AIBU to be upset and angry with DS?

[user1478597636]

I have twin 12 year old boys and, while I totally understand their need for independence from each other, one is "annexing" his brother's friends and excluding him from their group. I know that the "friends" don't have to go off with one of the boys and I cant "make" anyone like other DS but I'm not dealing well with the attitude of the "popular" son, who doesn't see anything wrong with this. (It probably goes without saying that I wasnt popular so this is hurting.)

Yanbu to feel that way, you can't help how you feel.

Yanv,vu if you start treating them differently because of this, attempt to intervene or tell them how to handle it. Support 'unpopular' ds, encourage other ds to be kind and inclusive, beyond that let them establish their own identities and find their own way in the weird harsh social world of teenagers!

Tbh it would depend what was going on. If one son is nastily trying to isolate the other then that is different to the other kids just being more keen on the 'popular' one. If 'popular' son is being cruel to his brother you need to intervene I think.

Do you mean that your 'popular' son is deliberately moving in on your other son's friends and taking them away from him and encouraging them to exclude him ? If so that is mean (it is a form of bullying in my book) and I would intervene and tell him this is unacceptable.

It is possible to have independence from each other (perfectly fine) without being unkind, and it should be possible for them to have some individual and some mutual friends.

Thanks for the comments - it isnt just me then!