To want to do this on my own?

[chocolatebubbles]

I used to visit New York frequently with work but I don't travel now as I've two small children it's gotten harder. I mentioned to OH who travels loads now with his job how I miss the travel and how I used to love pottering around and then heading back to hotel getting take-out and watching trashy tv. Whilst the odd time I'd meet work colleagues for dinner or drinks I used to just enjoy the time on my own.
OH has just told me he's been putting aside some money so that I can go to New York for a few nights before Christmas. I am so excited but when I told my friend she suggested she should come too. The problem is shes no children so doesn't understand needing time out, is big into having mad nights out 2am is early for her and she hates shopping. I really think if she came with me on this trip I wouldn't be able to do half the stuff I really want to do. AIBU to tell her I want to go on my own and do my own thing? I've no interest in sightseeing. I'm quiet comfortable with where il be staying and I'm very familiar with the area.

You may never get the chance to do this again. Do it how you want. You can always do a weekend in Scarborough with her one day!

I agree, be firm and do your own thing.
I go once a year to visit my son and family. For a few days each time I love wandering about doing my own thing and very quickly put off anyone who thinks they might do me a favour and keep me company whilst the family are at work/school!

I went to Glastonbury on my own this year and while I met up with loads of people I could've hung around with, I loved doing my own thing and wandering where I wanted, when I wanted.

Love solo mooching - do it your way!

do it on your own. If you are worried she will buldose you, just be vague about details and 'dh is booking it' (warn dh to withold all information)

I used to love my dictatorship of one travelling days.
I was dreaming only last night of booking myself into a hotel for night with room service and trashy tv!

Go alone! I live in another US city and love heading to NYC for the weekend sans children. Enjoy!

'I am so sorry I gave the impression of inviting you. When I said 'on my own' I really did mean it! Anyhow how's xxxx going'

What Love51 said. Is your friend normally that cheeky?!

YANBU. One absolute rule I have is to be 100% totally selfish about holidays. We spend so much time having to consider others that I insist on only doing things I want to on holiday ( with the exception of when I did things the kids wanted to do). And hats off to your DH for the treat.

God, no. Be ruthless. And good on your OH. What a nice gesture. You owe it to him as well as to yourself to have the exact time you want.

Just don't raise the subject with your friend again and she'll maybe forget it. If she does ask, say "I really just want time on my own. I won't be doing any of the things you like." And don't give her any further info about it.

I would explain to your friend why you want to go on your own. And go on your own. A true friend will totally understand.

And how lovely of your husband to be so considerate.

Have an amazing time.

My dh booked me a weekend away by myself just at a local hotel that had a swimming pool, gym and restaurant. It was AMAZING! I read, watched films, swam, went to the gym and even had a mooch around the local Sainsbury's, all by myself! I did what I wanted, when I wanted.

A few friends wondered how I could do that by myself but honestly i like my own company and being able to do things at my pace and not considering anyone else.

Go by yourself and don't feel pressured.

My sister (21) has just been to New York on her own - her friend offered to go with her but she wanted independence plus time to herself she's had a shitty few years.

I'd just explain you want some 'me' time and enjoy!

Thanks everyone I also don't feel too bad going on my own now as it seems to be more common than I thought travelling away for me time can't wait now :-)

I have started to go away for city breaks on my own since the kids have gotten bigger. I love it. I visit and stay at places i want. I cycle if they have bike schemes. I eat in (vegan) places where i would be looking at sulky faces if my family came with me. Go and enjoy it. Well done to your DH

Tell your DH so she doesn't secretly phone her and organise to go. Tell her you're going solo, sorry, maybe talk about doing a trip with her another time?

Sounds like heaven to me. Go on your own. Please no one but yourself. I would same I'd come with you but..... she won't get it she can't, like someone else said tell her you'll go somewhere with her ( like in about 10 years! )

Go alone!! I love travelling on my own and really look forward to it!

Have fun

Go on your own.

I too used to travel lots, and go out on my own. Meet colleagues, or Delsey dine on the odd occasion.

I would so love to do it again.

I have to drag everyone with me these days 🙄

I totally get how you feel. Im too polite to say anything and I would have an Okish time with someone else. So no please go on your own. That's what you want to do so do it.

Why dont people (in general - not just OP's friend) understand that being alone can be and is so much fun. People seem to assume that everyone wants company all the time. There is no doing anything to please anyone else. Its all what you want to do and when.

Maybe it was just a spur of the moment idea from the friend, and she won't really be bothered about not going.

Your friend just thought "chocolatebubbles going to NYC? Ooh sounds fun!"

She doesn't have children, so she has no idea how precious time to do your own thing is.

Just tell her you'd like to go alone! If she's any kind of friend she won't mind.

Have a fab time! jealous

Don't give her details, she can't come then can she?

I would hate to go alone! But totally respect your wish to go all alone.

Just explain you are going alone because you want to. Then no more details or whatever.