aibu to tell her to call less??

[nosleepforme]

i have been married for several years. i had not meet/spoken to all my dh siblings until 1+ years after we were married.
suddenly, for the past 3 mos, sil has been calling both me and dh a few times a day. we both do not have a close relationship with her and dont feel a need/want to. i generally dont get to speak to her though as she has terrible timing.
sil is insisting we visit her (all of a sudden after all these years). dh has said that we are not available to travel to her (she lives far away) due to work and normal life, but when we are available, we will be in contact. she continues to bother us both, with at least 3 phone calls a day saying things like "we cant have you these dates, and im so sorry to cancel..." (cancel what?! we never asked to come!!)
i am now pg after trying for a while and going through several mc's. i really want this time to myself and am finding her constant calling very stressful. dh and i have agreed that we do not want to share our news with his family.
aibu to call her and thank her for her kind invitation, but firmly let her know that we will not be able to accept and she should stop calling so often? dh thinks its better to ignore and tell her "not this week etc." but it's not working!

just received a voice mail (it didnt ring)
she wants to catch up (i just spoke to her a few days ago?!) and asks why dh didnt answer his phone today.
the more i think about it, the more she sounds incredibly needy.
what should i do now?

I think your DH should ring her and ask why she is suddenly calling up to 6 times a day. It's really odd. Does she have any mh issues?

It's sounding like she's not mentally well at the moment. For your own sake I'd follow the suggestion of blocking her number and telling her that your phone is playing up, so that you're no longer at the mercy of her calling so frequently. Let DH handle the calls.

It sounds like some sort of manic episode. Does she have a mental health diagnosis?

If your DH is younger by 20 years is there a possibility he's actually the son of one of his "sisters"? If this SIL is old enough to be his mother, maybe she actually is, and is now trying to create some sort of mother/son relationship? I know it sounds it a bit crazy, but it certainly wouldn't be the first case of this happening.

But something must have triggered her ringing so often when before she never did?
I would be blunt and ask her why she is calling all the time now as she never did before. If she says 'she is just being a good sister' again ask her why she has decided this now, be a dog with a bone.
I'm very cynical though and would assume she was trying to butter me up for a big favour.

@emmyrose2000 no, ive seen pictures of his mum pregnant with him and sister from same time. mil friends told me when they met me how they all remember her being pregnant with him and how crazy it was etc.
dh has arrived home early this morning (yay!) and has already received messages and missed calls within the last hour. ive insisted he call her today and tell her in a nice but very clear way that it must stop.
@mickeysminnie seems like maybe she does want something, unless she has developed mh issues that i do not know of. cant imagine what she would want though?

oh no, dh just popped out for 5 mins. he came back saying she has called again!! he spoke with her and asked why she calls so much and she says "it's just to say hi and ask if you want to pop over today". (across the country when we have work?! when she already asked several times this week!) he says that he told her firmly "x, i said i would call you when we are available. we are not coming tomorrow and i will call you when we want to come." she got sulky and said "ok ok ok".
dh has said he actually thinks its very possible she may be going through mh problems. he thinks the only thing that would work is shouting at her, but says since he thinks she may be struggling with mh, shouting at her is unfair. i dont think shouting is the solution, but ill wait to see if she calls again

I have done this before to my dad when I was severely depressed and anxious, it was a massive change of character for me as I would never ever call my dad.
I think there is a possibility there is something underlying e.g. MH issues. Does your husband ask if she is well? Is there anyone you can contact to check if she seems ok that actually sees her regularly?

Can you contact social services and say you are concerned about her mental health and take advice from there. Or her doctor? The doctor won't discuss her with you but can check on her.

Ok, if she's going through some kind of mental health crisis, you probably won't get much joy from questioning her. What about contacting her DH and saying you're concerned, because she's behaving out of character, and can he throw any light on how she is?
You don't HAVE to do anything, but if you do care about her at all it would be kind to show enough interest to follow this up at least a bit.
the alternative is to put more distance between you by blocking or at least ignoring many of her communications, but if she's not well or in a crisis this could make her worse. But it's your call - as to how involved you want to be if something's going on.