Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If Mumsnet had been around 20-30 years ago what would you have posted?

33 replies

Decemberqueen · 02/08/2017 22:01

I was in an abusive relationship with a bloke who for example berated me on a train in front of passengers because I refused to have a baby with him. I got away age 25. A few years later I moved in a cocklodger after a traumatic breakup and had a hellish time getting him out.
I had therapy then met a lovely bloke 10 years ago who I married and had a baby with (still together) but sometimes wish I had had Mumsnet advice years ago when I was making stupid choices.
Anyone else?

OP posts:
Sunshineintheclouds123 · 02/08/2017 22:07

Mine would have been something like:
(Light hearted)
My brother is ruining my life he purposely annoys me. Examples being he stole my tamagotchi and hid it so it died. AIBUto snap his rayman PlayStation disc

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/08/2017 22:12

Excellent thread. Glad you've found your happy ending.
Well 30 years ago. I was only a little girl. Just 11 years old.
20+ years ago. Id have probably asked Am I the only shy self concious awkward teenager in the world, because. Throughout my teen years everyone else was arrogant, pouty and ridiculously cock sure of themselves. I'd stammer and go bright red if anyone even looked at me,. let alone spoke to me.

Looking back on it all now. It was probably all a front.

thenightsky · 02/08/2017 22:14

30 years ago I had an 11 month old DD who slept like dream, as long as it was in her much too small moses basket, with her head pressed against the top. I was convinced she would stunt her growth Grin

Spudlet · 02/08/2017 22:16

30 years ago I was five. So I reckon it would have been 'AIBU to think Mummy is mean not to let me have another biscuit?'

20 years ago I'd have been asking for advice on supporting my mum through my parents' marriage breakup.

I prefer the biscuit thread, frankly. 🍪

Imgrr · 02/08/2017 22:18

Then .......
I'm 17 and due to be getting married soon, my h2b is 25 and is keen to start a family. He gets very angry sometimes, but I know it's my fault because I wind him up and he wouldn't get cross if I treated him with more respect.
Should I come off the pill and have a baby with this man?

Now ....
3 children before I was 25, and stayed with him for over 15 years. He broke so much in the house and then would beat me, and he'd make me apologise for pushing him so much that he had no choice but to hit me.

Autumnchill · 02/08/2017 22:20

I would have asked is my boyfriend BU by not letting me ride his Kellogg's Banana Racer home from school but making me walk alongside

toomuchtooold · 02/08/2017 22:20

Mine would have started "my mum wants me to split up with my boyfriend because he said something insensitive about our house" and hopefully a Stately Homer would have picked it up and clued me in. Would have saved me a ton of trouble.

Doilooklikeatourist · 02/08/2017 22:21

30 years ago , it would have been
I've got a lovely job and my own flat AIBU to want a husband and a baby to make my life complete
20 years ago
My baby boy is the best thing that ever happened , will he ever sleep through the night ?

DancesWithOtters · 02/08/2017 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipscheeseandcurrysauce · 02/08/2017 22:23

30 years ago... I wasn't born.

20 years ago... I was 4.

So no.

sonjadog · 02/08/2017 22:25

Ten years ago I would have been asking when the married man I was sleeping with would be leaving his partner for me. I'm glad to say I'm more clued in these days.

sonjadog · 02/08/2017 22:26

Twenty years ago I was dating a hot Icelander. No need for MN advice.

Hedgehog80 · 02/08/2017 22:29

20 years ago I'd only have been 15 .......
I'd probably have posted
How unhappy I was
How I wasn't allowed any friends or to go out
How I wasn't allowed any privacy and had all my things gone through on a daily basis, diary, possessions everything
How much I hated DM 'desensitising programme' it made me feel physically ill and terrified
How scared I was if I got unwell and DM wouldn't help me and told me it was 'the poison coming out'

If I'd have posted and someone had advised me how to get out of the situation I would have escaped the things that were to come

pieceofpurplesky · 02/08/2017 22:34

Feel old!
30 Years ago I was 17 my boyfriend tells me if I go to university he will dump me. Closely followed by my boyfriend (same one) slept with my best friend. Three years.

Also i would post that the school hunk who had a car gave me a lift to a party. I only drank Coke but felt really ill so he drove me home early and stopped and we had sex. I said no but it was my fault for getting in his car when I felt ill (spiked with something by said school hunk).

25 years ago I was 23 and about to marry a narcissistic twat. It ended badly. Six years.

(See a pattern emerging)

20 years ago I was backpacking around Australia and became the person I wanted to be.

Then 18 years ago I came home and met a man who turned out to be a narcissistic arse. This one I stuck for 16 years until he broke me in to a million pieces.

Now I am happy and content and single. I have a gorgeous DS, lovely home and I love my job. At last I think I am strong in belief in myself.

So kick me if I come on here and say 'I have met a man who ...'

Seren85 · 02/08/2017 22:39

30 years ago I was only 2 so possibly trying to formulate an AIBU to cry when Mummy puts my toy bunny in the wash or takes my dummy away.

20 years ago, aged 12...AIBU to think I'll win the Olympics? I was heavily into competitive swimming and was definitely going to win golds and break records. I didn't....discovered booze and boys aged 16!

MrsPorth · 02/08/2017 22:47

At 15 (August 1987) I was really sad because I'd never had a boyfriend nor been on a date. My friends were all seeing someone and a couple of people had made nasty comments about my single status and linked it to the fact that I had acne. Two months later I met P, my lovely first love, and we went out for 2 years. We are still friends. I'd advise my 15yo self not to accept unkind comments about her appearance. I'd also advise her that orange foundation is a bad idea.

At 25 (August 1997) I was single but ready to settle down and have a family. Otherwise things were brilliant. I'd advise my 25yo self not to settle for Mr Okay, for her sake and his.

TheMaddHugger · 02/08/2017 22:51

I would have asked... Do I need specialized help for my children's Speech. because my Doctor kept saying nahh, they are just late talkers.

The answer is Yes. After 8 yrs of specialised help due to Global Delay, they spoke rather well. But It was a trial at the time.

((((((((Hugs)))))))))) for All.

bushtailadventures · 02/08/2017 22:53

30 years ago: Am I making a mistake with this man? he's 10 years older than me and my Dad doesn't like him at all, plus he lives in a bedsit and has no job at the moment. ( I wasn't, we're still together, and things have improved from the bedsit)

20 years ago: How can I help my youngest dd with her speech? She doesn't speak at all, doesn't even try. (I couldn't, it took years of speech therapy, a speech and language school, and other assorted help to get her talking, 20 years on, she talks..a lot)

gabsdot · 02/08/2017 22:54

I would have loved a forum like this 18 years ago when we started dealing with infertility.

IdoHaveAName · 02/08/2017 22:59

Aw.
30 years ago I would have asked whether it was unreasonable that my mother beat me daily.
20 years ago I would have asked whether I was unreasonable for dropping out of university and hanging out with my bestie who smoked hash daily.
Ages 9 and 19.

elQuintoConyo · 02/08/2017 23:05

1987 I was 12. It would have been: why does my sister start, encourage and join in massive bitch-fests against me with my peers? And why won't my mother believe and protect me?

1997 I was 22. Why doesn't this guy like me? Is he gay? (Reader he was!). Will i ever meet someone who loves me? Will i ever have sex? (Turns out at 23 i emigrated and met a dashing Spanish-Irishman on Italian soil Grin so a MN 'you hang in there' cat poster-type kick up the bum thread would have been right!)

Great thread - this one!

Bumpsadaisie · 02/08/2017 23:08

30 years ago I was nearly 13. Probably "AIBU to hope I get a distinction in my piano exam"? Or "when when will Joseph Surname ever notice me? Should I try and speak to him, for he is perfection in human form?" Or "AIBU to have a huge crush on my late middle aged history teacher? He's ugly and old enough to be my dad but he's so authoritative ...."

20 years ago I was 23. "Should I just carry on travelling and Tefl teaching and just forget about that job in the City I'm supposed to be going back to ...?"

Or "I've started City job but really don't like it that much. Should I change direction?" To which the answer should have been "FFS, yes!" I'm starting retraining in September, only taken me 20 years ....

TartanDMs · 02/08/2017 23:11

20 years ago:

I am engaged to an older man. He told me he was divorced when we met but really he was married, his wife kicked him out when she found out about me. He then lied that she had cancer so he couldn't sell his house. Anyway, I am pregnant and he is forcing me to have an abortion. We live together and he has taken out a loan in my name to buy a car, he has ordered size 10 womens clothes from my catalogue Confused i am a size 14, and he beats me regularly. Last night he kicked me down the stairs and locked me out in my underwear for reading Cosmo while he was out with his friend J. J's daughter went to school with me and she calls him all the time, she is a size 10, it's got to be a coincidence. I don't have any friends now because I am only allowed to leave the house to go to work. What do I do?

30 years ago:

My parents won't take me to the FA Cup Final. All my friends are going. Are they being unreasonable? [Not that i am still bitter after 30 years]

C0untDucku1a · 02/08/2017 23:16

20 years ago: im about to go away to university. My boyfriend is a bit possessive but i lurve him. Should i end it now or see what happens?

30 years ago: my older brother is really annoying. Should i tell his girlfriend he spends an hour getting ready for their dates?

tiba · 02/08/2017 23:46

I would have been 1, so my mum would have been posting about me and siblings possibly