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Original poster

OH and housework (or lack thereof)

15 replies

Chipshopninja · 04/08/2017 21:15

Bit of context...

OH works full time, i work part time to fit in with child care.
I do all the housework during the week. I think this is fine because he works full time and i dont.
He never comes home to a dirty house.

Let me be clear, by housework i mean the basics. Hoover downstairs, empty/fill dishwasher/put a load of washing on and deal with dry washing.
My house is by no means sparkling and i dont need it to be. I just like it to be clean.

At the weekend OH will sometimes.empty and fill the dishwasher.
He will NEVER do any other housework unless i ask him to.
If i ask him and he does it then its like he wants me to thank him profusely and give him a fucking medal. Its doing my head in!

If i go out for the day with our child the vast majority of the time i come home to the house in the same state i left it (unless ive specifically asked)

Anyway. He was off work today because he is going away for the weekend. I have been ill with stomach bug last 2 days and my very hairy dog has decided its time to shed the majority of his hair.

This morning the carpet looked like a hairy mess and you could smell dog. I asked if he would mind hoovering before he went away for the weekend. He said no because he had already had a shower and wished id have asked him earlier. I said i shouldnt have to ask.
He then suggested i leave the hoovering because it will need doing sunday (by me!) anyway.

Then he left...

Seriously is this normal/acceptable??!

Its really getting to me and im raising a child who i dont want to grow up thinking we live in the 1950s

Currently on the prosecco and venting sorry!

OP posts:
thatdearoctopus · 04/08/2017 21:21

He couldn't hoover because he'd just had a shower? Shock

Have I missed a memo or something? Is this a thing now?

Original poster
Chipshopninja · 04/08/2017 21:26

Its a sweating thing...

OP posts:
Pollydonia · 04/08/2017 21:28

He is a lazy arse. Question is what are you going to do ?

SpottedGingham · 04/08/2017 21:29

He couldn't hoover as he'd showered? Hmm

You work part time to reduce the childcare costs yet he can't even share the housework load? That'd be his skiddy pants back in the wash basket and meals for me & dc only until he perked up his ideas.

It's not 1950!

Original poster
Chipshopninja · 04/08/2017 21:48

If i talk to him about it then it will turn into an argument. I will come out of it feeling completely unreasonable because that is what always happens

OP posts:
Original poster
Chipshopninja · 04/08/2017 22:35

Maybe i should just suck it up and accept that this is how it will be

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 04/08/2017 22:40

I kind of get the sweating thing, I did downstairs earlier, moved all the furniture and I as absolutely dripping by the end of it. However, show him this OP and tell him you should not have to be asking as though it's a massive fucking favour. He lives there too.

C0untDucku1a · 04/08/2017 22:40

Sweating? From hoovering? Is he very overweight?

LaurieFairyCake · 04/08/2017 22:43

My dh is very slim and fit. He does all his chores including hoovering before showers.

The important thing here is not the timing but the fact the fucker needs to do his fair share.

CowPatRoberts · 04/08/2017 22:43

No, not normal.

Read this mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

BarbarianMum · 04/08/2017 22:45

Maybe you should just suck it up, do it all and grow ever more resentful as the years go by. Alternatively you could insist on discussing this with him and tell him to drop the frankly crap and totally transparent ploy of making a big fuss every time he's challenged to make you back off.

GreenTulips · 04/08/2017 22:46

Seriously - tell him to sod off!!

Sonwhens your weekend away? Spain's a good bet

Original poster
Chipshopninja · 04/08/2017 23:05

Green tulips i would like to know that too. This is the thirs one this year. Im tempted to just go check into a hotel for 2 days to be honest

OP posts:
Categoric · 04/08/2017 23:12

Please don't suck it up. Work out how much free time you both have and even it up. The days you are home with the DC have a main meal at lunch and a light snack for supper. Do not make anything else for him, he can share your snack or cook for himself. If you cannot do the housework without breaking into your free time, stop doing things for him such as washing and ironing for him. Take yourself out of the house and allow him to look after his own children. Be smiley and pleasant about it. Just say that by the time you have done all the other housework, you have run out of time and need a bit of downtime for yourself. He has it for himself, so he must understand?

Chewiecat · 05/08/2017 07:23

I'm on maternity leave now so kinda a sahm. My DH still does chores - dishwasher, laundry, clean kitchen & bathroom, bins. He does it without me asking.

I do all the baby stuff, feeds, bath, naps, etc and cooking.

It's bloody tiring looking after children and your DH needs to pitch in and do his fair share

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