To expect daily contact?

[andshewillbeloved]

From dds dad who is working abroad for the next couple of years. 4 days have passed and not even a text message. We're not together any more but I don't see how he can let a full day pass with our even asking how she is

YABU to expect daily contact. He's your Ex, and your DD is still very young. Tbh considering your circumstances I'd expect once a week perhaps

Yabu. My kids dad hasnt contacted them in 8 months never mind 4 days

You expect contact from your Ex every single day? Christ, yes YABVU. Sounds like you're not over him.

I've been split from DDs dad for 8 years. She's always been 50:50; so she can be with him for up to 2 weeks at a time.

I have never spoken to ex or DD daily. I trust him to parent her, to allow her to remain in contact with me at a frequency he feels is appropriate while she's in his care, and to get in touch with me if needed.

Do you really want your ex calling you up daily, interfering with your parenting? If you think your DC would benefit from daily contact, then you need to tell him that, not criticise him for trusting your judgement!

You're very needy.

I used be an expat started living abroad for work requirement(England). Life was so hectic to start off with, getting used to everything, work, culture, making friends, language, etc,etc.
I was very young and had a fiance in my native country, but couldn't even contact him once a week, I was just too busy and too exhausted.

Is this more about you wanting to hear from him because of residual feelings you hold towards him, OP?

Yabu especially as you're not even together

My ex partner is in the same county and doesn't contact me or the kids every day. Why would he? He knows I would contact him if there was a problem or needed to tell him anything and that the kids phone him if they have anything to tell him. Surely if your dd wasn't ok then you would phone him?

What did you agree before he went?

Daily contact from the NRP? That really isn't the norm. And actually, I would find daily texts asking how the DCs were intrusive and controlling. Presumably he trusts you to get on with looking after your DC and to contact him if there are any issues.

Not from an ex, no. Way OTT.

You need to think about it from the POV of the child based on their age. IMO daily contact can be upsetting in many ways. A child is in their routine, then the absent parent contacts them for a brief period on the phone....this highlights to the child how much they miss that parent and can be quite destabilising. Younger children find it hard to "chat" on the phone as well. I have personal experience of this; in my case I called or video skyped the child in question twice a week whilst they were younger. I honestly felt (based on my perceptions of how the child was during that phone/video contact, and, crucially, at the end of the contact when it was time to say 'goodbye') that was the optimum amount for the child to know I loved them and was thinking of them, but not destabilising their routine. This changed as the child got older and more comfortable with non face-to-face contact and had their own access to social media/phones. In my case, had I done what I wanted I would have called daily. But thinking of the child I made the decision consciously to limit it. Try not to see it as your DC's father not thinking of her. I'm sure you're only acting out of love for your DD, but daily contact may not be a good thing!

Daily contact = no!