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Asking DH to remove the woman he had an affair with from fb...aibu?

12 replies

Booboob · 02/08/2017 09:24

DH had an affair whilst married with a young child.... anyway his dw found out, he ended the affair and subsequently his marriage broke down.... zoom forwards 10 years we are now happily married with 2 small children of our own and my 2 step children have a great relationship /family life with us and their mum. Recently I spotted that the woman he had the affair with is friends with him on fb.....
I think this is not acceptable and asked him to remove her for that very reason. He did immediately without any argument but he brought it up last night saying I was unreasonable to have asked him to do so and that he should be allowed to be friends on FB with her.....AIBU?

OP posts:

IrregularCommentary · 02/08/2017 09:33

So the affair was over 10yrs ago and it wasn't you he cheated on?

I think you are being a bit unreasonable, yeah. Do you have any ex boyfriends on fb? If it wasn't you he cheated on then I don't really see the difference particularly.


schoolgaterebel · 02/08/2017 09:35

Yes I think YABU, I understand your feelings, but they are still unreasonable, sorry.


SuperBeagle · 02/08/2017 09:37

It had nothing to do with you, and still doesn't.


VladmirsPoutine · 02/08/2017 09:39

Yes, YABU.
I probably would have run screaming from this situation back then but you are where you are and you can't police his 'friendships'. If he's going to cheat I highly doubt removing someone from FB will be the antidote to that.


eatabagofdicks · 02/08/2017 09:42

No I don't think YABU. She's an ex, why does he need her on Facebook? Are they friends? Do they keep in touch in real life? Can't see the point otherwise.


IdentifiesAsASloth · 02/08/2017 09:44

I've got splinters in my arse here.

I think I'd feel the same as you, but also that I wouldn't have any right to feel like that.

Not much help, sorry!


LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 02/08/2017 09:45

I don't think you're being unreasonable. She's more than just an ex girlfriend. There's a lot of history and baggage. The fact that he did it straight away suggests that he gets it too. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't trust him.


MargaretTwatyer · 02/08/2017 09:53

I don't think YABU either. If they had remained friends and you were aware of that and he'd been open with you that would be understandable.

But as he has added her recently (I assume) and not been up front about it. You're right to be worried about it, they have form for being untrustworthy.

I think it's disrespectful to your DSC too as I doubt they would welcome her being in contact. YANBU.


llangennith · 02/08/2017 10:25

Why have you started two identical threads within a minute if each other? And responded to both?


StinkPickle · 02/08/2017 11:18

I think it depends if you have or ever would have, any ex boyfriends on FB

It's not you that he cheated on. Its just an ex to him.


midnightmisssuki · 02/08/2017 11:25

Sorry - YABU.


KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 02/08/2017 11:31


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