Aibu to want my own life at 31?

[Onedaylikethis3456]

I'm 31 just split with someone.
No kids.
I moved out of my dads house 5 years ago into a rented flat.
Only me and my dad in regards to family.
I've just got the keys to a new place,I told my dad who said just give it up and move back here.
What do you want to move for,your wasting your money,move in here and bring all your stuff here.
I want my own space and eventually meet someone and be able to actually spend time with him and have him over etc (obviously I can't say that to my dad)
Now I've just told him I've got the keys and I'm decorating he started to shout at me saying I'm a stupid kid and no brains and hung up.
I'm nearly 32 why should I live like this.

Sorry about the typos, but I think you get the gist!

I certainly wouldn't even entertain the idea of moving in with someone who spoke to me like that.

You are doing the right thing. Ignore him and enjoy your new place.

If he should ask in the future why you aren't paying him enough attention then tell him bluntly - you aren't a brainless kid, you never were and you don't appreciate the manner in which he spoke to you.

I wonder if he sees your job as moving back home and caring for him? I have a bit of this from my mother (as the unmarried daughter). There is absolutely no chance though.

Are you the same OP who posted a few days ago about your Dad going off one one because of some cauliflower cheese?

I think you need to limit the time you spend with him. I realize that if you are the only family he has then you may feel some responsibility to him and don't want to distance yourself completely. But perhaps limit your contact with him to once or twice a week. If he becomes shouty or overbearing then just leave him to it.

Stay calm and behave in an adult way but don't take any shit. If he says again that you should move back in then I think perhaps the best thing is to laugh and point out that you find it hard enough to put up with his behaviour for a few hours every week o you are hardly going to put yourself in the position of having to put up with it full time. Might give him food for thought.

Oh and I definitely think from his point of view you are the ideal housekeeper and he sees you looking after him in his old age!

My SIL moved back in with her parents. Then my MIL died and SIL developed MH problems as a result (since resolved), left her job and never moved out.

It's now five years later, and SIL has not had a partner or a job since. Still lives there, now approaching 40. She has become FIL's replacement wife - she doesn't work, she cooks and cleans for him, she accompanies him on business trips.

She constantly expresses jealousy that DH is married, and has his own home and DC. She adores DS and frequently says how much she would like children of her own. But she can't seem to see that the main thing preventing her from meeting somebody is the fact that she has no job, and spends most of her spare time with FIL and his friends.

FIL is perfectly happy with the situation as he has a live-in housekeeper and company in the evenings. I expect that when he retires she'll become his carer.

Don't fall into this trap. This was absolutely not her long-term plan when she originally moved home, but after this length of time it would be hard for her to move out again - she'd have trouble finding a job, trouble adjusting to life alone, and guilt re: FIL.

No he isn't lonely,he has a social life,out with friends twice a week,goes to the greyhounds/pubs.
I think he enjoys telling me what to do or thinking that he can.
I'm much more capable than he thinks.
He was telling me you need to ring all around your personal finances changing address etc..I've already sorted the mail re directory so I have a extra 3 months to work through the list starting with most important first.
He still treats me like a child and I'm not.
I want my own life,I feel ready to be a mum.
I feel like I'm capable
I would hate to not have my own place and be stuck in my childhood bedroom with nothing.

Of course you want all those things and can look after yourself! Nobody here doubts it but it sounds like your Dad is trying to make you doubt it! He may not even be doing it consciusly, it might just be something he needs to believe for his own reasons. Don't listen!
I loved some of the suggested responses above, especially 'you brought me up to be independent'. And 'i really love having my own place. ' you could add 'its noro for people my age to have their own home, it's what everyone does if they can afford it'. But don'tget into an argument. Just 'oh dad, ive told you im not doing that/ have got that sorted/know how to do that, to cut him off. And don't listen to him shouting, that's rude and abusive.