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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is child abuse

97 replies

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 05/08/2017 13:19

A parent I saw yesterday wheeling a 2 or 3 year old in a buggy. The child was seriously obese. Parent gave said child a can of Pringles to eat on while she shopped as she was whinging.

I think this is grossly unfair on a child as young as this, setting her up for a myriad of health problems. The child is more likely to develop diabetes and probably less likely to take up sports etc as they get older (which is hugely important for personal development imo).

I am aware there are other conditions that can cause children to put on weight, medication, learning difficulties etc (and these are not the scenarios I'm talking about) but other than that, it's the parents responsibility to manage the toddlers weight and activity levels. It's very sad tbh.

OP posts:

CosmicPineapple · 05/08/2017 13:48

But you know nothing about this child or why she is overweight.
So it was a snack pack of pringles not a 30cm tube then?

I agree that parents should encourage and teach DC healthy eating but you cannot judge the parents of this girl.

Starsandwishes · 05/08/2017 13:49

Maybe they cut down from a big tube to a small tube

GahBuggerit · 05/08/2017 13:50

A small tub of pringles is child abuse?

Oh do go away you silly Billy!!

Changerofname987654321 · 05/08/2017 13:50

Think it depends on what flavour Pringles really

^
I love this.

I saw something similar the other and my automatic reaction was to judge. As humans we are preprogrammed to judge but we also have rational thought to realise that we don't know all the facts. In the case I experienced the family were actively trying to stop the child from running around the childrens attraction so he would not be sick which makes he think that this child did have a medical issue.

None of us can claim to be prefect parents or perfect people and I think we should be reflecting on ourselves before we start judging other people without knowing the facts.

Original poster

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 05/08/2017 13:51

A small tub of Pringles is still too many Pringles if your toddler is obese.

OP posts:

MamaHanji · 05/08/2017 13:53

How do you know that it isn't? The point is you will never know that that child doesn't have a hidden illness.

But you will always judge.

👏👏👏

Lunde · 05/08/2017 13:53

One of the mums at nursery used to be judged for her daughter similar things as OP yet had a serious medical condition that required high dose steroids which made her gain weight.

Original poster

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 05/08/2017 13:54

Yes thank you changerofname. Agreed.

I use a buggy for my own 2.5 year old for 'containment' purposes! There was no point to the buggy other than describing the scenario I saw.

OP posts:

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 05/08/2017 13:54

You don't know anything about the child.

Starsandwishes · 05/08/2017 13:54

It's better than the large tube. And how do u know the child will eat them all.

kittytom · 05/08/2017 13:55

Lolling at titbum and Kursk!

You have seen a snapshot of that child's life. I do not think that alone would merit a visit from social services if reported so YABU - it is not necessarily child abuse. There would have to be other factors which couldn't be ascertained from five minutes in a shop.

Don't worry OP, the school nurse will talk to the parents about it when they go to school if the HV isn't already involved and there are no underlying medical issues, which isn't clear.

MeanAger · 05/08/2017 13:56

I am aware there are other conditions that can cause children to put on weight, medication, learning difficulties

So how do you know this particular child doesn't have any medical conditions to cause weight gain?

Urubu · 05/08/2017 13:58

Giving pringles as a snack to overweight toddler, yes I would judge.

GahBuggerit · 05/08/2017 14:00

You're saying giving a child who is overweight a small tub of pringles is child abuse.

It's really not. Not ideal, but abuse it is not.

chocolatemademefat · 05/08/2017 14:01

I agree with you - no matter the flaming you're getting on here there are parents who don't know what children should and shouldn't be having. There are a few seriously overweight children at our local school and other kids talk about what they see them eat at breaks and lunchtimes. And no - I don't know if they all have medical conditions which affect their appetites and general health but I do know every overweight child doesn't have these problems.

Sometimes it's the fault of the parents who provide the wrong food through laziness and feed kids to keep them quiet. We all know it happens so why come on here and blame medical conditions every single time?

Where are all the sensible people who used to be on this site? I'm fed up with the sarcastic accusing remarks posted about every subject. Yes some kids are seriously overweight and parents need to sit up and take notice. Type 2 diabetes has filtered down to children through poor diets - not underlying medical conditions.

CosmicPineapple · 05/08/2017 14:02

Giving pringles as a snack to overweight toddler, yes I would judge.

Yes because judging makes you feel great about yourself

DN is overweight due to the steriods she takes to make her lungs work. But hey its not the life saving meds its the fact DSis has given her an ice cream while at the beach thats caused her to be fat

FoodArtFreak · 05/08/2017 14:02

I think OP is just trying to use the example of this child to illustrate her point rather than actually concerned over this particular child, she has stated she doesn't know if the child in example has any medical conditions etc

I think it's very mean to feed small kids junk continually and even more unkind to allow your children to become obese.

HadronCollider · 05/08/2017 14:04

How do you know the child does not suffer from asthma, finds aerobic excercise difficult, and isn't on high dose steroids?

mumtoboys3 · 05/08/2017 14:06

You are being unreasonable, as well as judgmental. I could tip toe around, seeing both points of view, but lets be honest you saw a larger child and jumped to your own conclusions.

Ummmmgogo · 05/08/2017 14:09

I agree with you. yanbu. surely even if the child has a medical condition which makes her gain weight, feeding her junk and restricting her excersise by keeping her in a buggy is still not a good idea?

i do think that we are better off campaigning for change on a societal level rather than judging individual children. We need to get to a place where not keeping your child at a healthy weight is as shocking as not making them wear a seatbelt in the car.

Original poster

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 05/08/2017 14:09

I should have started a thread on non-medical related childhood obesity. I see where I went wrong now. I think it it's a growing problem though, and not helped by our kids tendency to want screen time and our reluctance to let them play outside with the same freedom we used to in the older generations.

And I agree I judged too rashly.

No, to answer someone's question, I would not judge a parent who fed Pringles to a non-obese child. Treats are fine in moderation (and I absolutely give my kids the odd treat too) but I definitely would not be feeding junk food to a kid who was already overweight (medical issues aside!!!)

OP posts:

Angelh09 · 05/08/2017 14:10

My DD is 99th centipede for height/ weight so she is larger than average however has a healthy balanced diet but I know I would be judged for her being a large child having sweets as a treat. Her same age cousin is smaller and slim fitting perfectly under 50 th centile doesn't matter that her diet is all processed nuggets and chocolate (seriously no fruit or veg as her mum knows she wouldn't like them) because she fits the healthy bmi box. Unbelievable!!
You should never judge a book by its cover as my nana would say.

sourpatchkid · 05/08/2017 14:13

There is a world of difference between "bad parenting" and abuse.

supermoon100 · 05/08/2017 14:15

Hadron, having asthma is no excuse for a child to be fat! Many great athletes have asthma

Angelh09 · 05/08/2017 14:15

Centipede=centile she doesn't have 100 legs, lol

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