Sleepover

[MemyselfI2]

DS12 has been at a friends for dinner tonight and just phoned to say he's been invited to stay. I said that was fine, did he need anything dropped off. He then said it would be him and the friend home alone until 11pm. At this point I said he couldn't stay.

I think I'm quite influenced by how strict my own upbringing was, so I don't know if AIBU. He does plenty of sleepovers, but never with this friend and I feel a bit rotten.

Yabu, 11 is pretty early, providing they're both sensible kids they'll be fine.

That said, if either of them are the sort to burn the house down then it's probably not a good idea.

I wouldn't leave my 12yo home alone (or with another the same age) until 11pm. Until 9pm maybe.

He's been invited to stay as company for his friend, hasn't he?

I'd be fine with this. I'd possibly be asking for a text at 11 to say that the other DC's parents had actually arrived though.

I'd be fine with it assuming both children are sensible and know the ground rules, what to do in an emergency etc. And I'd want a text saying the parents were back from the parents themselves.

I think I just felt put on the spot that he asked to stay, I agreed, and then the goalposts moved with them being alone. But at least he said.

What happens between 9 and 11 pm that is so dangerous?

I know. I just had that conversation with ex (his dad).

I'm considering changing my mind.

What happens between 9 and 11 pm that is so dangerous?

They have been alone for 2 extra hours.
It is properly night time. Here it is getting dark ~9pm.
They will (should) be in bed, and somehow being alone after bedtime will feel more scary for them.

Would you be able to have his friend at yours for a sleepover tonight so friend won't be lonely indoors and you won't have to worry about them being alone?

If he's sensible, let him stay.

I've picked him up. Next time I spoke to him, they had gone out with friends. I didn't want DS out much later (8.30), but didn't want to dictate when the other boy had to be home.
(According to DS, they don't all have times to be in, others it's 10.00) If they'd still been in the house at that point and staying in, i'd probably have said I had changed my mind.

I wouldn't have been keen on that to be honest . I have a DS the same age xxx