AIBU to not want to go out for lunch with him?

[Frogandbear]

My parents are coming over this afternoon and for the first time in a few months we have the opportunity to go out for a few hours without the DC. I was really looking forward to it, looking for somewhere to go for lunch, etc.

This morning DH has been absolutely awful to me. We have a therapist to come in to work with one of our DC for a few hours at the weekend and every single time he goes out of his way to embarrass me. He has what I can only describe as tantrums about everything and nothing, if I get fed up of him and move him aside so I can leave the room he loudly exclaims 'why are you pushing me'. He makes comments really loudly on purpose so she can hear like 'why are you looking at me like that'...blah, blah, blah. It's absolutely ridiculous...it's like he wants her to think he's an absolute idiot. I just can't work it out....

He also did this kind of thing when we were on holiday with my parents and sat on his phone the whole time instead of getting involved with the children or anyone else. When I made a point of saying something, my mum told me that I was always mean to him

It really upsets me because I know this afternoon if I say I don't want to go out for lunch with him to my parents they'll just say I'm being silly and making a fuss. It makes me question whether I am just being silly...

Yes what is he like the rest of the time when there is no audience?

You need to discuss why he does this. This lunch is the perfect time. It sounds like this is the top off the iceberg though.

Purely on the information you've given us, my feeling is that he wants the therapist's attention maybe he even wants her to think he's in an unhappy marriage - possibly because he finds her attractive and has such poor social skills that he thinks she'll pity shag him or want to save him, or maybe it's something to do with the reason your child needs therapy, that he wants you to look like "the bad one" for whatever reason? You know him, what is most likely to be his motivation?

(By the way, even the laziest of men will make the effort for an affair if they want to. I'm not saying he is, just that I wouldn't rely on his laziness to keep him faithful. Other qualities are much stronger motivators - love, loyalty, respect for your partner, etc.)

THere is a possibility though that maybe you are being not the nicest/ treating him differently in front of people which is causing him to react this way. Things like this are rarely all because of one person in a couple.