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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to work with this guy who gives me the creeps

45 replies

blubberball · 02/08/2017 07:28

I work in a job where we usually work alone, but this guy was supposed to be coming with me to the middle of no where today, and we would most likely be just the 2 of us. I've told my supervisor that I refuse to let that guy come with me, and I'd rather go on my own, even though that might make the job slightly more difficult. He sets off alarm bells with me, has made disgusting comments in the past, makes me really uncomfortable and just gives me the creeps. Just waiting to see what the backlash will be now that I've spoken up.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 02/08/2017 11:49

Also if you mention you are contacting your unions regional office to your supervisor it might make him to take it a bit more seriously.

Thank God we aren't in 1975 anymore, you are right to stand your ground.

Littlebitshort · 02/08/2017 11:50

Could you phone your HR department and get advise quickly before you are lumbered with this creep?

Original poster
blubberball · 02/08/2017 11:51

Well I go in 5 minutes. Bit late now. I tried to sort it this morning, but no good. I'm shaking and feeling sick. :(

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie2 · 02/08/2017 11:53

Oh god op that sounds horrible. Can you be any more specific about why you are working in confined spaces? Don't worry if not I just wanted to understand more about the situation.

At least your boss knows you feel uncomfortable, itmremind sme of the book called the Gift of Fear which talks about intuition and acting on feeling uncomfortable.

LexieLulu · 02/08/2017 11:53

Do you have mobile signal where you are going?

Moussemoose · 02/08/2017 11:54

Put your concern in an email. Ask your supervisor if they are 'insisting' you work with this man. Make it their issue. Only respond to written comments. After conversations you say "could you confirm that in writing". If they won't then they can fuck right off can't they?

Littlebitshort · 02/08/2017 11:54

Wheres your boss? Could you phone him? Oh dear you dont sound very happy at all. Have you got your mobile on you? Im panicking for you OP Shock

Booboobooboo84 · 02/08/2017 12:10

I think you would be justified on this occasion to say your too unwell to work. Your mental health is as important as your physical health.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/08/2017 12:15

Could you keep your phone on when you are with him to record and remarks/suggestions etc that he makes. It won't get rid of your fear, but if he is inappropriate you will have some proof.

I doubt very much whether he would be stupid enough to physically assault you, but he sounds enough of a twat to make vulgar remarks.

eubyru · 02/08/2017 14:18

Hope everything goes ok op. I would put set my phone to record and keep it beside me at all times if I was you so you can get any comments or anything like that

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/08/2017 14:22

Please let us know how this goes. There are people on this forum who are experienced in workplace difficulties and they would be able to advise. Possibly starting a thread on legal might be the best way to go.

Thinking of you. Flowers

Anatidae · 02/08/2017 14:26

You need to report, in an unemotional and factual way.

And your employer needs to understand that by not acting they put themselves at risk of being sued/negative publicity

Do everything via email and keep copies.

Original poster
blubberball · 02/08/2017 15:02

Thanks everyone. I sort of barricaded myself in, and kept my guard up. People came and went, so we weren't alone long. Nothing untoward was said. I think that the supervisors might have had a word, and they checked that everything was ok when I got back. Word might have got round to him any way, and he kept his mouth shut.

He might have gone off me now any way. Him and a couple of others like him are part of the reason I stopped wearing make up, and I cut my hair short. I wanted to disappear off their radars.

OP posts:
Jessiecat27 · 02/08/2017 15:23

Sounds exactly like a guy we used to work with!

LoyaltyAndLobster · 02/08/2017 15:25

YANBU

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/08/2017 17:49

Good - you have drawn attention to his behaviour, and someone has probably had a word with him.

With luck this will stop his foul insinuations and comments. If it doesn't, then at least you have a precedent to build on.

Original poster
blubberball · 02/08/2017 21:28

I think that they must have known what he was like any way. I've heard so many more stories as the day went on.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/08/2017 22:27

If you are right then they have been totally unreasonable in a) keeping him on and especially b) forcing you to spend time with him alone particularly when you had expressed distress.

Original poster
blubberball · 03/08/2017 08:11

It wouldn't surprise me. I love my job itself, but the company and management have a shitty attitude to things like this.

OP posts:
AnnetteCurtains · 03/08/2017 08:34

My God blubber you shouldn't have to feel like this . Ring your Union if your rep is not in
Absolutely unacceptable behaviour

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