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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Attending separate weddings

28 replies

Dippysnowoman · 04/08/2017 12:45

I really don't think iabu but my friend can't believe I've even thought of doing this.
Basically me and dp have been invited to 2 weddings next year on the same day (would you believe it, none at all this year)
Neither are in our home town so can't split the day.
I suggested I go to one (my dear friends daughter) and he goes to the other (his old college pal). Is this really not acceptable?? Have been told it's bad manners or like I'm looking to take someone else instead of dp (I'm not)
Surely it's a perfect compromise?

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 04/08/2017 12:46

Makes sense to me.

PotteringAlong · 04/08/2017 12:46

We've done this a couple of times. DH was best man for one, I went to my best friend from uni's wedding instead. Perfect compromise

Original poster
Dippysnowoman · 04/08/2017 12:52

Thanks. Just seems obvious

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 04/08/2017 12:52

Sounds completely and utterly sensible. Who on earth has "told" you it's anything else? They are morons.

Fantasticmissfoxy · 04/08/2017 12:54

Perfectly sensible - I can't understand couples that can only go to things in a 'pair'

2014newme · 04/08/2017 12:55

We've done this, we each went to a different wedding on same day. Worked well

SisterhoodisPowerful · 04/08/2017 12:56

It sounds an excellent compromise. People do get weird about weddings though. Occasionally the emphasis on tradition results in people acting as though it's the coronation of a medieval king - I don't just mean the bride and groom. There are always stories on here of extended family members behaving like the Queen of Hearts.

Trb17 · 04/08/2017 12:56

Lol of course it's the perfect solution.

Never understood people who think couples can't attend any events alone. Like you're one merged person. Weird!

Go for it OP. It's a good plan.

anniroc · 04/08/2017 12:57

Perfectly sensible, you aren't joined at the hip. Before we had kids DH and I used to sometimes take separate holidays. Some people were agast! Confused

Sciurus83 · 04/08/2017 12:58

Of course it's fine, your friend is strange

Scribblegirl · 04/08/2017 12:58

We've done this. People are mad, it makes perfect sense Confused

Travis1 · 04/08/2017 12:58

Just common sense. Is your friend projecting a bit here?

BeBeatrix · 04/08/2017 12:58

Makes perfect sense. I know couples who've done this, and I don't think anyone's been offended!

Might be worth just mentioning the reason for only one of you going, to each of the hosts.

puddingpen · 04/08/2017 12:59

Yes. My DP and I almost had to do this, but it turns out he had the date of his friend's wrong, so now we just have weddings on two consecutive weekends.

luckylucky24 · 04/08/2017 13:00

I think it is genius! As far as the B&G are concerned, your DP cannot make it so you are attending alone. No biggie.

MiniAlphaBravo · 04/08/2017 13:01

Yes I think this is fine. When I suggested to my dh that he attend his friend's wedding without me though he didn't want to partly because he thought it would look like we had broken up or I didn't like him! This wasn't the case but I guess weddings are considered things to attend in pairs by some....
Your solution seems very sensible to me though.

Mrscropley · 04/08/2017 13:01

Remember to take lots of mental notes to compare gossip the next day!!

Original poster
Dippysnowoman · 04/08/2017 13:11

A resounding yes to that plan then!!
My dp will make no notes at all to compare though...useless😉

OP posts:
MrsXx4 · 04/08/2017 13:15

Yep, me and DH are doing this in September and no one has said they find it odd?!

Hudson10 · 04/08/2017 13:18

Sounds like a perfectly sensible solution to me! That way there's one of you at both weddings, so they're both attended.
What would they rather you do, neither of you go to one?
Ignore. Some people are just weird!

5moreminutes · 04/08/2017 13:22

Nothing wrong with that if you're both OK with being alone at a coupley event where the actual bride/ groom will probably barely have time to speak to you - if DH doesn't want to go alone that may be why. I'd only go to a wedding alone if I knew other people going alone or if I really had to go so as not to cause some stupid family drama over it. I'm very content in my own company if I can read while I eat alone, but hate formal small talk occasions and sitting through a full day wedding where I only knew the people getting married and making small talk with couples all day and evening would be one of the least pleasant ways to spend what usually amounts to a good ten hours that I could think of.

Its not "rude" though, that's ridiculous.

sherbetpips · 04/08/2017 13:24

sounds like a perfectly sensible solution

latedecember1963 · 04/08/2017 13:25

We did this when we had a wedding clash. I was a bridesmaid for a close friend and DH was invited to a colleague's wedding that he wanted to attend as they'd started as trainees together.
I was busy helping the bride during the day so wouldn't actually have spent much time with him anyway. DH's friend was having a small daytime wedding only so DH drove back for my friend's evening reception. Everyone was happy.

ALittleMop · 04/08/2017 13:26

Why wouldn't you?

okeydokeygirl · 04/08/2017 13:28

Sounds fine to me. The only reason it might be rude is if you/DP have already RSVPd and accepted the invitation to one of the weddings for both of you to go, and now you are saying only one will be going and the other person will be going to the second wedding. If both invites received and no RSVP made to either then it seems perfectly acceptable. If you have already RSVPd for both of you to go to one of them then it would be more polite to decline second invite on basis you have already committed to someone else's wedding. I hope this makes sense.