Potty training expectations!

[ohnowhatcanido]

Started potty training DS when he was 2.6 as he started pulling down his pull-up at nursery and copying the other children. All went well and within a few weeks he would reliably wee and poo on the potty when asked to go. We had v few accidents.

He is almost 3 now so we have been out of nappies in the daytime for 3 months.

However he will only really go when we tell him to.

If we leave him he'll rarely (less than 50% of the time) go on his own accord. If we ask him if he needs to go, he just says "no". EVERY time.

I honestly thought and expect that he'd start realising when he needed to go and start saying things like "I need a wee". But he just doesn't. He will be dry all day though so long as we take him at fairly regular intervals.

Are my expectations too high?? Is this nor.al almost 3 year old behavior? What do I do? Just keep telling him to go and assume that eventually it will click? Or do we go right back to basics again?

If he doesn't have accidents and goes regularly when prompted, Eg morning, before leaving house and before bath then he is doing brilliantly.

Many, many three years old are still having accidents.

Also, going to the toilet is dull. At this age he has so much to learn and process, it is understandable that his toilet habits are not the forefront of his mind.

Eventually he will start to know when to go himself but potentially not for a very, very long time.

Don't stress about it and have the regular toilet times and eventually he will do it himself. But not for a while potentially, even infant school children can need reminders.

Thanks. That's sort of my thinking.. but my DH just says after an accident "how does he not know he needs to go, we just asked him!". So I sort of get where he's coming from too.... Maybe he really doesn't know when he needs to go?

When we trained him we just would take.him every half hour, then moving to every hour, then every hour and a half. He can reliably hold it in for over an hour. Generally I take him every 2-3 or if we are going out we go beforehand.

But he has just never said "oh I need a wee!" It's always prompted, or it's an accident!

When we trained him
Sounds like you have been trained not him .

No helpful suggestions, sorry.

Well yes we have been trained to take him. That's for sure. Just not sure if as a result we need to go back to basics or just keep doing what we are doing and assume it will click.

I followed the advice online - or so I thought!

I'm wondering the same - our DD can have dry days, but never asks to go and says no if you ask her. I don't think DD1 was like this.

Quack - how old is she? How long has she been out of nappies?

We never did any 'nappy free' days. Just straight into pants and going at regular intervals. Wondering if this is where we went wrong?

Does he have accidents where he gets wet / soiled? Has he made the connection between "I get this funny feeling and then my pants get wet if I don't go to the toilet first?"

Yes if we don't remind him, he does. He'll come straight to us when he does.

With wee he will often start it and then run to the potty and so half is in his pants and half is in the potty.

Today we spent the afternoon at home and said "if you go all by yourself and have clean pants by bath time then you can have a chocolate biscuit".

After an hour or so, I asked him every 20/30 minutes if he needed to go. He said no every time. Eventually 3.5 hours later and about 10 mins after I'd last asked him, he ran to the potty but he had already done a significant amount in his pants.

In which case he's only just three and he probably doesn't have the sensation to realise, need to go, hold for toilet, go on toilet. He's got the later two if you remind him but not the former.

I really wouldn't worry about it, don't make a big thing about it and just keep taking him every two - three hours, basically every time you go.

Even much, much older children if you ask them say they don't, and then need it five minutes later.

My ds1 was the same. Then he went to school nursery and had an accident every day. He learnt eventually!

My DD is 2.6 and we're 5 weeks into potty training. DD1 was completely potty trained in a week.

My DS is off to school nursery in September too!! He's supposed to be potty trained by then. I guess in many respects he is, provided he is told to go regularly. He never has accidents at his current nursery, just at home!

I'm torn between doing 2/3 nappy pants free days and getting him to recognise the sensation and just riding it out. I had no plans to train him before he turned 3 because I expected he wouldn't be ready. We only did it as we were following his lead!! I guess like a PP said he's still young and he's understood holding on and actually going so he has a good degree of control for his age.

My DD is 3 in November, has been trained since May and will take herself to the toilet/potty if she needs to, or tell us if we're out (and there isn't toilet visible).

She doesn't get the going before you leave the house thing, though! So we'll ask if she needs a wee, she'll say no, then 5 minutes down the road she'll tell us she needs needs a wee!

I'd just keep doing what you're doing. If he stays dry for the day with prompting that's great! I know a lot of boys of 3 that are still in nappies. It will click eventually!