AIBU to run away for a bit

[Sunshineintheclouds123]

I'm really not coping. I've name changed as it's awful for me to be thinking let alone writing down this.
I just can't cope with my oldest son anymore. He's in the process of being seen by various professionals who are all leaning towards a diagnosis of asd (high functioning). I thought this would be the anwser to everything and help me to cope it's not.
I have asked to go on every parenting course available have bought numerous books on parenting children with asd to help so I'm not just completely crushed and can't go on.
My son is extremely violent and has only just turned 6. He beats me and his dad up in s daily basis. Punches, kicks, bites, pinches, throws things when he has a meltdown. I thought we'd started to have the warning signs that trigger meltdowns and try to stop the meltdown and violent behaviour before it begins but the holidays have just thrown everything out of the window.
I have spent the holidays on egg shells hoping that he can get through a day without something happening I'm scared he's going to hurt his two year old brother.
I have no family to help me and my in laws help a little bit just say I need to be stricter and hit him which is ridiculous and they don't believe in autism just say he's clever and strong willed. They literally have no idea what living with him full time is like.
I'm a teacher and counting the days till I get back to work.
I dread getting up in the morning and just want to run away from my oldest son because I'm becoming so depressed.
Have no idea what to do anymore

Has he got a social worker? Maybe you need to approach them for some help even if it's just temporary respite

No social worker that's never been offered. Any appointments we've had they've said me and my husband are coping well as we are keen to try and strategies being offered. They're not working and we're not coping but no one seems to realise quite how bad his violence is

Have you looked into support groups for parents of kids with asd? Maybe just chatting with people going through similar stuff will help you feel a bit more able to cope?
Sorry if you've already done this.

Who tells you you are coping well - your gp? I'm afraid sometimes to get the help you need you have to shout a little louder until they hear you as such. Make an appointment with whatever service you have and keep saying you need more help and some respite. Due to cuts within these services they aren't offered as much anymore but are still available.
My daughter has complex special needs ( tho not asd related) and has terrible temper without respite when she was younger I don't think I could have coped. You need time to yourself and time to have a 1 on 1 with your younger child too - it's not selfish it's not pushing your older child out it's all about recharging your batteries.
Please look into support services.

Oh sweetheart with these services you just can't wait for them to be offered. You almost have to wear yourself out begging for the support

Hello Shineshineintheclouds if folk say you are coping - those providers of the services that you are in dire need of won't be contacted because the referral won't be made.

My advice would be to request an assessment to be done by childrens services - one looking at your child's need, also one looking at the need of the carer(s) and the family as a whole.

Be VERY specific what you ask for. Be VERY clear that you are at breaking point.

If you feel you can no longer cope - the LA (if you request) are legally obliged to place your child in a suitable placement. Section 20 agreement. I hope you never have to go down that route...