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Original poster

Brave the shave - Macmillan

163 replies

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 05/08/2017 16:12

Macmillan is a fantastic organisation, but I'm a little concerned by the new fundraising campaign. Is encouraging people to shave their heads really going to raise more money than the advertising campaign costs?

It seems a big ask, rather than a 5k run, that ice bucket challenge, or an coffee morning.

Is it just me? I can see it excluding a lot of people (including me) who might otherwise have participated in something like less "extreme", so that's a loss of potential money there is it not?

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 07/08/2017 17:28

I'm sorry for your ordeal and I hope you have a swift and full recovery.

I've not known many people who shaved their heads for charity...the ones I do know of didn't glamourise it in any way at all that I could see. But they were several years ago, so maybe the climate was different then.

hiphopcat · 07/08/2017 17:29

Yeah I won't be shaving my head.

Or doing anything actually.

hiphopcat · 07/08/2017 17:30

Posted too soon!

I think cancer charities get enough help and funds.

I prefer to give my dosh to other charities.

stevie69 · 07/08/2017 17:31

Stevie69 I'm confused and hope I haven't offended you as really didn't mean to. I certainly don't mean I would judge a shaved head woman in the street.

Oh no, nobody's upset me at all. It's just that the thread has opened my eyes a bit. I guess that a significant number of people will think that either (a) I've lost my hair or (b) that I've gone in for this 'brave the shave' thing (which I now see is not widely accepted by those who are going through the trauma of cancer). It is still quite unusual for women to take their hair as short as I do by choice Blush

Because I've shaved my head for years, it never crossed my mind that I could be seen as someone with scant feelings for others. Still, it's all a bit of a non-issue. I know the truth and I don't want to grow it so .....

Sorry, if I came across a bit wounded; that wasn't my intention.

Stevie xxx

stevie69 · 07/08/2017 17:37

When I say 'non-issue', I'm referring purely to what others may think of me and my (lack of) hair. I didn't mean the thread as a whole or the pain and suffering that some MNs are going through. Sorry if that came across badly Blush

PoorYorick · 07/08/2017 17:38

Stevie, if you haven't made any statement about it and are simply going around with a shaved head, I would imagine most people just assume that's how you like to look. I certainly would.

Cantspell2 · 07/08/2017 17:42

Hip hop
Hope you or a loved one never get cancer as then you might find out just how desperately every penny given is needed.

Yes cancer does get a lot but then there are a lot of different cancers and variations within each group all requiring different treatment and different research.

All my dealings with Macmillan have been really good and they do a lot more than nursing. If you don't want to support something then don't but to think they don't need the money or get to much of the pot then imo you are wrong.

stevie69 · 07/08/2017 17:52

Stevie, if you haven't made any statement about it and are simply going around with a shaved head, I would imagine most people just assume that's how you like to look. I certainly would.

Thanks Smile. I have been asked a couple of times if I'm having any treatment. To be honest, I don't mind that; I'm happy to put the record straight. It was the thought of being seen as insulting to people who are genuinely going through treatment that got me contemplating.

You're right, though. Why would anyone think any different? Mind's at rest now. Thank you.

S xxx

wannabestressfree · 07/08/2017 17:54

I am waiting (again) for a round of super chemo for my super tumour. I lost all my hair- well in fairness it fell out in clumps and my friend shaved the rest for me- and it's short and curly now instead of long and straight. I loathe losing it again. And the red angry face I had from huge doses of steroids. I look nothing like me anymore.

I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to go through this. I can't breathe or swallow properly as my lungs are being crushed. I am being 'extended' life wise as surgery is not 'optional' nor 'viable'. I have holes and agonising fistulas everywhere too. I don't want people to shave their heads for me. I think it's wrong. I am all for raising money but this element is focused on the thing I dislike the most. The removal of you..... I realise this is not everyone's view though. It's personal.

gloriawasright · 07/08/2017 17:57

Stevie69
Short hair is awesome ,Iv had everything from a skinhead to a pixie cut .and a long bob at the other end of the scale .
Short hair is stunning and I'm sure your hair is lovely( god I wash mine was dark )and I'm sure nobody has ever thought you are trying to look like you have cancer .
But you probably aren't inviting everyone ( and their phones to capture every minute ) to watch you when you go for a hair cut .
For me , it really is a lot to do with the fun element ,and the ooh look at me ,the being 'brave' ,the fact that it's all about the person being shaved .
And the fact that charity itself has invited people to do this so that cancer sufferers can see they are not alone ,it's the charity that has made this mistake .
Honestly ,no amount of people shaving their heads ,in my name ,would have made me feel less alone .
Probably the opposite in fact,it would only highlighted to me how utterly alone I was ,and that actually there was very little understanding of what I was actually going through .
Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant .and it's not directed at anyone here .
But I felt this way last year when I was bald ,and now it's happening all over again this year ,Macmillan just aren't listening .

TwitterQueen1 · 07/08/2017 17:59

Flowers for you wannabestressfree

krispmallow · 07/08/2017 18:00

Weird one.

I agree with a PP about trivialising what a genuine cancer patient is going through. I had chemo in my late teens and looked FAB with a skin head,long eyelashes and eyebrows but a shiny bald head? Not so much! It screams cancer patient too and made me feel so self conscious. It wasn't a choice either.

It doesn't sit right with me.

stevie69 · 07/08/2017 18:02

gloriawasright—wishing you all my love in your battle against this. I don't know what it's like; I can't begin to know. But I do know that I don't want you going through it and I hope that the day comes soon when you're free of it.

Take care of you.

Stevie xxx

TwitterQueen1 · 07/08/2017 18:06

Gloria
Wot you said ^ with knobs on Wink

Especially about being 'brave'. I hate how that word is bandied around.

Have you explored the Cancer Support Thread here?

gloriawasright · 07/08/2017 18:07

Wannabestressfree
Yes .yes 100%
At a function last year I made a bit of a fuss in refusing to have my photo taken .
I couldn't articulate it to people because I thought they would think I was being silly .
But it's because I wasn't ME anymore .i hated everything about the way I looked ,including my bald head ,which I pretended I was fine about .
I never want to see what I looked like last year .that wasn't me at all .
I still am not me again yet ,but I'm getting there .

BoysofMelody · 07/08/2017 18:08

I would put Macmillan up there with NSPCC for the 'what the fuck do they actually so with all that money?' charity award.

gloriawasright · 07/08/2017 18:13

Thank you stevie69
It is good to feel like people are listening ,and kind words do help .
Thank you twitterqueen1 I will have a look .
I really must learn how to highlight names

Motoko · 07/08/2017 18:20

its the emulating a chemo patient that I find very distasteful .
Promoting loads of fb pictures of people before and after the shave ,all looking so happy .
Adverts all over the place with happy smiley people choosing to shave their heads.
Chemo hair loss isn't a choice ,neither is it painless .and it sure isn't a happy event .

Yep. And when their hair grows back, it will be the same as it was before. I was shocked when my previously straight, brown hair with a scattering of grey, grew back completely grey, with tight curls for the first couple of inches. I looked like an old granny with a perm. I hated it.

As PPs have mentioned, it's also not only head hair that you lose. Whilst it's quite nice to not have to bother shaving your legs or pits, losing nasal hairs means you've constantly got a runny nose, and no eyelashes means your eyes are always watering.

I'm grateful that Macmillan exists. They've helped me. But I do think their choices of themes for their campaigns over the last few years could have been better thought out. The one about "coming to get cancer" as if it was a sentient being and would be scared by people posing like a boxer before getting in the ring to beat cancer into submission, didn't go down well amongst a lot of patients, just like the brave the shave one.

i would prefer it if people raised money by having a coffee morning.

wannabestressfree · 07/08/2017 18:27

Gloria I caught sight of myself in the mirror just before being told I was dying and would be admitted immediately and I didn't recognise myself. I looked like an angry monster.

I look less angry now lol. Dying bit will have to wait as it's not practical at the moment Wink

gloriawasright · 07/08/2017 18:43

Wannabastressfree
I wish you all the very best Flowers
I am quite humbled by how much some of you are coping with all that's thrown at you ,I am actually one of the lucky ones I think .touch wood ,I am well on the road to recovery.
Motoko
That's exactly what my hair came in like .i even said the same words , grey granny curls .they had to go .and the grey too .
I tried for a few months to embrace the grey 😂
I'm back on the dye now .

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/08/2017 18:44

As someone who works with people with cancer I'm well aware that Macmillan isn't always the wonderful organisation it claims to be. Sadly, I have heard too many tales that demonstrate the opposite. Sad

terrylene · 07/08/2017 18:56

I have done the coffee mornings - but not impressed with Macmillan at the sharp end when both MIL and FIL died of cancer Sad

terrylene · 07/08/2017 18:57

And too many chuggers on the doorstep

meadowlark3 · 07/08/2017 19:02

This has been happening for a long time in the US for paediatric cancer research, with an organisation called St Baldrick's. I believe t started as a way for young children to not feel so alone when losing their hair to chemo.

FuzzyCustard · 07/08/2017 19:04

Completely with those eg Arsenic who feels that this campaign trivialises the loss of hair through chemotherapy. And the use of the word "brave" concerns me too...how is it brave to cut your hair off? Try being diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness, for which the only possible treatment is difficult, life changing, debilitating and means you lose your hair (eyebrow, lashes and body hair too) and compromised your whole identity.

Having said that, Macmillan have been absolutely brilliant throughout my husband's cancer. We haven't had a MacM nurse, but have had huge emotional support from them (for free), which the NHS doesn't have time to do as they concentrate on the clinical.

I don't feel I can support this particular campaign, but as an organisation I appreciate all they have done for us, and continue to do.