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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not going to My brothers Wedding (long -sorry)

15 replies

pinkranger · 28/03/2007 10:01

Me and my brother have never got on from an early age ( he is 7 years older than me),and never spend more than 1 hour in the same room, lots of reason that i dont want to go into! Seen him a max of 3 times a year, he dosnt know where i live or have ANY contact details for me.
He is very strange, dosnt keep himself clean and i wouldnt trust him as far as i can throw him

Me and my sister have always " put up with him' for my mums sake but mum and sis has had a big falling out so my sister dosnt have to keep up the front anymore, and i dont see him enough.
Anyway have been invited to his wedding in August and really dont want to go, he has only been with her for 6 months, his 2nd wedding and 5th engamenet, i do feel sorry for her as you can see the patteren reparting its self AGAIN but i just cant be arsed, do feel a litlle bad as it will only be my mum going form his side of the family, his dad dropped him like a ton a few years ago when he go his dad in lots of trouble by lying to people( he is my half brother), but i feel that going to wedding will be a front as i dont give a shit, it will also be 11 days from my Edd!

Do you think i am right not to go.
Putting to the MN Jury

OP posts:
LucyJones · 28/03/2007 10:04

From what you've posted, and esp being haevily pregnant, I don't think you're being unreasonable.
However, in the future you may regret not having a closer relationship with him and if you wanted to work on the situation i would go for that reason.

Original poster
pinkranger · 28/03/2007 10:14

.

OP posts:
batters · 28/03/2007 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Overrun · 28/03/2007 10:27

I don't know, perhaps I am too soft, but I always end up caving on these sorts of things. Could you put in a brief appearance? Why did he invite you, if he doesn't care?

LilyLoo · 28/03/2007 10:28

Do you not think it could be an olive branch ?

littleEasterlapin · 28/03/2007 10:30

do you feel you should go to support your mum?

TBH, if I was getting married (again!) and my sis was 11 days from EDD, I wouldn't be upset if she felt she couldn't come... how far away is it?

Lizzylou · 28/03/2007 10:32

If it's not too far away, I would go. If you just go to the ceremony and leave sharpish during the reception, (pretend to go into labour or something!) you probably won't even see him as he'll be too busy. But at least your conscience will be clear!

Carmenere · 28/03/2007 10:35

I'd go and leave as soon as you want to, perfect excuse of being pregnant.
She may sort him out, you never know, it can happen.

tigerschick · 28/03/2007 10:36

I agree with lizzielou - if it's not too far away. You could even get away with not going to the reception at all - use your pregnancy as the excuse. If it's too far away for that then still use your pregnancy as an excuse for not going. I wouldn't feel guilty, especially as, with what you've told us, there may yet not be a wedding to go to, or not

powder28 · 28/03/2007 10:41

yeah Id say you were right not to go. From your post id say the time isnt right to face something like this

mumblechum · 28/03/2007 10:49

Another one here in the "Go to be polite but leave during reception" camp.

Original poster
pinkranger · 28/03/2007 10:55

thank you for your repleys, im not worried about having a closer relationship with him as past events this WILL NEVER HAPPEN, i do not want that and never want him to have that kind of relationship with my children.

I do think that he has a few mental Health issues but has never got any kind of help with, his last girlfriend who was lovley did try and help him , stopped him from lying ( he does this alot) made him wash change his clothes but she was with him the longest, 3 years so it may take new lady some time aswell.

I am in Kent, wedding in brighton so 1 hour ish away but have ds 4 years and dh dont want to go as dont get on with my brother

OP posts:
LilyLoo · 28/03/2007 14:18

You obviously know the extent of this situation and theres obviously a lot more details to this. If you don't want the relationship with your brother and don't want to go then i guess your mind is already made up.

kimiTheEasterBunny · 28/03/2007 14:31

Don't go send a card if you feel that would be a good thing to do, but just because he is your half brother does not mean you have to like him or go to his wedding, I am sure your mum will be fine, worry about your family, your child and DH and the little one on the way.

Overrun · 28/03/2007 16:19

It sounds as if you have made up your mind, we don't know the full story.

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