Watching me in the gym? Need advice

[BootsWithDresses]

I'll try keep it short. Friends with a nasty and toxic person (worked with them), tried to ruin my life. Built life back up and they recently tried to contact me by email at work. I ignored it.

They've started going to the same gym as me. They used to before but quit and I didn't see them for a year.

I was with a personal trainer this morning and he (ex friend) decided to workout right next to me. I felt I was being watched/judged, I couldn't concentrate. There's nothing I can do to prevent this. Should I quit?

Sorry I meant to post this in chat

Great advice

alright give us a chance. If they've effected you that badly in the past couldn't you get a restraining order or something? Has anything ever been logged with police or have you spoken to a solicitor?

I'd take the power away from him by acknowledging him and then carrying on with your workout. Do nt spend your life worried and afraid of him.

I'd change gyms.

Bit pushy, aintcha ?

You've got two choices, really, as far as I can see.

One- you quit. They win- probably getting what they want from you, even if it's a passive reaction. They will know that they can still get to you.
It's the easy option for you, though.
You will know what your relationship is like with the gym and your trainer ... is it easier to stay or go?

Two: you take back the power (like northern says).
You decide whether or not they affect you.
Can you blank them?
Can you discretely ask your trainer to stand between you and them...or to subtly move you to another piece of equipment if Nasty Person is beside you?

It's the harder option, but there's great satisfaction to be had from facing down a bully.

I would explain to the PT and request you move to a seperate part of the gym. If they follow, the PT should deal with it and ask them to not to.

The most important words in this post are "BUILT MY LIFE BACK UP" This alone is a personal victory and overrides any of x "friend's" actions

When I go to the gym I have a set routine. I might workout next to you. Because you're next to the piece of equipment I want to use. Your post is about how you felt. Not that they did anything unpleasant. If you can't deal with being in the same room as them and can't avoid them (working out at different times) then you need a new gym.

I understand you're probably feeling pretty upset, but snapping at strangers on line because they haven't responded as quickly as you'd like them to is not going to make you feel any better.

I think you've got a few options. The first is to find another gym, but it sounds like this person doesn't have any qualms about trying to re-insert themselves in your life, so there'd be nothing to prevent them from following you.

The next is to explain the situation to your personal trainer and ask if you can rearrange your training sessions for earlier or later in the day?

If he starts following you around the gym and you're totally sure that he's not just wanting to use the equipment in a certain order, is there a procedure for complaining about other gym users? Like a code of conduct?

Or you could wait and see if it happens again. If it does, and you still have the email he sent you, then reply along the lines of 'I confirm receipt of your email. I do not wish to have any further contact with you'. Make sure you don't write anything inviting a response and keep copies of everything.

Lastly, (and this will obviously depend on what he did and how confident you feel around him) let him do what he wants. He is irrelevant to you. You have no interest in him or his opinions and the only thing that matters is you getting a good work out. He may well move on if he realises he's not getting a reaction from you.

Good luck.

I had someone follow me round the gym. I didnt even know him. But every morning, i would find straight behind me. When i moved, he eould br behind me.

I pointed him out to my pt and my pt made sure he moved me if he turned up.