AIBU to disagree about housewarming party

[Triflingjelly]

Sorry in advance for the length of post but I have a real dilemma and don't want to dripfeed.
DH and I are moving into our forever home on Wednesday, made possible by the generosity of my DAunt (gift of money ensured move to house large enough to accommodate DAunt and or DMIL if they ever needed care.) DAunt wants to return to own home to die. DAunt is my only blood family and I am the same for DAunt - my DM died when I was very small, DD when early 20s and DB before I was born - DAunt and I are therefore very close.
Three weeks ago my DAunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I have divided my time between hospital visiting, her home and managing her affairs. (Lucky enough to be on extended sabbatical from work to enable this). DH has taken up all the slack on packing up the house and I don't underestimate how much effort this has involved for him.

Have just got home to find DH wants to discuss housewarming we'd originally planned for 2nd Sept. He is assuming it's still going ahead and that I'm being unreasonable in this being the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. My immediate reaction is that it feels really crass to be planning this when DAunt is so ill. Thanks so much in advance for any thoughts you might have.

You poor thing, you've a tough time going on. And no you're totally not being unreasonable not wanting to party at the moment! He's being an insensitive, unthoughtful arse! Yes, well done him for sorting the house out etc, but he just spectacularly binned all his brownie points!!

Tell him perhaps you will think about a Xmas/new year party instead, but right now you're (quite rightly) not in a party mood.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much and that your aunt is unwell.

Depends, is your dh usually very considerate?

Thanks @honeyroar. I know all this is also affecting DH but he believes in the show must go on. Ah well!

Wtf? It's a bloody housewarming, not a wedding! It's hardly a big deal to put it off a while.

He's fucking selfish. I'm really upset for you.

Thanks @ferriswheel he is usually very considerate but is concerned we will miss an opportunity to connect with new neighbours and stay in touch with current neighbours. (We're moving locally.)

YANBU now is not the time to plan a party, your DH needs to cop on. You can have a party at a more appropriate time, I cannot see how this is even an issue once you'd said you weren't up to it just now. Look after yourself and I am sorry about your lovely Aunt x

Thanks for the flowers, Koala.

Have you been given any indication of her life expectancy OP?

Perhaps he thinks it will be a good distraction for you. You have a lot on your plate and perhaps he thinks you could do with a bit of fun at this horrible time? Perhaps he's right?
You need to talk to him

He can organise and host under the circumstances

So sorry for you op . I think that honeyroar had a good idea, have an xmas or New Years party instead. Sending unmumsnetty hugs your way

I'm going to take a different opinion- maybe having a night to destress might do you the world of good? Provided he does the setting/cleaning up!

We lost my SM last year to cancer.

Life must go on. For everyone. Don't fall into the trap of allowing cancer to become your life.
Let him take control but don't forbid yourself from being happy and don't punish those around you for wanting to carry on.
If possible ask your Aunt to join you but obviously at her own pace.
Those are the memories you'll remember.