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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Survive the summer' articles....

29 replies

Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 19:58

Does anyone else find these articles patronising, annoying and a bit sexist? They are always aimed at women and the 'advice' is always so flipping obvious it just isn't helpful. 'If your children complain they are bored, try going for a walk to your local park' Etc.

A guidebook type article with dates and times of free/low cost things to do with your kids would be helpful (and is why I keep reading them hoping to find such a thing) but every article I've read seems to infer that mothers are so frazzled and overwhelmed that they can't even think to take the kids to a park.
Fully prepared to be told aibu if others find them helpful. They make me a bit ragey, however, that could just be PMT.

OP posts:
RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/08/2017 20:00

I hate them, why on earth do people need to survive summer?

You have children so surely you expect to parent them? It can't come as a shock surely?

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 01/08/2017 20:03

Oh god this again Sad

IndianaMoleWoman · 01/08/2017 20:03

Surely the summer is the easiest time, when you can just chuck them in the garden/go to the countryside/beach/wherever? I need a guide for surviving bitterly cold, wet and windy January days on a post-Christmas budget of 23p please.

talonofthehawk · 01/08/2017 20:03

@rainbows
I totally agree. MN is full of 'I can't stand the summer! I can't deal with the kids' posts..
pathetic

PandasRock · 01/08/2017 20:05

I do wish there was a proper, full list of what's on in different areas. From playgrounds (especially for 10+) to local points of interest, plus the bigger touristy things.

I live at the corner of 3 counties meeting, and it's a nightmare trying to find out anything - it's not even as simple as checking 3 different tourism boards, as the edges of counties are not always well covered in 'things to do' sections. I've just discovered I've missed 3 different events which would all have been brilliant for my dc Angry

I would also like to add: I wish activity books and '50 things to do when you're bored/want to be a scientist/experiments to do at home/whatever really did only use basic stuff you're likely to have at home, OR have a comprehensive ingredients/kit list at the beginning, rather than getting to the point of setting up to do something before discovering it's not possible. And if the activities were even approaching achievable by children themselves, that would be an added bonus!

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 01/08/2017 20:06

Some people find it hard. Some don't.

Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:07

A friend of my dhs ripped into me when I said the articles were annoying. Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

OP posts:
ISaySteadyOn · 01/08/2017 20:08

I tried to take my 3 to a local park today. However, the faffing, fighting, needing to persuade each of them it was a good idea at different times, the soothing after the fighting by which point someone had had an accident meant we stayed home and did painting. So, it's easy to tell parents to do something but not so easy for them to do it.

Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:09

I'm not questioning whether people find it hard - everyone does at some point. I'm just fed up of the shit articles and non advice. A guidebook of stuff to do would be much more beneficial to someone who is struggling. It's not always the mum either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:10

Yes to the 50 things to do books not needing a tonne of extra stuff too!

OP posts:
talonofthehawk · 01/08/2017 20:11

Parents surprised by the reality of parenting: an article to validate you

YANBU op, they are infuriao

talonofthehawk · 01/08/2017 20:11

*infrurating

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 01/08/2017 20:11

Yes sorry whatsername (your name reminds me of the green day song) I'm a sensitive as I posted a thread on this subject that ended up on facebook and really upset me. You are posting about the articles. I agree.

plimsolls · 01/08/2017 20:11

Not strictly summer related as I'm on maternity leave and my child is just a baby but I use the Hoop app to find local stuff to do. I don't know if it covers the whole country but you can select by age of child, time of day, date, and distance. It's free, if I remember correctly, and really helpful.

Our local council publishes an online PDF of all the summer activities for ages 0-25 too. I randomly saw it on the council website the other day. It's possible that lots of them now do this, as part of certain reforms of the Children and Family Act.

(Sorry, I know I'm slightly off topic but I saw some PP saying they wish there was a directory and so I hoped this might help).

peachlimeorange · 01/08/2017 20:13

There is absolutely loads of stuff to do. I don't understand the angst at all. I do understand financial limitations but that isnt limited to summer.

PandasRock · 01/08/2017 20:14

I find the summer difficult. Same as any school holiday, or break in routine.

Yes, I had children, and fully expected to parent them. I am happy to do so.

I would love to be able to chuck them in the garden, or mooch in the beach, or do anything even remotely chilled.

But my dc all have ASD. One severely. And they need to be fully supervised, with full on activities, all day every day.

It is exhausting and at times soul destroying. Remember having a 2 year old, in days where nothing went right, and every activitiy attempted went wrong, didn't meet expectations, resulted in a screaming tantrum, left a massive mess to clear up after bedtime (because right now you're dealing with the screaming ball of fury that the last activity provoked), where you can't even have a 20 second loo break for a quick wee in peace, the house is a tip because any attempt at housework in the day means that full-on screaming meltdown, and quite frankly, by the time you've got them settled in bed all,you're good for is getting your own head down before tomorrow's onslaught?

That's my life, except my two year old is about to be a teenager, is as big as me, stronger when in meltdown, and has the capacity to seriously hurt me or younger siblings.

Sometimes, the summer looms long. I am two weeks in, and flagging. Only 4 more to go...

Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:14

That's really helpful plimsolls!

Far - sorry, I didn't realise that. I'm really not looking to offend or upset anyone. Also, you are right about the username - Green day were my first love Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:18

Pandas - my brothers both have ASD- are there any holiday clubs or is there any respite care you can access? Assuming you find these articles even more infuriating than most. 'Just take them to the park' really isn't that simple when your kids aren't NT.

OP posts:
PandasRock · 01/08/2017 20:23

We go to the park - at 8.30am, when everyone else is having their holiday lie in and lazy breakfast/brunch/pj day Grin

We leave by 10 at the latest, when it starts filling up.

No respite or accessible playschemes within easy reach - back to that edge of county issue, everything is too far away.

Middle child is at a summer workshop thing all this week, so there's only 2 to deal with - almost feels like a holiday Grin

We get by, but proper listings of what's on/possible places to go would make such a difference. Even going to anew playground can make such a difference to the Groundhog Day aspect - thankfully mine are all ok with 'new' same experiences! Will look up that app, thanks plimsolls

Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:29

More and more places are starting to do autism friendly sessions too. I know our local trampolining place does. It sounds like you have a good routine. I'm NT but with two brothers on the spectrum my childhood was very similar. Possibly why I am a planner now!

OP posts:
CrohnicallyPregnant · 01/08/2017 20:30

Or when you aren't NT.

I admit it, I'm struggling. Not so much because my elder DD isn't at nursery/school, but because my usual activities aren't running. Her swimming times have changed, the usual under 5s groups have stopped, but most of the summer holiday activities are for age 5+. There are activities out there, but I can't rely on 'Mondays we do this, Tuesdays we do that' like I can in term time.

And the weather's been shit which means I can't just chuck her out in the garden.

And I have a newborn DD so when I do find something for DD1 I have to take DD2 into account.

Last year wasn't so hard as I only had 1, and I'm sure next year will be easier when DD2s a bit bigger, and I'll be glad of the break from work as i won't have spent 3 months at home on maternity already, but right now I'm finding it tough.

Original poster
Whatsername17 · 01/08/2017 20:37

That must be annoying to have activities cancelled or moved. We are lucky that dd's clubs are still running as usual. Your baby is really little so it must be a struggle. I know what you mean about mat leave though - I found both of my maternity leave stretches much harder than the summer holidays as it's very difficult to entertain a baby beyond feeding.

OP posts:
NicolasFlamel · 01/08/2017 20:43

I find the tone of the articles kind of sets me up to be anxious and worried! I wouldn't see it as having to "survive" Summer if there wasn't such a mad, nerve-wracking build up to it. I find it hard because my son has SEN and thrives on the term time routine so he's struggling with the relaxed-ness of it all. We're a bit limited as to what we can do as he can freak out in busy places but we have done a couple of nice things so far. I'm sure we'll relax into it.

dementedma · 01/08/2017 20:44

Flowers for pandas
My gripe is that all summer activity suggestions are aimed at little ones. My ds is 15, stands 6 ft 1 in his smelly socks and does not want to go to the park, colour in, make salt dough or play in the garden. He wants to play on his xbox, play his bass guitar, eat, pick his spots, eat, watch tv, sleep, eat and masturbate.

annandale · 01/08/2017 20:53

Sounds like a full programme demented Grin

Similar for my 13 year old except he doesn't play guitar so that's one positive activity not achievable.

It's all so much easier at this age and with an NT child so I've reached the point of not even noticing the 'survive the summer' stuff. I used to work in the magazine industry so I know how these vapid patronising articles come to exist. Try to block them out.