To be just done. dc constantly fighting, bickering, arguing. I'm done.

[blubberball]

I have depression any way. This I know. I'm on meds and receiving treatment. Dc constant fighting is getting me down. I dread spending time with them now, which makes me feel awful. They're 9 and 5. They're both as bad as each other. He hit me, he pinched me, he told me to shut up, he called me an idiot, I want to sit there, he pushed me.....and on repeat all day every day forever. Days out are ruined, and family holidays are impossible. I'm in a constant cycle, downward spiral of punishment. We're all suffering. We were supposed to be going out to a restaurant to dinner, but fighting in the car has resulted in me turning around, going home and sending them to bed. I'm just drained and exhausted with it. Separately, they're fine. Please help with any suggestions. Feeling crap. :(

My two don't bicker but are consistently "naughty". E.g. Lying on floor in supermarket, running away etc. So I set them up for failure sometimes e.g. We are going swimming but if you don't stand nicely in the queue then we are going home. Younger DC runs about like an idiot banging into people so we go home. Then tears and tantrums but the next time we go it doesn't happen.
They need to know that only good behaviour is rewarded but bloody hell its exhausting. Could you do a few more trips out where you just come home? And yes also talk to them about expected behaviour, get them on board with that too.

Really agree about stopping the car if they're squabbling.

Don't say anything, just stop somewhere safe and wait until they stop - run out of steam or get curious about what you're doing.

When they're quiet, drive on, if they start up, you stop again.

We did this for about 3 days when they were 10 and 8 and it really worked.

Some great ideas here. Thanks. :)

They go to their rooms if they fight, regardless of who started it or who screeched. And make it a clear house rule that they show you respect - clear consequence every time they don't.

My brother and I were very bickery as kids but are great pals now. Looking back I think it was half boredom on long car journeys. Can you get them to be the sat nav and navigate, or keep them occupied with the eye spy type books? When we were young we were always better once worm out, so chores before breakfast, then car journey out would be my advice

And don't despair op it's a commen situation. Gets better as they get older honestly.

Unmumsnetty hug

I give my kids at school the silent treatment: if a class isn't behaving (low-level disruption) I simply sit and wait, looking at them in a slightly bored way. It's quite amusing to watch the shuffling and settling down and elbowing each other as they realise the lesson has stopped and they're just being...stared at. Once they've self-settled, I start teaching again as if nothing had happened.

I find it more helpful - and works more quickly - than getting angry and shouty and strict, as that just winds me AND them up.

Would that work with two?!

Thanks everyone. We had a much better day today, and managed to go out for a family meal with everyone behaving themselves. Maybe I'm starting to get through to them that everyone's had enough of their bull shit.