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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU : fuck your pets?

70 replies

DameDoom · 03/08/2017 18:21

I am literally gobsmacked but wonder in my dotage that I am becoming an insular cat lady - well more of one.
I am childless but have two increasingly elderly and doddery cats - they are my babies. Their health problems are minor but like all elderlies they enjoy routine.
Anyway, we are going for 4 nights in the lakes so we can come home if needed (a neighbour will feed and give the odd stroke). I shared this with a friend who was horrified - she has children and told me I was being ridiculous and to go abroad. We always go somewhere hot and usually exotic but I really don't want to leave my vulnerable pets for too long - plus I've never been to the Lakes for a proper holiday.

OP posts:
Marymoosmum14 · 03/08/2017 18:58

Sod your friend, do what's best for you. Old cats don't fair well in a cattery, you are getting the best of both worlds, you get a holiday in a beautiful place without being separated from your fur babies too long. A holiday is a holiday whether in this country or abroad.

iloveeverykindofcat · 03/08/2017 18:59

Next time try this
www.housesittersuk.co.uk/
I've used it several times and always come home to happy cats and the house cleaner than when I left it.

Ceto · 03/08/2017 18:59

To be honest, I do think allowing pets to rule your life choices is a bit ridiculous. If we're going away any length of time, our cat goes into a cattery. I don't think he's too impressed, but it doesn't do him any harm, and he doesn't seem to hold it against us.

Ceto · 03/08/2017 19:00

Did anyone else see the heading and think "I'd rather not, thanks"?

thepumpk1neater · 03/08/2017 19:00

Fur babies is a horrible expression.

I completely agree with you, OP. It is with worry I think about our own dear cat as she, sadly, grows older. We'll all be devastated if and when anything happens to her, she's a great favourite and very much part of the family.

loubar101 · 03/08/2017 19:01

It's none of her business, if that's what you feel most comfortable with then so be it.

My dogs are two of the most important beings in my life, and I do not care if people think it's strange or don't understand it. Nothing pisses me off more than people treating animals like they're some kind of disposable object that have no feelings. Not saying we should treat them like humans but a bit of empathy here and there does not go amiss.

Toddlerteaplease · 03/08/2017 19:02

I hate leaving my two cats when I go on holiday and wish I could take them with me. They either have a cat sitter or went to a cattery this year. But I miss them terribly!

RiversrunWoodville · 03/08/2017 19:04

Our NDNs who have become good friends hadn't been abroad for years before they moved here because of their beloved cat. Once they moved here and I fell in love with her too they knew she would be well looked after so go for a fortnight with daily WhatsApp updates (and now have a second cat). They return the favour and mind my house kitten (the workforce look after the outdoor cats and our dogs with help from NDNS) if we take the odd weekend or a week in summer and return the WhatsApp updates

ConstanceCraving · 03/08/2017 19:04

I clicked on here ready to report this thread!! that me really laugh!

OP yanbu at all. Your friend is a cowbag.

ButchyRestingFace · 03/08/2017 19:05

I would never fuck my pets.

But I do love my fiendishly handsome parrots beyond all distraction.

They are my "fids" (feathered kids), as opposed to "fur babies".

And I wouldn't go swanning off to foreign climes if one of them was old and failing either. Smile

MrsClegane · 03/08/2017 19:05

ignore the "friend" we have planned many holidays around our pets, usually our dog. In the 10 years we had our old dog we went on one abroad holiday in which he went in a kennel, and a weekend away to get married.... The rest of the time we searched out dog-friendly places to stay, then we'd find dog-friendly places to visit. We have been some fab places and seen some fab things...

The lakes are lovely...have a fab time

AliceLutherNeeMorgan · 03/08/2017 19:06

Well - no, YANBU as you are allowed to go on holiday wherever you like.

If you were hankering for a holiday abroad then I'd say maybe YABU but tbh the limiting factor there was introduced years ago (the cats) so it's just a thing no one can do anything about. It's a bit like when people say "well you shouldn't have had two (or four or six) children if you can't manage them" but it's a bit late for that. I hope your cats are ok and I'm sure they'll appreciate not having their routine changed.

I will say though, having been let down by family members on account of pet issues, it does make people realise where they are in the hierarchy. Doesn't sound like it's a problem for you so have a great time in the Lakes!

ChickenVindaloo2 · 03/08/2017 19:09

I adopted a (then) 9 year old cat 2 years ago from the cat rescue.

She's perfectly healthy but I would avoid putting her in a cattery or leaving her for more than a couple of nights if at all possible. When I got her I took the view that I was willing to sacrifice going away for the rest of her life. Not a huge sacrifice as I'm not much one for long or far off holidays anyway.

There's a joke on the internet: I don't put my cat in a cattery just as you don't put your children in an orphanage when you go on holiday.
Having ready too many threads on here about people who rehome at the drop of a hat, it's refreshing to see people who do take their commitment seriously.

Cheers to cats!

KurriKurri · 03/08/2017 19:10

I wouldn't leave my dog in kennels, he will come with me or he will stay with family (but I still wouldn't go anywhere for more than a week and leave him). He's only a puppy so holidays haven't come up yet, but I love him and I would worry about him in kennels to the extent that I would not enjoy my holiday.

Original poster
DameDoom · 03/08/2017 19:12

Donald brother of Davey. Yes, she did say that. She did not say it in an aggressive way at all - just kind of brushing something off as unimportant. My pets are important to me.

OP posts:
13Bastards · 03/08/2017 19:13

I bugger off on foreign holidays and leave my cats with a house sitter because I know they are in good hands.

If one of them was poorly then I would reconsider long haul holidays.

grannytomine · 03/08/2017 19:14

I think fucking your pets is a bit extreme, probably illegal.

WishfulThanking · 03/08/2017 19:14

YABU for the thread title alone

motherinferior · 03/08/2017 19:16

My cats matter to me, but no way would I arrange my holidays around them.

And in all honesty they are not, shall I say, creatures of great emotional complexity.
They're being fed and can have a little kip. Followed by a snack, a snooze, a midnight potter to kill a few small animals, a bit of a ruck with neighbouring cats if they feel like it, and back for a bit more kip. Love my cats but not sure frankly how much I matter to them in the great scheme of things.

MrsPresley · 03/08/2017 19:19

YADNBU...I cancelled my holiday abroad a few years ago as my elderly dog was getting worse.

As it turned out I had to have him out to sleep before DP and DD returned. Had I been with them, my dad would have had to have made the decision, that wouldn't have been fair to my dad.

Or...my dad would've waited till I came home and that definitely wouldn't have been fair to my dog .

I'm glad I was here to be with my boy in his final days!

KurriKurri · 03/08/2017 19:21

I mean look at him for goodness sake - could he BE any cuter ?

AIBU : fuck your pets?
queenofthebucket · 03/08/2017 19:22

i agree with those who have stated you made a commitment to the animal when you took them on as a pet. For the majority of their lives cats give us years of comfort and companionship in return for very little time and money investment. We can go away and feel secure they will be okay with the neighbour etc although they are happy to see us when we come back. It's only fair that we give them the care and time I believe they deserve and appreciate in return when they become old and infirm.

Judydreamsofhorses · 03/08/2017 19:22

I love my cat, but also hate the "fur baby" thing, and people who say I'm "her mum" drive me nuts.

Original poster
DameDoom · 03/08/2017 19:26

Motherinferior I am not so naïve to imagine that I matter a jot to them - that is not the point at all. They are changing and I want them to enjoy what's rest of their 'old lives' before they have to be put to sleep. They are as happy as Larry at the minute and I want that to continue - it's my responsibility.

OP posts:
WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 03/08/2017 19:28

YANBU. I was OK putting my dogs in kennels when they were young, but when my last dog got old I decided that I wouldn't leave him because I was paranoid about him quickly dying when I was away. I'm so glad I kept to that because from being fine to dying was only 2 days. Had I been abroad he might have died in an unfamiliar environment full of strangers, rather than at home on the sofa with me. I figured that was the least I could do for the dear old fella.

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