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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIB an absolute cheapstake?

23 replies

KrayKray00 · 05/08/2017 09:55

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I am skint. Well not skint (bills paid and food in the house) but low money to the point that the rest of my family are doing something else so I am going alone. I have limited myself to what I spend that night too. We are going abroad next week so all the money I do have I am saving for that and I just seem to be chipping away at the spending money.

Anyway, I'm not going to the actual wedding but to the "party" (not sure that's the correct terminology) so I want to take a card but the B and G have asked for money. I have two gift vouchers worth £30 which I have never got round to using WIBU to give these as a wedding gift? They are very universal and can be used in a large number of places.

I feel like a right cheapskate, money isn't always this tight, I start working in September and OH had a hard sales month and with his holiday coming up all money now is spending money (bills are paid) and the summer holidays are a financial drain too.

I just feel like the gift vouchers are better than nothing. I could have used them to buy a gift but they have asked for money instead.

OP posts:

Bluerose27 · 05/08/2017 09:56

I'd give the gift vouchers

LaurieFairyCake · 05/08/2017 09:56

That's a great gift
Go and enjoy

StealthPolarBear · 05/08/2017 09:57

What are the dates on them

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 05/08/2017 09:57

I think it's absolutely fine.

Ninjakittysmells · 05/08/2017 09:57

Think it's fine! Go with the vouchers!

OuchBollocks · 05/08/2017 09:57

Its fine

I don't think its obligatory to give gifts at the evening do.

Why not use one of the vouchers to buy a bottle of fizz at m&s and keep the rest?

fuckingbigbowloffucksoup · 05/08/2017 09:58

Sounds like a plan, is there an expiry date on the gift cards ? as some run out if nothing is spent off them in ages

CockacidalManiac · 05/08/2017 09:58

Check the expiry dates first!

ASDismynormality · 05/08/2017 09:59

Of course it's fine but I think even just a card would be fine for the evening do.

RhinoGirl · 05/08/2017 10:00

I'd definately give the vouchers, aslong as you aren't going to need them yourself. People will understand, we had loads of cards but no gifts/money inside and it really didnt bother us, we were just glad they came and shared our day.

IdentifiesAsASloth · 05/08/2017 10:01

I wouldn't expect a gift off an evening guest. A £10 note in a card at most.

luckylucky24 · 05/08/2017 10:01

Sounds fine to me.

Original poster

KrayKray00 · 05/08/2017 10:02

They are valid till mid next year. I have even asked my Mum and sister if they would like to swap them for cash but they declined. I think I felt unreasonable because I don't know if they are asking for money to go towards a Honeymoon or for life and household items.

I think I always feel oddly about gift vouchers as I remember my lovely aunty 'in law' telling me gift cards are given by people who are too lazy to get an "actual" gift after I gave her two sons gift vouchers for Toys R Us...

OP posts:

hiphopcat · 05/08/2017 10:09

Yeah the vouchers are fine.

Some people think vouchers are a lazy gift. But I think they are a gift that is (usually) given when the person giving doesn't know what to get. (And some people are hard to buy for - especially kids!!!)

At least then the recipient can get what they want with the voucher. When I gave my nephew a GAME voucher for £30, he did cartwheels around the floor! So arseholes to your what your aunt said. Your nephews would have been pleased, trust me.

And enjoy the wedding.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/08/2017 10:10

Are you sure the amount on them is stil as stated? A lot of gift vouchers/cards have small print that they depreciate in value each month after purchase. They may say £30 but could be much less now. Id check online with the specific voucher you have. No good giving '£30' of vouchers now worth £15 and nothing at all a year from now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/08/2017 10:11

No you're not being an absolute cheap skate.

If the money's not there its not there.
If you were a millionaire asking if its okay to regift vouchers, then. Yes you would be a cheap skate, but. It'd still be your privilege what to do with your own money

BrendaSmith56 · 05/08/2017 10:11

You can sell gift vouchers on Ebay by just reducing the price very slightly. You could then give them cash and keep some for yourself.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 05/08/2017 10:29

I'd keep the vouchers and just grab a card and bottle of wine. We don't do gifts for evening only invites and usually decline. It's usually the couples way of getting more from guests for something they don't want to pay for.

Use the vouchers to get something new to take away with you.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 05/08/2017 10:29

Take them the vouchers, that's a great gift.
Have a fab holiday !🌞

ppeatfruit · 05/08/2017 10:34

Blimey some people are weird like your Aunty. I LOVE gift vouchers , I like receiving them and giving them to my family also, who like them, because you can buy what YOU WANT with them rather than getting something you don't want as a gift.

NoodleNinja · 05/08/2017 10:39

Vouchers are fine. Money gifts are expected from those who attend the full wedding and a small token gift is appreciated but not expected from the evening only guests. That's how it is where I live and I think it makes sense.

ferriswheel · 05/08/2017 10:42

I'd buy a new voucher with my voucher. Therefore not get caught out with short expiry.

If it was for somewhere like marks I'd buy fizz with it and keep the change. I'd put a lottery ticket in the card and write an extra nice message in in the card.

And, I wouldn't stay long at the do wasting my holiday money on overpriced booze.

Bluerose27 · 05/08/2017 10:44

I should have said originally - I wouldn't be under pressure to be giving a gift for the evening do at all.

When we got married we certainly weren't expecting a gift, especially from evening do people. I was pleased and surprised to get cards from them to be honest! And we had a late night BBQ so our evening food was perhaps more expensive than sandwiches I've enjoyed at other weddings. I still didn't imagine people would give us presents.

As one pp has mentioned, maybe use the voucher to buy a bottle of bubbly if you really want to bring something

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