Dicks before chicks. Why do women drop their friends?

[mumski]

Here we go again! Close friend has aquired a man after 3 years post divorce wilderness. And low and behold apart from a few guilt phone calls and e mails I haven't actually seen her for weeks - verging on the months.
While she was picking herself up and dusting herself off she vertually lived around my house! I'm not talking a 16 year old here but mid 40's. I'm on a slow burn with this and I suspose I feel hurt/used/flustrated as I know if/when it goes t**s up she will be back on the door step. Then what do I do? Tell her I'm not available, or get the wine and the tissues out? Myself and other friends juggle the partner/friend thing to a reasonable degree. Have tried making a joke of it but to no avail. What to do? Or am I being an idiot?

fair weather friends

i know the type

youll never change her, you just have to accept her for what she is

people come in all guises

You can't do anything. We all have friends like that. I agree with np - you just have to accept her for what she is...

Ah, gie her some slack, it sounds like she's had a tough time of it and is the heady first stages of love. I'd wait a while longer before making an issue of it.

well, she possibly felt she'd never be with anyone again after an emotional battering with divorce. i am sure she cares about you but imagine how happy she is to have found someone after 3 years alone and probably feeling very lonely and unattractive and fearing she'd never be with anyone again.

not to mention finally getting some

she has used you, but not used you, iyswim. she has relied on you and now she is carried away with a romance.

i totally understand how you feel, but if she has until this been a good friend and someone you have valued, don't cut her out over this.

maybe email saying "i haven't seen much of you lately and i miss you, can we get together" instead of joking around, be open and serious and that way she is in no doubt. if she is a friend, she will respond to you.

I have a 2 friends like this.

First one, I didn't hear from for months, despite her being my oldest and dearest friend in the world. Turns out she's shacked up with this guy. They split up, and lo and behold, she's back on the phone moaning every 5 mins.

"nd pal is MALE fgs. He has had a shitty time with women (his wife died 5 years ago, he was only 25. He's had another relationship since that went really sour) He met a girl just before Xmas, and I have hardly seen him or heard from him.

Tbh, I have given up worrying about it. I love these frinds like they are family, so I'll just be there for them if they need me.

I remember what it was like to be in that all consuming early days of a relationship.

ps

get the wine and tissues out, then you can get all the juicy details...

The really annoying thing about it is she was SOOOO scathing when a mutual friend did it to us!
AND she admitted she is only going out with him because he's loaded... but already talking engagement rings and houses... and you know it will go tits up big time at some point. (am I getting this off my chest yet? No!)

but shes in LURRVE

or lust

gets the same reaction

Some girls never learn. You have to keep your girlfriends sweet. They are the ones that are always gonna be there.