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AIBU?

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Aspergers assessment as an adult?!

12 replies

Dumbo412 · 06/08/2017 03:29

How is it done? How can I have one?
Is it worth it? Is there a treatment that helps?
I've known that I have some traits- or quirks as I've called them, but I've never felt the need to look into it, just accepted it was a part of me and I've said unless it starts to impact those around me, I will just keep it to myself.

Well today I realised my husband has harboured the belief that I have Aspergers for the past two years and he's been trying desperately to shield me from everything and anything that may have a negative effect.

anyone with Any kind of answers would be great! Thanks

OP posts:
Treasures · 06/08/2017 04:17

The first thing you do is find out as much as you can about it and then go to your GP and ask for a referral for adult ASD assessment. He/She will ask you what makes you think you have it, and you need to be prepared with the answers. Write it all down and take it with you. Everything you can think of and go back as far as you can, including things you remember from being a child etc. If you're very lucky you'll get a GP who knows something about it.

It varies depending on where you live, but in my area I got referred to a place where I had about an hour's appointment where I had to answer lots of questionnaires and was told I would be put forward for the full assessment and was warned of a long wait.

The waiting list turned out to be 3 years long and the assessment with the clinical psychologist lasted 3 hours without a break (I've heard it varies). If possible they will want to talk to your parents too. Was impossible in my case, so they spoke to my husband instead. I took pages of things I thought were relevant, and old school reports.

I got asked a lot of questions. But they aren't just listening to your answers and writing it down, they're also observing your body language, posture, gestures etc. I had to look through a picture book and make up a story to go with it. Same with the random objects she put on the table and asked me to make up a story about them. Had to mime brushing my teeth. Looked at a 'Where's Wally' type picture and was asked questions about it. She literally wanted to know everything about my entire life. I had 2 meltdowns in those 3 hours. After waiting so long I was extremely stressed out about it. Sitting in a small room with a stranger who I knew was trying to find the real me inside was traumatic. Not everyone has that experience, of course.

Then it took her 7 months to type up a report and diagnosis and send it to me. To be fair, she did only work 2 days a week, but my husband had to do an awful lot of chasing up.

She told me at the start of the assessment that I wouldn't get an Aspergers diagnosis, that if I got diagnosed at all it would be ASD, because Aspergers is included in that diagnosis now.

In my case, when I first read about it and thought "that sounds like me", my husband also said he thought I had it. Husbands/partners spend a lot of time with us and see behaviours that we don't realise we have, I think.

Is it worth it? Yes. Absolutely! There were people who were very skeptical that I could have ASD until I got diagnosed. I feel validated. It feels good to know what I am. That all the things I thought were 'wrong' with me aren't wrong, just different. To have answers as to why this happened or that happened. Everything makes sense now and I can go a lot easier on myself. I have changed because now I ask for help/accommodations when I need them.

Is there a treatment that helps? Not that I know of. I got my diagnosis and never heard from them again. There's very little outside support for adults. There's a wonderful community online though! PM me if you want links.

I hope my post hasn't put you off. My area is notoriously bad for this sort of thing on the NHS. You might be able to go private, or your area might be better. I live 8 miles away from the next county and I know people there who got referred, assessed and diagnosed on the NHS all within a few months!

Sorry this is so long, hope it helps.

ChuffCloud · 06/08/2017 04:58

Interesting question, thanks for the info as this is useful for my DP :)

ProudAS · 06/08/2017 06:41

I went private through the NAS - one of the best things I ever did.

Cailleach666 · 06/08/2017 06:53

My OH has just been diagnosed as ASD, dyspraxic and disgraphic.

This was highlighted by his employers- and they have paid for one to one sessions with a psychologist paid for at work.

The sessions haven't helped one bit.
Other methods that his employers have put in place - different methods to help with report writing, automated reminders to help organise him etc have helped a lot.

bigbuttons · 06/08/2017 06:58

I went to see a go about this. She told me not to bother, that I had functioned perfectly well so far and that it wouldn't help. I feel very cross actually.

Cailleach666 · 06/08/2017 07:03

bigbuttons- I do see your GPs point.

My OH is a fully functioning adult despite his recent diagnosis of learning difficulties.
And his life doesn't alter because of his diagnosis.
He has a degree, is very intelligent, holds a senior position within his company and is a great partner and father.
He does have odd ways, but we love him more for that, not less.

bringonthesunn · 06/08/2017 07:14

Adult ASD diagnoses are not funded in my area and patients are advise to go private

bigbuttons · 06/08/2017 07:37

For me it's about self awareness, putting puzzle pieces together, understanding what makes me tick and why I react as I do and why I have the social difficulties I do.
Having a diagnosis would help me understand me.
The gp said she thought it was highly likely that I did but she thought also that people shouldn't put themselves in boxes.
I would like to know about how to get a private assessment.
One of my dc has started the referral process though camhs and I would say 2 other dc show strong traits. They all stim.

Cailleach666 · 06/08/2017 07:42

bigbuttons- I do see your point.

OH struggles socially, and although he spends his days visiting clients, high level meetings etc, when anything becomes personal or social he finds it very difficult.
He has always tried to find excuses to avoid parties and social events, but now he is happier in himself in doing so.
We attend but keep it short.
His sister married recently, and we attended for the ceremony but then left. She understands him too.

10greenapples · 06/08/2017 09:06

I think I have autism, I always knew there was something different about me but didn't know what or why I felt or acted a certain why. It was only until my dd was diagnosed with autism that it clicked. I wouldn't get diagnosed now though as I don't see the point.

Treasures · 06/08/2017 14:30

bigbuttons Your GP was very wrong to say that to you. A person can appear to function very well on the outside but nobody except you knows how well you're actually functioning. If you would like an assessment, see a different GP. Anyone saying it doesn't help is wrong - it is enormously helpful to know for sure, to be able to understand yourself better as a person. It's not about being put in a box, it's about getting out of the box you've put yourself in and learning who you really are.
The GP I saw laughed at me when I asked for a referral. He said only boys get aspergers. He was very wrong. They don't all know what they're talking about.

bringonthesunn Not everyone can afford to go private. I hope those in your area needing an assessment are also told that they can be referred for out-of-area NHS assessment.

bigbuttons · 06/08/2017 14:51

treasures thanks. My counsellor was similarly amazed at my g.p's attitude. I have been told by camhs that I am also imagining my children's possible asd.
My youngest son functions extremely well, however he has many many traits; he will only wear certain clothes because the have to be the correct texture, and he will wear these one or 2 items endlessly until I can find a replacement he is happy with. He stims with a lego brick, there is ALWAYS one in his hand, tucked in his palm, a 2 bump one for day to help with his ideas and a 4 bump one at night to help him relax. No other types of lego bricks will do.
He does not like wet food. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge about very odd things, the cold war for instance-he is 10. He can tell you exact dates and times things happened way after the event. He hardly has any friends. He is pretty chilled though.

I would like to know about getting a private assessment for me. I don't think I have the patience or energy to fight the NHS. They make me too angry.

Sorry for derailing the thread op.

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