To decide not to move house

[ginorwine]

Husband had been told that he was going to have pay cut by 6 k
We then struggled with what to do but agreed in light of this cut and his pressurised job for less pay that we would move to our retirement home . Lots of anxiety about this as didn't want upset dc about to go to uni and older dc possibly not wanting us to move as likes home city
. We sorted this out and found dream cottage .
Our buyers survey was instructed and the day before it was due dh was told that his pay will now be protected for one year . This will mean a better pension . We had to talk overnight as it meant he felt he should stay to get a better pension but that we wd not proceed with the sale / purchase now . Due to speed of this info we did not have time to decide before survey done by our purchaser . Dh is pretty sure that he wants to cancell the sale of out home and sell next year .
I'm not sure . We get daily call s from our buyer at times - how are things ..? Survey today etc and I feel terrible to thknk we have to tell her it's off . I know her quite well .
Should I pay the survey money to her as an apology as we allowed her to have the survey as we simply ran out of time with the news re dh job sit and need to talk ... I feel so guilty - she is a lovely woman and says our house is her dream home .

You can't move house just because you feel bad about upsetting someone!!!

People drop out of buying/selling houses all the time for all kinds of reasons. It's tough but just apologise and try not to feel too bad about it.

This is the risk that every prospective purchaser runs and is part and parcel of buying and selling.

It does sound sensible to delay moving and retiring if the long term benefits are so much better. But presumably also during this year your costs and outgoings in your bigger house will eat up a little of the £6k a year? and are you sure your house will be as saleable in a year? Are house sales strong in your area?

Anyway, you have no doubt made your decision on a sound basis - be apologetic, but you cant' undermine your financial health for fear of upsetting someone.

I speak as someone who has lost properties in this way. Horrible when it happens, but it is never the only 'dream' property.... This 'dream house' business has a lot to answer for!

I would cancel the sale but pay for the survey, personally.

Thanks
She is a lovely woman
Been round for wine
Said can't wait to bring her kids up in the house
I feel so so bad

She is my friends friend too and only lives 2 min away
She will cry I kno and I feel awful
But I do need to hear words of wisdom xx

Test
We did get full asking price and it does worry me but the area is popular .

Wow, this house move has caused a lot of angst for you from start to finish hasn't it?
You can't continue with it just because you feel bad for the purchaser. Yes she'll be upset, but there will be other houses for her. Sounds sensible for you to stay put.
I'd pay for the survey though.

Yes, pay the survey. I did this when we had to pull out, although it's not a legal obligation I felt it was the moral thing to do (and it helped with my guilt!)

Yes it has caused angst
I agree
We are at a strange stage in life when our dc are leaving and dh career is winding down
I really don't feel all that sane to be honest
!
Having huge trouble making decisions and getting v anxious about things .

Do what is best for you and your family at this current time. People pull out of house sales all the time. It's not pleasant, but it is what it is.

I'm wanting to talk more just to make sure
Dh says he has had enough and is sure for the current time
I thknk I'm unsure as I'm more emotional and more anxious about losing our cottage we wanted too .
I'm a bag of nerves at the mo .

Could you sell and rent? If your plan is to downsize in a year anyhow it will make buying somewhere a lot easier for you next year not having to sell at the same time. However, you can't sell just to make someone else happy, only proceed with the sale if you want to.

We just lost thousands of pounds because our seller changed their mind. Due to solicotor cock ups we were exchanging 3 days before completion. We were having a total life change moving 250 miles away, so had given up jobs. We had also cashed in our endowment to pay for the house we were moving to. I feel very close to a breakdown.

Your situation is different though. Its a necessity for you not to move. If you paid for the survey you would be a very nice person indeed.

Did thjnk about that but mortgage is 260 pm and rent would be about 700 so I'm not sure ..but thanks

Love
Am dreadfully sorry to hear your news x

Head not heart situation. It's business.

Pay for the survey, inform her that you intend to sell in a year. Can you offer her first dibs then?

Aunt
Yes good idea I just thought that yes it's a 55 k income cf with an 18 k pension taken now and building up the pension whilst working is fircast 2k more a year . I'm poor at sums but I'm sure that the additional pension would at least pay council tax etc as it would be about 160 or so a month more income for life .
My emotional concern is that the property we wanted will go but as it has been on the market a year now it may not .

Plus us will offer first dibs
I wonder if she feels messed about tho she may not want .

If you are only deferring your move for a year, perhaps the lady will wait for the year. It is a very small amount of time in the grand scheme.

Actually just reread. You got full asking price. House prices where I am (SE) are going down, so I would take full asking while I could.

Remember, your house will probably go up in value over the next year too so that will be extra income for you too. The problem is that having to renegotiate a higher price with her, if you do go ahead and give her first dibs, is going to be very awkward and there will no doubt be a lot of bitterness there if she needs to pay more because you decided to keep it an extra year. Not only that but circumstances change and you never know, for whatever reason you may decide not to sell at all next year in which case she's going to be even more upset! I'm sure she'll find another "dream house" as long as she's not holding out in the long term for yours so the kindest thing to do right now is not to promise anything more and let her cut emotional ties to the house so she can move on. You really do need to do what's best for you though so if it makes financial sense to pull out then do so.

Thanks all
Texted her
Drinking wine
Feel terrible
But had to do it for now for famiky
And we have offered to pay survry .

Right decision. And well done for offering to pay for the survey. An extra 2k a year is worth a little embarrasment.

Lama
Thanks so much ..!
It's another year of a decent salary too -- dh v tired but a year with eye on for is good . Thankyou xx