroom and another adult came in and started watching noisy videos I'd be pissed off too.

YANBU to be annoyed at your DM's inconsideration to play the video at high enough a volume to wake you (and potentially your DD) up.

YABU to have "flounced out" and stewed on it rather than just said "Mum, can you turn that down or go and watch it elsewhere please? It;s loud enough to have woken me up and I don't want DD to wake too."

It's rude, child or adult, to go into a room where people are sleeping and do that. Why couldn't she sit somewhere else?

You're not unreasonable to want her to be quiet or use headphones, that's fair enough. Don't get the passive aggressive flouncing though, "mum can you turn that down?" Or "do you want to borrow headphones?" Would have done the trick.

Sorry pressed send too soon. Meant to add BUT you were only slightly U to flounce given that it's clearly been a very stressful day.
Hope today's better

One of the biggest overreactions ive read about on mn. Honestly OP, get a grip!