AIBU or do some people genuinely find it hard to interpret body language or tone of voice?

[tigercub50]

Ongoing thing with DH - he will say that I have this way with me or that I speak in a certain way & his interpretation of how I am coming across can be quite off. We were talking just now & I was just sitting, thinking about the next thing I was going to say, and he asked me why I was irritated. I wasn't at all! Other times he will say things like " You came in all guns blazing" when I was using a normal reasonable tone. On the other hand, there is often no doubt as to his intentions but he will deny it & say I am misinterpreting his behaviour or his tone.I insist that anyone would interpret his behaviour the same as I do. We are both sensitive but I get quite frustrated with this at times.

Certainly do. Members of my family are famous for it. Haven't a clue about tone, body language or nuance. They understand only the meaning of the words that are spoken. Sarcasm, irony, tongue in cheek, it all passes them by completely. I believe it is congenital. Sadly, they are great exponents of foot in mouth too. My advice is listen to the words don't try and read between the lines or second guess each other.

Anybody out there? 🙂

Hell yes. Mind you, DB has aspergers so I am well used to tone of voice and body language going woooosh It has made for some very amusing situations (also many less than amusing ones!).

DM is a bugger for falling out with you about your tone (🙄); consequently I am hyper-careful about mine and frequently caveat what I'm saying. People still sometimes misinterpret me though. Maybe I'm just not very clear

Lots of people have difficulty with this, particularly if they are on the autistic spectrum.

Yes. My 2 older dcs are at opposite extremes - dd picks up more than I do when we are watching TV and ds1 is hopeless and often needs guidance.

I'm on the spectrum. I sometimes find it difficult but also my DH often thinks I'm using a particular tone when I'm not.

I wonder if DH might have mild autism actually. I think we are all on the spectrum to a certain extent

I struggle with it and I have Aspergers. Things like telling if people are sarcastic or angry are really difficult.

DD is 10 and recently diagnosed with ASD. She doesn't recognise if I have been crying for example - red puffy eyes etc mean nothing, she would literally need to see me sobbing to understand. Her 7yo brother is also autistic and he is oblivious but actually slightly better at seeing if I need a hug for example

But please don't say we are all on the spectrum. We aren't :) (sorry. It's a bugbear)

(Ignore that if I misunderstood you and you mean your family specifically)