Growing up I wasnt told who my real dad was.. at the age of 10 my mum and stepdad(I thought was my dad) sat me down and told me that my stepdad was not actually my father. At the time I took it really well, it was shock but I just said okay. I later approached my mother about what we had discussed, and she literally was like what are you talking about, and never discussed the fact that her and my step dad had sat me down and told me he was not my father. Fast forward to age 17 my mum and step dad had separated, my mum proceeds to sit me down and tell me my step dad is not my father (of course i knew this already), anyway she then proceeds to call my real dad and i spoke to him on the phone for the first time. Again I'm still in shock, but I spoke to him nonetheless. My dad lived abroad so my mum said we were going to visit him, which i was forced to do, as i didn't want to go as he had not asked of me for 18 years. Anyway i went, met my dad and his whole family, they were all really nice, my dad especially he was funny, interesting and I really liked him, we spent a week with him. Went back to the UK, and I began to speak to my dad on a regularly basis. A friend of my mothers told me that my dad told her that I was born as a result of a fling, I told my mum she was really offended and stopped me speaking to my dad. My dad died six months later of a heart attack, and I hadn't spoken to him out of loyalty to my mum. The reason why I am writing all this is I just had a "heated discussion" with my mum, she seems to think that my brothers are in worse position than me, because their dad (my step dad) does not provide for them financially and doesnt take any interest in their lives. I told her its not the same, at least they know him, they live with him, they have an opportunity to have a relationship with him. I just feel really upset that she still doesn't get it, she feels she worked so hard to raise me and provide for me (and she did) so that makes up for not knowing my dad? I feel angry because she just reopens old wounds, my dads death was traumatic, but I moved on from it, she is really dismissive of the situation she has no appreciation of the magnitude of what happened. Am I wrong