Is it normal to feel a bit jealous/put out of my SILs pregnancy?

[talonofthehawk]

Please don't roast me to bits.

I feel slightly jealous and put out that my SIL is expecting her 2nd child just two months after our first.
SIL/BIL didn't announce until 4 months.

I feel very silly and guilty. Even a little PFB already.

be honest
is it that you wanted the attention for longer than two months?

It's good to be honest with yourself about why you feel how you feel.

It's not so much about attention
I am NC with my family and have almost nothing to do with DH's.
I've never even met his DB or wife and child.

I was just being pathetic.

I know where you are coming from OP and it's natural to want your child to be a special arrival.

I had it the other way round and their child was due before mine. We'd tried for 4 years, drove down to tell DHs mum and she said oh yeah bil and sil are expecting too. I was a bit disappointed, and like you, we didn't live close enough for the cousins to be friends either.

It's not a feeling that lasts though, because regardless of how many they have, grandchildren are always special to the grandparent and your child will be the most special to you.

In the nicest way YABU, but I understand why you feel this way, and felt the same too.

My DS didn't realise she wanted children until I had my DS, he was born then less than a year later she was pregnant with her DD, who I looked after from the age of 6 weeks to enable her to return to work, then I had my DS, she had another dd, and then I had my DD, all 5 cousins had a lovely childhood growing up together. Its a positive thing, really

My SIL announced her first pregnancy 5 days after my 3rd baby was born. I was 98 percent over the moon for her and 2 percent '' but it was fleeting (I blame it on hormones and have never told a soul I'm until now).

It was unreasonable but harmless.

Just try to be happy for her

I loved that SIL was pregnant soon after I had my baby.

Twice in fact. The kids get on really well.

Plus, I was 24 when I had my first so I'm not sure that's an excuse.
Attention seeking is.

Yes, you're being very silly - put it down to the hormones.

But I can empathise a bit - this is the last bit of attention you will ever get! 😬

I was just being pathetic

Of course you weren't. I think more people than might admit would have a little initial tinge of put-outedness. But you obviously realise it's a bit unreasonable and feel silly about it. It'll wear off.

I found out I was pregnant with my first only a couple of weeks after sil announced 'her' first pregnancy. I was even a bit worried about announcing it!

She was slightly cool with me for a short time, not overtly and not on purpose, but I could tell she was a bit miffed, like I stole her thunder. I didn't mind because I understood it. It wore off. It'll be fine OP.

As I said my sister struggled with infertility and I am probably guessing she was a bit jelous when I announced it 2 months before she even knew she was pregnant.

But I think we are both happy for each other now and having two little ones running around will be the happiest reward.

YANU to feel pangs of jealously now but it will probably pass and hopefully they will be a link between your families. Distance needn't be a barrier to affection. My closest relation when I was growing up was a cousin v close in age to me who lived overseas. We saw each other most summers for a few weeks (not every summer as travel was more expensive then). He was my best friend then and now we are in our late fifties we live just 6 miles apart and he is still my best mate.

I fet similar op. Turns out I really really just want another baby (concious of time ticking) plus my ppd/ppa was making me crave a good pregnancy/non-traumatic birthing with all the instant bonding and easy breastfeeding I missed with my baby boy