I'm unsure if I'm justified to be hurt or if I'm being cruel and unfeeling. I've known my friend for about 5 years. For the past year and a half or so, she's had depression. I have obviously been doing my best to support her and be there for her, because I care about her and she's important to me. In fact I would say that up until 3 months or so ago I had been taking on too much of her feelings and her worries and I found it quite draining. As a result I've reduced my texts to her, although I still do text her individually and we're also both part of a group chat with a couple of other mutual friends. I also meet up with her every so often, although always at my instigation, and as a group with the other friends.
I've realised recently that I feel our friendship is quite one-sided. She very rarely texts me, and I'm getting tired of being the one trying to initiate contact. Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. My friend can't drive, and when I arrange to see her and for many of our group meetups, she asks me to pick her up and take her home again. I absolutely don't mind that, it's just that this is often the only time I even hear from her, and it feels like it's something she expects me to do rather than something she appreciates. I feel a bit taken for granted. I'm sure she does appreciate it, I just wish she'd express it a bit more. She talks about things she'd like to do together, and often I ask if she'd like to meet up and she seems enthusiastic and I'm pretty sure she genuinely wants to, but when it comes to actually doing it, if I suggest a day that doesn't suit her, she doesn't make the effort to suggest a different day, so it feels like I'm doing all the work to drag it out of her and often we end up not doing anything at all. I'd understand if it was because of her mental health issues, but she goes to the theatre and out for lunch etc with her other friends. She's actually going on holiday with them next week. I just think that actions speak louder than words.
I haven't talked to her about any of this, because I hate conflict and I'm terrible at being assertive and confronting people. I also don't want to upset her, which is what has happened before when I've tried to broach the subject. It's ended up with her putting herself down and me trying to comfort her. It just means that I never actually get the chance to express my concerns and the hurt and resentment just grows.
We used to be so close, and I don't want to lose her because she's been so kind to me. It really upsets me that it feels as though we'd drift apart if I didn't put the effort in. I don't know what to do.