To wonder why friendships don't work out

[Poisongirl81]

I'm wondering why all my friendships seem to have gone. To be fair I am very depressed probably not amazing convo but I am nice...i think if a little shy. I don't know...i used to have friends but they moved away....i am probably slightly awkward due to my depression....i am very unconfident and won't put myself out there. I just want a few friends.

I have similar.... but i do have a few long term friends who are good in small doses.
I just have decided that lots of friends are overrated.

Hi....thanks...i agree it's quality over quantity. It just seems the only few people in my life I've had a proper friendship with have moved away. I'm very unconfident more as I get older and find it hard to start a friendship. I was completely neglected as a child.. .it might sound weird but no one has really shown me how to do this.....😒

Read this my lovely.

www.considerthismoment.com/reason-season-lifetime/

Some friends are here for a reason, some friends are here for a season. Most of the time, they are here when we need them, and sometimes go when we don't need them anymore. Like Nanny McPhee.

It can be tough when you have none though.

I have a mixture of stories of friends I had for a short while who I loved and who disappeared after a few months, who I still think about at least once a week, and who fill my head with lovely memories.

And then there are friends who are still around, who get on my nerves half the time, and who I dread seeing because they just moan.

Then there are a few friends whose company I enjoy and see every few weeks.

I also have 2 friends who I have known since childhood, who live 20 to 40 miles away, who I see only every 4 months, but I know we would be there for each other if we needed it.

Upshot is though that friends can be a blessing, and a curse, and I am sorry you are feeling this way. But I am sure someone will come into your life soon...

Maybe try hobby groups? Local facebook groups,

The 'very depressed' and 'won't put myself out there' probably doesn't help.

1. Sort the depression. Therapy. Meds. Identify if something's wrong in your life. Plan how to fix it.

1. Go to places with people. Art class. Music. Language. Zumba. Smile. Ask if they've been coming long. Be brave.

I've been friends with my best friend for 53 years and while our friendship is constant, others come and go through life.

My friendships never last longer than a couple of years or when the thing that united us (ie work, hobby etc) is no longer there.

I think it probably takes more effort than I give.

Hello lovely ladies thank you for taking the time to reply to my thread. I am taking meds and waiting for CBT. I don't know what's happened since my 30s but I've gone shy and quite disinterested in much...i just don't feel confident any more like I used to. I have got used to being friendless.. .no I have one friend but she's studying mental health and probably feels sorry for me. She is lovely but not really much in common.

I am sad about the people I liked moving away. I have had other friends in the past but they have ignored me after a while so I have kind of given up.

You get out what you put in with friendships. I'm not saying that as a dig, I don't have many close friendships. I'm part of a group of long time friends but I'm definitely on the outside. I'm a nice kind person but being a good friend does not come naturally to me.

I know how you feel (sort of) I had 2 best friends, one for 15 years and the other for 10. I came to a realisation after a silly argument that they weren't ever my friends. I've had 'good friends' come and go but never many people I've felt I can truly be myself around if that makes sense? I have social anxiety so I just about make it to work, let alone actually forcing myself to start a new hobby! I don't have any advice unfortunately but know you're not alone!

I find myself similarly friendless at the moment. Combination of things, leaving work, friends moving, lost touch, illness preventing me getting out and about more.
It's hard.
But people do come in and out of your life, I'm sure we won't be friendless forever. If that helps at all.