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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleep deprivation - hpw do you cope?

29 replies

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 23:49

Seriously, itsgetting me down.

DS (2) goes to sleep at 9, up between 7-8 am. He'll normally wake AT BEST 1.30 and need settling back to sleep. Last night it was midnight, 1.30-3 on and off (I dozed on his floor), 4, 7, 7.30 then u at 8.30.

Im struggling to get to sleep because I expect his cry. Then as Im finally drifting off he cries.

He'll nap everything from 10 mins to 2 hours but generally out the house so no nap for mummy.

How do people cope? What strategies for feeling less like death? Im aware I only have one child and no job so people have it much much rougher- please share your wisdom

OP posts:
neverhadanymarblestolose · 05/08/2017 00:26

Caffeine and sugar keeps me going when either of mine go through poor sleeping patches.
Have you tried reducing or cutting out his naps? My DS is 2 and doesn't nap when he's with me anymore (we cut them out when he just wasn't getting tired at bedtime). Although he still has 30 minute naps at nursery 3 days a week (he'd sleep longer if they just left him, but we've asked them to restrict naps so he sleeps well at night).

Cakescakescakes · 05/08/2017 00:32

Caffeine. Forcing yourself to have a shower and get dressed. Fresh air. It's grim though isn't it.

AntiHop · 05/08/2017 00:35

My nearly 3 year old wakes a couple of times a night and usually sleeps 10/11 hours so not as bad as your ds. I work full time. I basically just feel shit and exhausted permanently. I drink a lot of coffee.

AntiHop · 05/08/2017 00:36

Yy to dropping nap.

NapQueen · 05/08/2017 00:40

Maybe he is overtired? This usually results in broken sleep. Have you tried an earlier night for him?

At bedtime does he go down awake and falls asleep alone? If he is used to you being there tl fall asleep then he wont be able to go back to sleep when he wakes jn the night.

Do you have a partner? If so on the nights he is off work the next day then nights shojld become his duty. Earplugs for those nights!

junebirthdaygirl · 05/08/2017 00:45

The minute he goes to bed jump into bed. Your dp on duty so you wont be listening out. Get good stretch until first wakening at 1.30. I always found that the best rest.

Original poster
MommaGee · 05/08/2017 02:13

Caffeine and sugar are my go to and why I'm also failing to loose weight aha!

On the days he doesn't nap or barely naps he's no better. He's also stubbing round and clumsy from tiredness so he needs that nap still. He's on o2 and has a heart condition so I think he'll need his naps a little longer still.

I do think he's overtired so another reason for keeping naps.

He goes up between 7.30-8 into his cot. Cries and rattles cot if left alone. Will cry until he pukes so that's clearly not good. He used to go down awake and we're desperately trying to leave him still slightly awake to get him back into the habit.

DH doesn't wake easily and I do. House is tiny so even without a monitor I can hear his wake. By time DH has roused, get his hearing aid in and got in there, I can ve in and out. There's no way I can sleep through his cries so even if I rock DH to get up, I don't sleep rid he's quiet again. Tried earplugs previously and they give me ear ache.

I they and sleep as soon as I'm on bed but its like my body goes onto hyper alert. Or I'm so tired I feel sick and have a headache. Or its 4 am and I'm now hungry.

I do get a lie in weekend mornings.

Aaghhhhh that looks like a liSt of excuses .

He's been up and down from midnight. Currently been quiet for 10 minutes so will they sleep.

Sometimes I feel lime he senses me dropping off and wakes.

He also has back molars coming through. Meant to get DH to give bedtime calpol but he was asleep when I remembered.

I'm just gonna have to carry on looking fat, crap and tired aren't I lol

OP posts:
Regressionconfession · 05/08/2017 02:29

Sounds very similar to my 18 month old. I think I'm resigned to it. It's the tossing and turning at this time of night I can't stands. Flowers for you. It does get better and in the meantime there's sugar!

Original poster
MommaGee · 05/08/2017 12:16

Perhaps I should change it to how do cope without putting on weight hahah

Or how do I get to sleep to start with eek

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 05/08/2017 12:31

Its awful, isn't it!
Mine were awake on and off half the night and up for the day by about 5 am at that age. I was working too, don't know how I managed except grim determination!
I'd try being at home for afternoon naps, and then consider having DS to co- sleep, at least for the post 1.30 am slot, at least you wouldn't keep having to get up.

milkjetmum · 05/08/2017 12:38

I gave in and when my toddler wakes up she trots into our room I just pull her into bed with me and go back to sleep. She won the war of sleep training Wink

But seriously, don't sleep on the floor anymore, at least get a mattress down. But I vote surrender to the toddler.

Original poster
MommaGee · 05/08/2017 12:40

He went Co sleep, the o2tube makes it dodgy anyway but also he just moves too much. How do I make him Co sleep. Is gladly surrender!!!!!

OP posts:
user1471459936 · 05/08/2017 12:42

Cosleep. It's the only thing that works in this house.

user1471459936 · 05/08/2017 12:43

Sorry, cross posts. Or in your room but in a cot / bed?

gluteustothemaximus · 05/08/2017 12:45

Have no advice. Just joining in.

My 18 month old is teething really badly. I am tired at work all day (luckily work at home though) - and come nighttime I get insomnia.

Barely getting 2 hours sleep at the moment and usually I am super strong can cope with anything.

This has brought me to my knees.

I look like death warmed up.

(if that isn't enough, he's turning into a nightmare toddler during the day as well. Climbing, getting everywhere - I am beat. A tiny 1 year old has beaten me)

Am eating too much crap in the day to stay alive.

Sad
neverhadanymarblestolose · 05/08/2017 13:15

I have no experience of a child on O2, but wondering if the noise (if there is any) or his tubes are waking him? Might be worth asking his consultant for advice or change of equipment to see if that helps him sleep better?

ittakes2 · 05/08/2017 13:27

My son didn't sleep through the night until 4.5 years old - the only thing that solved it was I put a queen sized bed in his room and I put him to sleep in this (with kid barrier) and then when I went to bed I slept in the queen sized bed with him. Queen sized so he had more room to wiggle around without kicking me. Eventually he started sleeping through the night as when he woke I was able to comfort him quickly. And eventually I was able to move myself out of his room (although his twin sister took my place so they slept in the queen sided bed together until they were 8!) my son is 11 and he still wakes up at 6am and crawls in between my hubby and I and goes back to sleep. I think he just likes having company.

Original poster
MommaGee · 05/08/2017 16:59

neverhadanymarblestolose machine is downstairs so no noise from that, he's always been on o2 so any feel from that is normalized now. There's certainly no alternative.

Yay we can form a wide awake but look like death group for 3 am!!!

OP posts:
AntiHop · 05/08/2017 20:59

It will get better. I promise. Flowers

LalaLeona · 05/08/2017 21:13

The back molars have a lot to answer for!! Once they're though you might see a real difference. My son's sleep goes to pot for 6 weeks at a time when he's teething. Good luck.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 05/08/2017 21:34

I haven't seen all the replies so apologies if I repeat.
Number 1 child was a hideous sleeper. I tried caffeine/sugar and powering through and it sucked. Human zombie...i had migraines, was constantly ill and run down.
This time around is not soo bad, he is a little bit better.
What I find really helps is

  1. i dont check the clock at all through the night. If we wake once or 20 times it is how it is. It is purely psychological but I think it makes a massive difference to how you view it.
  2. I have one nice strong coffee in the morning to give me an initial hit but any more makes me jitter.
  3. drink plenty of water..basically stay well hydrated.
  4. eat fruit. If I find Im flagging I have an apple or a banana.
  5. Fresh air. On the worst days when the last thing i want to do is drag my sorry ass out, I have child 1 and a big dog to motivate me into getting outside for a blast of air. I always feel better after.
  6. Always find 5 minutes for a jump in the shower. You might feel terrible but you'll always feel better fresh! You have my sympathies, it fucking sucks. Child 1 was 6 1/2 before I got a full nights sleep. Why am I doing it again....GrinWink?
BlackberryandNettle · 05/08/2017 21:41

Only suggestion would be an earlier bedtime so that you get an evening. Most 2 year olds I know are in bed by 7. I find I can just about drag myself through to 7, however tired as there is then at least a brief downtime

chunkychipmonk · 05/08/2017 21:49

You could try contacting the Children's Sleep Charity. They use gentle sleep methods to improve children's sleep and it usually takes 2 weeks to see a change

stella23 · 05/08/2017 21:53

Do you know what wakes him up?

Have you tried

  1. having a mattress on the floor next to the cot, so you can at least doze and if you fall asleep then just stay there

  2. don't clock watch, it makes it worse, used to make me anxious about how much sleep I wasn't getting, so made it harder to sleep.

  3. does he have a comforter?

  4. story cd's

I put on so much weight, will all stemsnfrom being tired.

needpolldeedpoll · 05/08/2017 21:53

between my two Im up hourly, ssometimes baby has a middle of the night party for a few hours too. Im beyond broken, im absolutely the worst version of myself, absolutely everything I dont want to be as a mum and no break in sight!