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11 year old dd MSN wars (long. sorry)

6 replies

persephonesnape · 27/03/2007 21:46

deep breath my daughter has fallen out with a classmate over something that mattters hugely to an 11 year old ( she took her turn at bowling while she was in the toilet!) this blew over a little and then they had an MSN falling out - other girl (OG) started with 'r u my friend because you dingied me at swimming, so i don't care if u r my friend or not' (...) dd replied with ' i didn't dingy u. i'm not sure iof i want to bn ur friend if you don't want to be my my friend' (bear with me here..) it ended up with OG typing, 'ur a speccy snob, ur a loser u will end up in a loooney bin' and dd replying' hahh. ur pathetic! LOLZ.

dd told to leave it alone now and sign off. (computer in living room internet access monitored..) which she did. she got msn messages from her other wee chums for the next half hour or so reporting that OG had contacted them, saying that she wasn't friends with dd anymore. however when OG reposted what she had typed to DD, other friends said they didn't want to be Ogs friend either.

Ogs mum, dad and big brother come up to school yesterday morning to complain about DD. DD is hauled out of class by the head teacher and asked if she thinks she has acted in a reasonable manner. DD doesn't know what the allegation is, so shrugs, which gets results in head 'shouting' at her..

the first i hear about this is when i pick up dd from library club. DD has already printed off MSN convo. school phones me today and I have a reasonable conversation with principal teacher in heads absence.

I want to support my daughter. I'm under no illusion that she's a blameless little princess. but i do think that she has acted well on this occasion. I appreciate that the oOGs family feel that she is being victimised, but i don't feel they have a full appreciation of the situation. OG has also mocked another girl in the class whose mother died in childbirth ( you haven't got a mum lolz!) so attempting to turn DDs friends against her has backfired a bit.

I'm trying to tell my daughter to keep away from her, or have an appreciation that OG may be acting weird because of puberty/family but it jars a bit to make excuses for someone who is making life just that bit more difficult for my DD.

would anyone do anything different? I'm trying to be reasonable, but ot's very difficult. I've written to the head, and i don't want to march up to school to legitimise the whole silly argument - plus i think at eleven you need to start having a little personal responsibility - I can't sort things out for DD.

sigh I feel that she's being victimised now for something that I don't see as being wholly her fault.

all you mums of toddlers have this to come!

OP posts:

zephyrcat · 27/03/2007 21:50

Well I would say well done your dd for reacting to the way she did to og's nasty comments to her. Soiunds like og is a bit of a bully and your dd and, luckily, all her other friends can see it by not wanting to be og's friend when she told them what she'd said to your dd.

I would reassure dd that regardless of the school mistakenly hauling her in over it, she did the right thing by effectively not rising to the bully. Good on her


vimfuego · 27/03/2007 21:57

you dingied me at swimming

Sorry, what does that mean?


persephonesnape · 27/03/2007 22:12

exactly vim. I'd like to think it means, you saw me treading water frantically, so you passed me a blow up boat. in glasweigan, to 'dinghy' is to ignore (I'm from London. my child is Glaswegian. I've just convinced her that putting 'but' at the end of a sentence isn't grammatically correct...)

I just feel a bit annoyed that the bluff and bluster of teh entire family marching up to school to accuse dd has been given the time of day. without DDs side of the story being heard.

mercifully DD is P7 and we have almost three months to go at primary - then it's off to secondary - OG is going elsewhere...

OP posts:

zephyrcat · 27/03/2007 22:14

lol I thought it meant something like she whacked her with a blow up dinghy at swimming fun time or something!!!


vimfuego · 27/03/2007 22:24

Ah a bit like "blanking" someone then.


Niteewotcha · 08/11/2022 23:29

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