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Who is BU? Step family related. Long, sorry.

5 replies

DressedCrab · 01/08/2017 13:19

Basics are DB's DD has been married twice. Two DCs from first marriage one from her second. There is also a DSS from her DH's first marriage. DSS is the same age as eldest DS. Access had always been flexible, they live in the same village as DSS's DM. Now DSS is older (16) he comes and goes as he pleases, more or less. All very friendly.

Only one hiccup up until today. First Christmas after the marriage DB and DSisIL spent the same on DSS as on their grandchildren. DSS's grandparents gave token presents only. All families very, very comfortably off. Son in law was embarrassed and asked that they buy token presents only as well because his family thought that was best, to spend more on their blood grandson. Fair enough. That's how it's been for 5 years.

DB and DSisiL have to rewrite their wills because they've sold a property they used to rent out. The DGCs are a lot older now than when they wrote the previous will and they were thinking it would be better to let them have the money they were going to be left sooner rather than later. Their plan was to buy each of them a car and also a lump sum for university.

Son in law says this isn't fair unless they do the same for his son. DB told him that's not how it works in their family at his parents' choice and he wasn't going to change the rules now. There is nothing to stop Son in law's parents doing the same. They are very well off with multiple holidays abroad. They are very generous at Christmas and birthdays but otherwise prefer to spend their money on themselves. Fair enough.

DB still intends doing what he planned with his DD's approval. But I wonder if he is being a bit U.

OP posts:

mrscropley · 01/08/2017 13:22

Imo when it comes to money /wills the shares should be between blood dc only as the sc will receive from their other dp. .
Xmas and birthday gifts should be the same though. .


AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 01/08/2017 13:24

Your DB isn't BU. DSS has his own GO to provide for him should they so choose. It's generally a bit odd to expect grandparents to fork out for GC that aren't theirs by blood, only on MN is it sometimes expected for step-children to be treated the same financially by extended family members.

Your DNiece's DH is trying to pull a fast one, and cheeky to boot.


Jammydodger81 · 01/08/2017 13:26

Son in Law is BU. He didn't want the grandparents to treat him equally at Christmas because his family got him less but now it's inheritance they should treat all the kids the same?

If all the families are well off, unless DSS family will treat your nieces children the same then he will inherit 3 times


DressedCrab · 01/08/2017 13:27

Thanks, that's how I feel.

OP posts:

ecuse · 01/08/2017 13:38

Also agreed DB is not being U.

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