DH being selfish or am I just pregnant and hormonal?

[PumpkinSpiceEverything]

DH works 6 day weeks alternate weeks. Last weekend he spent 1 day with me/toddler and 1 day driving several hours each way to surprise MIL for her bday.

This week he's been working particularly late hours but still managed to go play 5-a-side after work until 10pm last night. Today he knows I've been making a big dinner and insists that he NEEDS "me" time so would like to stop at the pub on the way home (he hardly ever drinks).

This is one of his 6-day weeks, meaning he has work tomorrow (Saturday) and has mentioned he'd really like to go to a football game on Sunday.

I pointed out that I'd enjoy if he spent some time with his family or myself, because I'm feeling particularly burnt out being home alone with our rambunctious 18MO and heavily pregnant, with pretty much no social interaction for the past 2 weeks because none of our normal play groups are on in school holidays and my closest friend where we live has gone on holiday.

He thinks I'm being a bitch, simply put, said "I don't want to talk about it anymore" (meaning "I'll do what I want" like a bloody toddler) and has stopped replying to my texts.

Anyway I'm off the to get DD ready for bed but would love to hear an outside opinion before I go insane with rage, because maybe I am just being pregnant and a total raving bitch moody.

Meant to say "teenager" not toddler, in the "I'll do what I want" bit. Tired and ragey = mistakes on my part lol.

The only mistake you have made was letting him come back from mil house. .

Regardless of who is being unreasonable, stopping replying to your texts and ignoring you while he does what he wants is not on.

Can you sit down and talk this through calmly- not tonight- explain to him how you are feeling? And try and listen to him too?

It's not much but I don't know what else to suggest I'm afraid.

Go AWOL on Sunday and don't answer his texts. Because you need some "me time". (You do by the way).

YANBU. He needs to grow up and act like a husband, equal partner, and father and not a whiny man child with no responsibilities besides work.

Not replying to texts is childish unless he's trying to avoid an argument.

If he has to work six days a week, wanting a bit of down time on his day off isn't that much to ask. You have all day every day free to come and go as you please but he's restricted as he has to work. Should that mean he never gets to do anything? If roles were reversed would you be happy if he said you couldn't pursue hobbies or visit your mum?

I read threads like this and genuinely can't believe men like this exist. Seriously. Their selfishness is beyond my comprehension. YANBU at all.

So in a week he's had two evenings out? Is that usual? Do you go out on evenings or would he be ok with it, if you wanted to? When he's home his he spending time with your dc and helping out?

He's being immature not answering his phone. But I don't think he's wrong to want down time and I don't think going to see his mum is a bad thing, did he not take your dc though? My bf's mums first question would be where's dd.
Is the football a one off or a regular thing?

I do get that it's difficult though, my bf is working away mon-fri so we only have the weekend to fit everything in. And he's had had a few things on recently, birthday nights out, stag do's, gigs (he's in a band) and it does feel a bit like we've hardly seen him. It's not usually so unbalanced though, so I don't mind and he knows I'm owed some major me time!
If it's all the time it's not on.

I agree with honeylulu Be up early on Sunday and leave him to look after your DD. Go and treat yourself, looking after an 18 month old is hard even when you're not pregnant.

He's a selfish douchebag.

Let him go to football and as soon as he comes home say your going out for a few hours for me time!

Tell him you need me time and are spending Sunday at a spa. He's being a nob

This is not your fault. Do NOT blame your hormones.

He's a self entitled bellend.

Tell him to take the toddler with him!

*You have all day every day to come and go as you please
*

Funniest thing I've read today.

With an 18 month old, I can't even go to the loo without tears and tantrums.

Heavily pregnant, with a toddler in tow, I could barely walk, let alone get him into car seat.

So he works 6 days and wants to do something he enjoys with his day off. He needs something in his life besides work. Helping/taking over caring for a toddler as soon as hes out of work doesnt give him any time to wind down destress and have some much needed break.

If taking care of a toddler doesn't give him a break that he needs When is the OPs break? Seeing as she is taking care of the toddler all the time whilst heavily pregnant.

He's being a selfish twat.

YANBU, however I guess overall it depends on whether this week is typical of his behaviour.
By the sounds of it, this week he has had/will have 2 evenings plus his day off out of the house, whereas you have had 24/7 with an 18 month old and little adult interaction. Of course this is not fair! And refusing to answer your texts is childish.

If this is a one-off, and he doesn't normally spend so much time out, then I'd be inclined to let it slide provided you can also have some down-time away from the 18 month old.
Last weekend sounds fine to me.

What is the job? There's a reason why he gets these kinds of shifts & he probably needs the downtime. Sounds like he is a good dad and partner during his off days, not sure why you're begrudging him the time he takes for himself during his shift days.

If you don't like being at home all day with the kids you can always take them out, send them to nursery or you know go back to work. You shouldn't be punishing him for doing what he wants to - you could too.