BBQ invitations

[Loveluck7]

My friend X has two children, aged 5 and 10. I have a 2 year old. Before Dc was born we held an annual BBQ with many people attending. Dc was born in summer, so we have made the annual BBQ his birthday party. My friend X has always attended my BBQs and brought her family. I have just found out from mutual friend Y (who has a 5 and 2 year old) that my friend has (for the 2nd year running) had a BBQ birthday party for her 5 year old and not invited me. My mutual friend Y, said the reason is that my 2 year old would have had no one to play with. I am really quite hurt by this. Surely, if my 2 year old is out of place at her BBQ then her kids who are 5 and 10 are out of place at my 2 year olds BBQ?

I agree that you should reciprocate via her logic and not invite her or her kids. I'll probably get flamed for this but it's common curtesy to return hospitality and birthday parties count firmly under hospitality. It's never right to accept an invite when you have no plans to ever reciprocate.

Did Y's 2 year old get to go to X's bbq? If so then Y's excuse is rubbish.

Pathetic excuse. I'd be pissed off by that. Yanbu.

Yes don't invite her children this year

honeylulu. Friend Y's 2 year old went to the BBQ but friend Y said that was only because her 5 year old was invited.

Is your BBQ more of an adults thing with children attending, while hers was more about it being a children's birthday party maybe?

If she is a friend phone her and ask her.

Friend Y's 2 year old went to the BBQ but friend Y said that was only because her 5 year old was invited.

...but then your 2 year old would have had someone to play with, wouldn't he....? I agree with others on this. There's something going on here. Don't invite back.

Could be as PP suggested.

Yours sounds like adults BBQ with kids attached.
Hers sounds like kids BBQ (with associated parents staying?)

But even if it is a kid's BBQ, is it really such a hardship to invite one 2-year-old just to be polite?

OK, OP is your 2-year-old a little terror?

It's a funny situation... I would be the bigger person and just invite her if you don't want to risk losing the friendship... it's saved you a present (unless you buy for them normally?) or if you don't mind being without her, just don't invite her to the next one...

But if the other person's 'BBQ' is actually a 5yo B-day party with BBQ food, then the OPs 2yo would be out of place. There would be games / activities organised for a 5yo not a 2 yo, with the invitees being other children that the birthday child knows.

Not at all the same as an adults BBQ which children now attend as the adults have had offspring.

To play devil's advocate, you've been hosting this thing for years and have now essentially slapped a new logo on it to 'rebrand'. You're calling her out for her behaviour around your child's birthday party, but isn't it just the same party she's been invited to for years?

That said, if someone had regularly invited me to a BBQ and then I hosted one of my own, I'd invite that person even if I was worried their kid wouldn't have anyone to play with. That would be your call - you could always turn down the invite if you thought the child would be bored.

I think yabu. Sorry. Hers sounds like it's a genuine party for her 5 year old and if that's the case then it's understandable that it won't suit a two year old. In fact a two year old might well be a. nuisance if all the other kids are older.

It would be nice of them to invite you around at another time but not inviting you to their kids party is understandable and. It something you should get annoyed about.

CoughLaughFart I think you are right. She probably does not see them as similar because I have been running mine as an adults event for years.